Last week, I reflected back on the mostly professional recap of 2020.
This week, I needed to go mostly personal.
This year, more so than last, was a year of game-changing reflection for me. I not only had to look at my own behavior and lifestyle in the midst of a pandemic but in a certain type of personal crisis. I needed to dig deeper with my therapist, my wife, my clients, and that person I see when I look in the mirror.
Most of the discord in my life stemmed from one place and one place alone: feelings of self-worth.
Nearly every bad thing I’ve done or been inspired to do in my life came from whatever story I told myself about personal value in this world, what I contribute to those around me, and how the skeletons in my closet choose to come out and make their presence known.
Somewhat frustratingly, I’ve always had this uncanny knack of taking the successes in my life and finding some way of sabotaging them. God forbid, I just “be happy” and grateful for what I have because I know intimately what it’s like to be without.
Stepping outside of myself for a moment, I’ve seen some pretty incredible things happen this year. People who I saw who had little confidence in their own innate abilities to succeed became more confident, more proud, more capable. People who I know who lived with grudges, a lack of forgiveness and a general darkness in their hearts became more loving, more forgiving, more understanding.
2020 gave me a moment to step back, take the things around me in, and remind myself: look how far you’ve come. Don’t lose ground.
Despite the many successes (and there were many) in 2020, I found that every slight hint of failure would crush me. It wasn’t enough to celebrate the good, I had to agonize and carry on over the things that weren’t going as I’d want them to.
A couple of months ago, an online client/friend I have worked with on and off for many years decided to discontinue training with me. She was once a face-to-face client and then she and her wife moved out of state several years ago. I knew she had a lot going on in her life and I had to remind myself that she had “bigger fish to fry” by embarking on a journey with a therapist. While it was a letdown to not have her actively training with me, I felt that if she could get some quality work in with the therapist, we could possibly reconnect again sometime down the road.
So, it took me by surprise when I received a rather large package in the mail from her just before Christmas. She has developed a fantastic hobby of crafting custom handbags and I’ve watched her develop her skills over the years. In the box, she made a leather backpack for me. There inside the box was a handwritten letter that she has been kind enough to allow me to reprint here.
“Dearest Jason, This is my third rewrite. Not unlike the amount of tries at the perfect bag for you. I’ve wanted to create something for you for the longest time. My skills have grown to a point that I felt good about making something that would be worthy of you wearing. Worthy of you. Every hole has two stitches. For me, it represented every time you poured into me and I rose to meet you. It is not a perfect bag. Some stretches of stitching are flawless, then there are some areas where I may not have struck hard enough, off center or distracted. In the moment, I curse and want to kick myself. In the end, I work at the flaws and decide it had purpose. I mean, even if I made the same exact bag again, I would learn at different points. No one would have the exact same strike pattern on their version of the bag. Anyway, I’m rambling. I’m doing well in therapy. I’m doing well with mindful eating, back to tracking everything I eat and drink (Why do I stop that? It’s so effective-duh!) I work out every other day. I have full health clearance and I’m not sad as often. You’ve changed my life so much and every time we’ve reconnected, who I am now is part your doing-and that is a good thing. The love poured into this bag reflects that. It’s built to get worn and scuffed up over the years, so I’m hopeful you’ll wear it as much as your cowboy boots. I love you more than you’ll ever know.“
In a year marked with a lot of feelings of “worth”, it was a hard letter to read. Hard, because, I have to remember that the person I see in the mirror is not the same as others see. And, I hold myself to a mostly unreasonable standard that can be difficult to attain.
However, it reminded me of some simple truths:
-Progress looks different to everyone.
-If you think people aren’t listening and watching what you do, they are.
-Sometimes the most effective work to do is the least flashy and the hardest to be consistent with.
-Your life, despite how you feel about yourself, is of greater value than you know.
I said these words to my clients a couple of days ago and I’ll say them here. If you feel that you got a raw deal in 2020, remember that someone else had it worse in 2019. Someone altogether different may have it worse still in 2021.
We have no guarantee that 2021 will be markedly different or better than 2020.
We are still left with the scant few things we have control over in our lives: how we eat, how we treat our bodies, how we react to life as it comes to us and how we treat others. That’s it. Everything else is completely and utterly out of our control.
For me, I remind myself of value and self-worth. Do good, try and do better each day, forgive, forgive, forgive.
And to G, who made me the bag. The bag is amazing, thank you. But the letter…you’ll never know what that letter meant to me. This time, I rise to meet you.
Signing off for 2020: Be strong…be healthy…be kind.
This week, I welcome the debut of coach Nick Zimmerman to the show. In this episode, we talk about what it was like for him to build his personal training clientele before the pandemic began. We also chat about how he transitioned his clients into the virtual platform and how they have thrived as a result. Nick talks about how authenticity and flexibility have helped him continue to work with his clients, how it works with his personality and his approaches for social media and client connections.
As I’ve done in the last few years by the end of December, I wrap up the highlights including my most read articles, most downloaded podcasts, my guest appearances on other podcasts and, of course, every book I consumed that year.
What can I say about this year that hasn’t been said (and said and said) by others far more eloquent than myself? True to the title of this post, there have been amazing things and catastrophically terrible things that have happened in 2020.
The good: RevFit not only survived the shutdowns we came out swinging. What began as a trend to have a banner year for this business since we opened in 2009 will actually finish as still a banner year, despite what happened with shutdowns in the spring. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: It’s because of our clients. At best, I opened a business that gave people the opportunity to not only be themselves but to do their damnedest at improving themselves. The rest of the “magic” is by our clients alone. They are the lifeblood of RevFit. Credit as well goes to my staff. In 2020, that would be Emily Blidy, David Cameron and Mike Roder. I could not have survived this year and every curveball it threw without them. Thank YOU.
Also on the good, my wife and I, after 11 years of being together turned a pivotal corner in our marriage. We spoke about it when she was a guest on my podcast a few months ago. I feel as if Marissa and I have gone from one difficult/traumatic circumstance to another for as long as we’ve been together. How you manage those problems is, I think, what makes or breaks a couple. It’s amazing what you “learn” about someone when you open your eyes/ears and listen and see. Marissa, I credit you: “A little different, a lot better” (Sorry folks, it’s an inside story…)
The bad: I saw a lot of great trainers and fitness facilities either close up shop or have to leave this industry. That is heartbreaking to me. I know how hard it is to survive in the fitness industry and some truly great coaches could not outlive the devastation of the pandemic and the shutdowns.
Also, due to the virus, I had to go through some very lengthy spans of time not seeing my son, Jackson. His mother and I, felt it was not in his best interest to open up anymore exposure than necessary to him, so while we have definitely had time with Jax this year, it has not been as much as we’re accustomed to and the holidays have not been the same without him. I know it’s all a blip on the radar but it’s tough, as a father, to not see your kids as often as you’d like. Someday (hopefully soon) this will pass and we can go back to “normal” but right now, his Mom and I agreed a little bit of distance might be best for the time being.
My wife also lost her grandmother this year. Not to COVID, mind you, but some other health issues that came up. This will be her first series of holidays to get through since her grandmother passed.
Lastly, something you’ll read about again in just a few, was the loss of one of our RevFit family members. Terry Waye passed away suddenly from a heart attack and I am still not quite processing that he is gone. It was, without question, the most devastating news I heard this year and I can only imagine the grief his wife and sons are experiencing.
On that note, let’s go for the lists:
My Top 5 Most Read Articles of 2020.
I should be thrilled when one of my articles completely shatters the reads and shares of others. On one hand, I am happy that the number 1 spot was so widely read but I had to lose someone I cared very much about to write it. I can’t even read it again myself. It’s too upsetting. However, it came from the heart and it came with his wife’s blessing. My post about Terry Waye took the top spot by a landslide.
I’m always terribly grateful to be invited as a guest on someone else’s podcast. It’s an honor to be considered when there are really some fantastic coaches out there to be picked and some folks give me a nod as well. Thank you to everyone who invited me on, and as always, I hope the content and discussion help someone out there.
I take books in via physical (handheld) consumption and through audiobooks. I have always read at a frantic pace and if COVID has any silver linings, it’s that I definitely got more reading in this year than normal. I also got into a series of books that led to a higher rate of consumption as well: the 33 1/3 series. This is a collection of books where an author selects an album in history and writes a full tome on it. The books average between 100-150pgs in length and I can normally conquer one in a day. Some of them are great, some are not. Because my mind works in strange ways, I started at the beginning of the series and have been working my way diligently through them. I read no more than 10 of them a month and by the end of this year, I will be roughly through half of the series. I normally hotlink the books with a place to purchase but I read so many that I just thought I’d list them this time. If you see something of interest, please check out your local bookseller or book website of choice and support the author by purchasing a copy for yourself.
1-A Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
2-Simply Bourbon by Bob Davidson
3-He’s A Porn Addict…Now What? by Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea
4-Toddlers Are A**holes (It’s Not Your Fault) by Bunmi Laditan
5-Good And Mad by Rebecca Traister
6-Gods At War by Kyle Idleman
7-Radical Candor by Kim Scott
8-Incognito: The Secret Lives Of The Brain by David Eagleman
9-The Eating Instinct by Virginia Sole-Smith
10-The Drunken Botanist by Amy Stewart
11-Fanatic! by Henry Rollins
12-The Body Book by Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bark
13-Romantic Violence: Memoirs of an American Skinhead by Christian Picciolini
14-Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky
15-The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides
16-One Two Another by Tim Burgess
17-The Midnight Line by Lee Child
18-Habits Of A Champion by Dana Cavalea
19-On Bowie by Rob Sheffield
20-ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris
21-The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
22-Gutless by Christian Finn
23-On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
24-Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb
25-On Time: A Princely Life In Funk by Morris Day and David Ritz
26-Manage Your Day-To-Day by 99U
27-Herd: How To Change Mass Behaviour By Harnessing Our True Nature by Mark Earls
28-A Book Of Common Prayer by Joan Didion
29-More Fun In The New World: The Unmaking and Legacy of LA Punk by John Doe and Tom DeSavia
30-Horror Stories by Liz Phair
31-The Wealthy Fit Pro’s Guide To Getting Clients and Referrals by Jonathan Goodman and Mike Doehla
32-The Moral Animal by Robert Wright
33-The Core 4 by Steph Gaudreau
34-On Writing by Stephen King
35-The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris
36-The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
37-Territorial Rights by Muriel Sparks
38-The Supermale by Alfred Jarry
39-A Liberated Mind by Steven C. Hayes
40-Go Ahead In The Rain: Notes To A Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurraqib
41-The Fitness Chef by Graeme Tomlinson
42-The Intimacy Struggle by Janet G. Woititz
43-The Future Of Feeling by Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips
44-The Way Of Men by Jack Donovan
45-Diet Recovery 2 by Matt Stone
46-The Long Distance Leader by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne Turmel
47-Stay Fanatic! Vol. 1 by Henry Rollins
48-Unplugged by Brian Mackenzie, Andy Galpin and Phil White
49-The Gynae Geek by Dr. Anita Mitra
50-Bad Blood by John Carreyou
51-The Club King by Peter Gatien
52-The Names Of The Dead by Kevin Wignall
53-Who Killed Mister Moonlight? Bauhaus, Black Magick and Benediction by David J. Haskins
54-The Art Of Gathering by Priya Parker
55-The Turn Of The Key by Ruth Ware
56-Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker
57-The Beautiful Ones by Prince
58-Forties On Fire by Kathryn Kos
59-Talking To Girls About Duran Duran by Rob Sheffield
60-Ham On Rye by Charles Bukowski
61-Bourbon: The Rise, Fall, and Rebirth of an American Whiskey by Fred Minnick
62-The Jazz Ear: Conversations Over Music by Ben Ratliff
63-The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
64-What You Did by Claire McGowan
65-Key Person Of Influence by Daniel Priestley
66-Hard Listening: The Greatest Rock Band Ever (Of Authors) Tells All by Various Authors
67-Lean & Strong by Josh Hillis
68-Palaces by Simon Jacobs
69-Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott
70-Eat Me: The Food And Philosophy Of Kenny Shopsin by Kenny Shopsin and Carolynn Carreno
71-Becoming A Supple Leopard by Kelly Starrett and Glen Cordoza
72-Fitness Hacks For Over 50 by K. Aleisha Fetters
73-The Boatman’s Daughter by Andy Davidson
74-My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
75-Hard To Handle: The Life and Death of The Black Crowes by Steve Gorman with Steven Hyden
76-The Beck Diet Solution by Judith S. Beck
77-Punk Rock: An Oral History by John Robb
78-The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
79-Raise High The Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour, An Introduction by J.D. Salinger
80-King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette
81-The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
82-33 1/3: Dusty In Memphis by Warren Zanes
83-33 1/3: Forever Changes by Andrew Hultkrans
84- 33 1/3: Pet Sounds by Jim Fusili
85-33 1/3: Harvest by Sam Inglis
86-The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge
87-33 1/3: The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society by Andy Miller
88-33 1/3: Meat Is Murder by Joe Pernice
89-33 1/3: The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn by John Cavanagh
90-33 1/3: Abba Gold by Elisabeth Vincentelli
91-How To Be Ultra Spiritual by JP Sears
92-33 1/3: Electric Ladyland by John Perry
93-Hacking Whiskey by Aaron Goldfarb
94-Eat Their Lunch by Anthony Iannarino
95-33 1/3: Sign ‘O’ The Times by Michaelangelo Matos
96-Among The Thugs by Bill Buford
97-33 1/3: Unknown Pleasures by Chris Ott
98-Cured: The Tale Of Two Imaginary Boys by Lol Tolhurst
99-Give Yourself More by Georgie Fear and K. Aleisha Fetters
100-Chapter And Verse by Bernard Sumner
101-Clothes Clothes Clothes Music Music Music Boys Boys Boys by Viv Albertine
102-To Throw Away Unopened by Viv Albertine
103-33 1/3: The Velvet Underground and Nico by Joe Harvard
104- 33 1/3: Let It Be by Steve Matteo
105-Life, Animated by Ron Suskind
106- 33 1/3: Live At The Apollo by Douglas Wolk
107- Fair Warning by Michael Connelly
108- 33 1/3: Aqualung by Allan Moore
109-33 1/3: OK Computer by Dai Griffiths
110-The War For Kindness by Jamil Zaki
111-33 1/3: Let It Be by Colin Meloy
112-33 1/3: Led Zeppelin IV by Erik Davis
113-33 1/3: Exile On Main St. by Bill Janovitz
114-Set The Boy Free by Johnny Marr
115-Them: Why We Hate Each Other And How We Heal by Ben Sasse
116-The Bourbon Bible by Eric Zandona
117-Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum
118-There There by Tommy Orange
119-Drunk by Ben Stearns
120-Everything Is Combustible by Richard Lloyd
121-Mindfulness & Acceptance for Treating Eating Disorders & Weight Concerns by Ann Haynos, Evan Forman, Meghan Butryn and Jason Lillis
122-The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis
123-Eat Less and Move More: My Journey by Paul G. Brodie
124-Shoe Dog by Phil Knight
125-The Dichotomy Of Leadership by Jocko Wilink and Leif Babin
126-Things In Jars by Jess Kidd
127-The Drop Edge Of Yonder by Rudolph Wurlitzer
128-The Road To Character by David Brooks
129-Rotten: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs by John Lydon
130- 33 1/3: Ramones by Nicholas Rombes
131- 33 1/3: Armed Forces by Franklin Bruno
132-Blue Moon by Lee Child
133- 33 1/3: Murmur by J. Niimi
134-Anger Is An Energy: My Life Uncensored by John Lydon
135- 33 1/3: Grace by Daphne A. Brooks
136- 33 1/3: Endtroducing… by Eliot Wilder
137- 33 1/3: Kick Out The Jams by Don McLeese
138- 33 1/3: Low by Hugo Wilcken
139-Playing Changes: Jazz For A New Century by Nate Chinen
140- 33 1/3: Born In The U.S.A. by Geoffrey Himes
141- 33 1/3: Music From Big Pink by John Niven
142- 33 1/3: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea by Kim Cooper
143-Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover
144-The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa
145-The Girl With The Louding Voice by Abi Dare
146-Glitter Up The Dark: How Pop Music Broke The Binary by Sasha Geffen
147-Little Weirds by Jenny Slate
148-Between The World And Me by Ta-Nehesi Coates
149-Manifesto For A Moral Revolution by Jacqueline Novogratz
150-Attempts by Dan John
151-Haints Stay by Colin Winnette
152-The Body: A Guide For Occupants by Bill Bryson
153- 33 1/3: Paul’s Boutique by Dan LeRoy
154- 33 1/3: Doolittle by Ben Sisario
155- 33 1/3: There’s A Riot Going On by Miles Marshall Lewis
156- 33 1/3: The Stone Roses by Alex Green
157- 33 1/3: In Utero by Gillian G. Gaar
158- 33 1/3: Highway 61 Revisited by Mark Polizzotti
159- 33 1/3: Loveless by Mike McGonigal
160- 33 1/3: The Who Sell Out by John Dougan
161- 33 1/3: Bee Thousand by Marc Woodworth
162- 33 1/3: Daydream Nation by Matthew Stearns
163-Friends And Strangers by J. Courtney Sullivan
164-The New Way To Eat and Get Slim by Donald G. Cooley
165-Blacktop Wasteland by S.A. Cosby
166-Violence Girl by Alice Bag
167-Fitness Science Explained by Michael Matthews & James Krieger
168-Menopocalypse by Amanda Thebe
169-Change Maker by John Berardi
170-Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig
171-It Doesn’t Have To Be Crazy At Work by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson
172-Me And White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad
173-On Grand Strategy by John Lewis Gaddis
174- 33 1/3: Court And Spark by Sean Nelson
175- 33 1/3: Use Your Illusion I & II by Eric Weisbard
176-Consider This by Chuck Palahniuk
177- 33 1/3: Songs In The Key Of Life by Zeth Lundy
178- 33 1/3: The Notorious Byrd Brothers by Ric Menck
179- 33 1/3: Trout Mask Replica by Kevin Courrier
180-The Autobiography Of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
181- 33 1/3: Double Nickels On The Dime by Michael T. Fournier
182- 33 1/3: Aja by Don Breithaupt
183- 33 1/3: People’s Instinctive Travels And The Paths Of Rhythm by Shawn Taylor
184- 33 1/3: Rid Of Me by Kate Schatz
185- 33 1/3: Achtung Baby by Stephen Catanzarite
186-Compete Works, Selected Letters by Arthur Rimbaud
187-Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion
188-Tools of Titans by Tim Ferris
189-Generation X by Douglas Coupland
190-A 2nd Helping Of Chicken Soup For The Soul by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
191-Sporting Body, Sporting Mind by John Syer and Christopher Connolly
192-The Time Of The Assassins by Henry Miller
193-The Rapid Fat Loss Handbook by Lyle McDonald
194-What’s Right With You by Barry Duncan
195- 33 1/3: If You’re Feeling Sinister by Scott Plagenhoef
196- 33 1/3: Pink Moon by Amanda Petrusich
197- 33 1/3: Let’s Talk About Love by Carl Wilson
198- 33 1/3: Swordfishtrombones by David Smay
199- 33 1/3: 20 Jazz Funk Greats by Drew Daniel
200- 33 1/3: Horses by Philip Shaw
201- 33 1/3: Master Of Reality by John Darnielle
202-Sweat The Technique by Rakim
203- 33 1/3: Reign In Blood by D.X. Ferris
204- 33 1/3: Shoot Out The Lights by Hayden Childs
205- 33 1/3: Gentlemen by Bob Gendron
206-Hook Point by Brendan Kane
207-The Gallows Pole by Benjamin Myers
208-Voices Of Courage by Mike Domritz
209-The Ultimate Diet 2.0 by Lyle McDonald
210-Resistance by Tori Amos
211-Girl In A Band by Kim Gordon
212-Found Audio by N.J. Campbell
213-Pity The Reader by Kurt Vonnegut and Suzanne McConnell
214-The Deeper The Water The Uglier The Fish by Katya Apekina
215-The Un-Prescription For Autism by Dr. Janet Lintala
216-Leave The World Behind by Rumaan Alam
217-Love Goes To Buildings On Fire by Will Hermès
218- 33 1/3: Rum, Sodomy & The Lash by Jeffrey T. Roesgen
219- 33 1/3: The Gilded Palace Of Sin by Bob Proehl
220- 33 1/3: Pink Flag by Wilson Neate
221- 33 1/3: XO by Matthew LeMay
222- 33 1/3: Radio City by Bruce Eaton
223- 33 1/3: One Step Beyond by Terry Edwards
224-The Yellow House by Sarah M. Broom
225- 33 1/3: Illmatic by Matthew Gasteier
226- 33 1/3: Another Green World by Geeta Dayal
227- 33 1/3: Zaireeka by Mark Richardson
228- 33 1/3: 69 Love Songs by LD Beghtol
229-The Vine That Ate The South by J.D. Wilkes
230-Bluefishing by Steve Sims
231-Be Calm by Jill P. Weber
232-Remarkable Retail by Steve Dennis
233-Coaching Rules by Brendon Rearick
234-Iron John by Robert Bly
235-Last Exit To Brooklyn by Hubert Selby, Jr.
236-Remain In Love by Chris Frantz
237-Good Food, Bad Diet by Abby Langer
238-Yes Is The Answer. What Is The Question? by Cameron Mitchell
239-The Box Man by Kobo Abe
240-Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa
241-Who’s Your Gladys by Marilyn Suttle and Lori Jo Vest
242-What You Do Is Who You Are by Ben Horowitz
243- 33 1/3: Facing Future by Dan Kois
244-How To Have Impossible Conversations by Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay
245- 33 1/3: Wowee Zowee by Bryan Charles
246-Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
247- 33 1/3: Highway To Hell by Joe Bonomo
248- 33 1/3: Spiderland by Scott Tennent
249- 33 1/3: Pretty Hate Machine by Daphne Carr
250- 33 1/3: Song Cycle by Richard Henderson
I’m capping this off with one of my favorite client pictures of the year. Don had just lost 50 pounds when we took this picture and it was a little bit emotional for each of us. Of course, it’s 2020 and sadly, we have to be mindful of who we hug these days. But this was a big deal to Don and myself. It will be nice when we (collectively) can get back to a day when you can hug each other without a hint of fear.
Take care of yourself, take care of others. In the meantime, I’m signing off on the 2020 recap with the words we live by around here…
I have the great pleasure of welcoming Abby Langer to the show this week to talk about her upcoming book, “Good Food, Bad Diet”. I was privy to an advanced copy and if you are already familiar with Abby’s work, you’ll know it’s a great read. If not, we chat about the “core beliefs” section which comes at the beginning. Abby and I discuss the core beliefs that hold people back from realizing their goals when it comes to how they approach nutrition and how it shapes their lives. Her book comes out in January and you can preorder your copy now. This one is HIGHLY recommended!
I got certified as a personal trainer 13 years ago.
I opened Revolution Fitness & Therapy nearly 12 years ago.
Early on in this career, I found myself answering a lot of the same questions and concerns of my clients and I felt that starting a blog would be a good place for me to put some of those thoughts and responses so that the information could help others.
Very quickly, I realized there were certain things I felt more comfortable speaking on: nutrition, mindset, and general lifestyle troubleshooting.
By comparison, there were certain areas I felt less comfortable speaking on: biomechanics of exercise, peer-reviewed research papers, and whatever programming methods I thought elicited the best results.
As I developed more of an understanding of the topics I was comfortable writing on, the focus became how I could capture the attention of my readers and, most importantly, influence change.
My first blog efforts began about two years after I opened my business. My writing, at that time, was less than spectacular. I knew what I wanted to say but I had difficulty expressing myself in ways that I felt comfortable with.
After some fits and starts, I abandoned that blog platform and took some time off from writing.
About a year later, I fired up a new website (this one you’re reading now) and committed myself to consistent weekly writing.
That was over 4 years and over 200 articles ago.
If you’re a fellow coach, you need a platform to speak from. This could be photos and infographics on Instagram and Facebook, it could be instructional videos on YouTube, it could be bite-sized chunks of wisdom and insight on Twitter, or you could go longer form (as I have) and work on a blog.
If there are three things I would beg you to do more than anything else, it’s this: be authentic, be consistent and improve.
Be Authentic
Writing, for me, is catharsis in many ways. I write to work through thoughts and frustrations in my mind on both on a personal and professional level. I mostly write to my intended audience of the general public. Every so often, I write something like this to help out other coaches.
I’ve been tremendously fortunate that my work has been shared by coaches I have a great deal of respect for. It’s been shared by people in my community who were otherwise touched by my words. Admittedly, the really personal stuff that I write tends to perform better from an analytics standpoint than some of my coaching work.
I’m okay with that.
The only downside is that my personal writing normally comes from a dark place and it sometimes takes a lot out of me mentally to write that content.
However, data speaks, and if the personal work is what touches people, I’ll continue to write it assuming I can craft messages in unique ways each time.
You need a platform to build your brand because people need to hear/read/see your “voice”. They want to know which lines you draw in the sand, what you stand for from a diet and training standpoint, and what they’d be getting if they decided that they want to spend their money being coached by you.
On that point, keep the voice you use as close to your real voice as possible. If you use profanity in real life, you may want to use some in your content. Careful with this, though. Some profanity may be acceptable to a certain demographic and less so to another.
Myself? I do use profanity in real life and on my podcast, so from time to time, you’ll see it in my writing but I try to not overdo it. I cater to a wide range of clients and I don’t aim to alienate anyone even if I can’t please everyone.
And this points to the other side of content creation: how real can you get?
I was recently speaking with a fellow coach who is just now starting to push her content out to the world. She’s nervous. She’s likely feeling some degree of impostor syndrome, as we all do, and is concerned about whatever scrutiny she might come under for what she posts.
This is normal.
After all the writing I’ve done, which has included not just the blogs but two books as well, there are still weeks where I feel like what I’m putting out sucks (in all fairness, maybe it does).
I was a guest on a podcast earlier this year where the host asked me about content creation and the willingness and transparency of the writing.
I write about what’s on my mind. As a result, I choose to throw in the parts of my life that have caused me the most pain, the most reflection and the most learning experiences. Where it’s led to is the topics of sexual abuse, drug addiction, failed relationships, poor life choices, grief, hospitalizations, suicide and more.
Those topics aren’t for the faint of heart. And they are never easy for me to write about.
Which is why I have to space those topics out and give myself some time to breathe from discussing them at length. Whenever I write about them, I have to take another angle and another perspective at how those experiences affected me and what I’ve learned since then.
One last thought on authenticity: Do NOT swipe anyone’s content without giving credit where it’s due. I’ve seen other coaches wreck their careers (or at least give themselves a lengthy detour) by taking content that wasn’t theirs and publishing it as if it were original. Don’t be that coach.
You may love, hate or be indifferent about what/how I write but one thing I will always be is uniquely me.
Be Consistent
Writing a blog (at least the way I’ve done it) forces me into a routine. A routine to continue polishing up skills and continue to refine a message so that each week, it hopefully inspires at least one person to be better and do better.
Writing became the natural progression of where I left my music “career”. For many years of my life, I was dead set on being a performer. I wanted my songs to reach as many people as possible. When I closed the chapter on those dreams, I still needed an outlet to fill the void of what songs and poems used to do.
This became that project.
No matter which platform you use, stay consistent with it. Think of the questions your clients ask and think of how you respond to them. Then, determine which platform you want to share your wisdom with.
I use the blog when I need to be lengthy with my thoughts.
I use Facebook to brag about the success of my clients with videos, pictures and humorous memes.
I use Instagram to sometimes replicate what I post on Facebook and sometimes to throw some different videos, pictures or thoughts into the world.
I know some people focus on algorithms and paid ads but those things really aren’t where I put my focus. I keep my blog and podcast on weekly schedules, I post client successes on my personal Facebook wall in real time with no care whatsoever to frequency and I post on Instagram once a day. That’s what works best for me and your business model may need a different approach.
Improve
I heard someone say that reading fiction helps improve your writing and while I find that difficult for me to qualify, I have to admit it’s helped my own writing.
Without question, the platform that brings me the most business, by way of referrals, is Facebook but not every coach will agree with me on that. Those referrals give me a gauge on how I’m improving with that type of marketing.
Think about your audience, think about who you want to inspire and/or impress with your knowledge, your skillsets, and your results.
Then, fashion your message accordingly.
Just as you expect your clients to improve through training and improve their diet approach, you’ll have to find ways to improve your content delivery. Sometimes, you’ll think you made a great post or video and it will be crickets compared to something you “threw together” that was a rousing success.
I’m still nowhere near the writer, presenter or host that I know I’m capable of being but I keep improving and that’s mostly from staying consistent and, every so often, asking other coaches to look over my work to make sure I’m being clear with what I’m trying to accomplish before I publish something.
A handful of years ago, I hired a writing coach to help see my work from the outside and offer me some valuable tips towards reaching a broader audience. It wasn’t always easy getting the feedback because, in many ways, your content is your baby and you become somewhat possessive of your methods.
However, that’s exactly WHY you hire a coach. For someone else to be the expert in what it takes to take you closer to your ideal place.
My final nudge to you:
A coach needs a platform to speak from.
Choose yours and pour your ever-loving soul into it.
The audience you’re trying to reach needs to hear you.
This week, I welcome Karen Love Lee to the show. Karen and I talk about how traumatic experiences like abuse, grief and addiction, even at an early age, can shape the way we look at life as adults. In this episode we talk about steps you can make to understand how it happens and some tips to help uncover it.
This week, I’ll be presenting a virtual masterclass on lifestyle change to a private community on Facebook. Seeing as how, that is our take on the term “revolution” (a dramatic and wide-reaching change), I wanted to share some of those thoughts with you this week. If you’re in a place in life where you need to change, I hope this gives you some ideas to work with.
Determine the “bottom”: If weight loss is your goal, you have to decide when you can no longer “be” in the place you’re in now. Clients who treat their goal as “it would be nice” if I lost weight aren’t nearly as driven to succeed as someone who refuses to be their current weight any longer. The number itself is arbitrary. For one person, being 20 pounds overweight is a deal breaker and that is their “bottom“. For another person, it’s 217 pounds overweight with a diagnosis of Type II Diabetes and the threat of an amputated limb. Between those two individuals is a myriad of examples of people who make the decision that where they are today is “as bad as it will get.” This is the bottom. Change starts here.
The bottom does not have to be a dramatic place or position. There was a meme floating around the internet sometime back that made the claim (I’m paraphrasing) that no one has ever made significant change in their life without getting tired of their own bullshit. While it isn’t always the case, change starts when we realize that we often sabotage our own efforts for success. Yes, outside influence can affect us and yes, sometimes those closest to us can be the greatest saboteurs. For some people, they need a health diagnosis before it shakes them back to reality to reverse their circumstances. For someone else, they need to look in the mirror on just the right day and state: “That’s it. I’ve had enough. I have a goal and I’m not going to stop until I reach it.” During my days as a drug addict, I had friends who found the bottom because of a jail sentence, a potential overdose or the loss of a job. Every person is motivated to change by a completely different set of circumstances and no two people will be alike.
“You’re not in enough pain to change”: This is a concept that even my therapist and I are on the same page about. If you are resistant to change, you may fault yourself for not being motivated enough or have enough willpower to resist temptation leading you off course. A counterargument is that you are not at the point where the pain you’re in is unbearable enough for you to start prioritizing different actions. Coincidentally, long before my therapist said those words to me, I had written a blog with the same sentiments.
Be uncomfortable. One of my favorite coaches in the industry, Leigh Peele, shared this thought on a podcast we did awhile back. I’ve always loved the way that Leigh views the world and works to meet people where they are on a spectrum of change. She believes (I wholeheartedly agree) that you need to get acclimated to the fact that the change you often want in life requires a great degree of consistent discomfort. Once you embrace that fact, change becomes easier to implement and stick to.
Find an outlet. There are some aspects of change that seem so simple in theory that we often overlook them. Many people, when struggling to improve areas of their life, often resort to outlets for stress and grief that are counterproductive to their goals. For instance, a person who has spent the better part of their lives in a cycle of a yo-yo dieting may only have food as an outlet for their emotions. So, when things go wrong (and they do), food is the comfort. It is the security blanket. However, the way food is being utilized here runs counter to a weight loss plan. Having a non-food related outlet for those emotions can be immensely valuable to this person. That may mean starting an exercise program to relieve stress or learning a new craft/hobby. 2020 has been a fantastic year for showing us how we handle stress under the consistent strain of a pandemic. Hopefully, it taught lessons of how not to react when situations are out of our control.
Get support. If there is one thing I constantly try to hammer home to my clients, it’s the fact that change rarely happens in isolation. We need help. If you need exercise in your life, you might need a personal trainer. If you have mental hurdles to overcome, you may need a qualified therapist. If you don’t know how to manage food, you might consider hiring a dietitian. Don’t discredit free resources like social media support groups or 12-step support groups. Having the influence and guidance of people who may have less emotional attachment to you can give you some valuable insight into how others made change work for them.
The tools evolve. If you embark on a life altering journey of change now, the tools you need to get started may not be what you use 6 months from now. Understanding that as your mindset and environment change around you, you will need different guidance and strategies to overcome the next hurdle is crucial for your success. Think of it like dieting. While the ketogenic diet might help you lose the first 20 pounds, you may need to experiment with plant-based dieting for the next 20 pounds and intuitive eating for the last 20. Believing that only one diet can solve the weight loss riddle in your life, with your specific set of challenges may be a short-sighted approach. Along the way, you’ll be learning things about food that show how and why certain foods behave in a specific way with your body.
Be patient. Be forgiving. I don’t like to lean to the side of woo but, any change worth making is going to take a while in coming to fruition. It’s one thing to make a conscious choice to change, it’s another to actually reach your goals. Some situations will never be removed from your life. If you’re learning how to overcome grief or trauma, you may always have to manage those circumstances so you can reduce the negative impacts they have on your life. If you have a significant amount of weight to lose, you may always have to be conscious of how your relationship with food affects your mind and your body. Since we always need food, a more caring approach to how you eat will be needed. When things don’t go as planned (which will happen more often than not), you’ll need to remind yourself that lasting change works on a spectrum that may feel like one step forward then two steps back. If you have a day where things go awry, a dose of forgiveness will trump a dose of shame any day of the week. We’re in this for the long haul and the journey towards self improvement (physically or mentally) constantly evolves.
Perfection is a myth. I wrote about this recently and I have to repeat it. At RevFit, we don’t coach perfect people, we don’t have perfect outcomes, and we don’t lead perfect well-adjusted lives 365 days of the year. We take people as they are and we help them understand that small changes matter, habits can be stacked and work in our long-term favor, and everyone makes mistakes. We try to keep reality and results closely intertwined. Long.Live.Progress.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t credit the changes I’ve made and still make in my life that allow me to live something closer to where and who I want to be. No matter what changes you need to make, these steps can help.
And maybe, you’re someone like me and you know that change must happen because you’re a role model to someone out there who’s watching.
I welcome Lift The Bar’s Head of Education, Gregg Slater, to the show this week. I have been continually impressed by the work Gregg has committed to the Lift The Bar community especially since the virus has affected coaches and their clients across the globe. In this episode, Gregg and I talk about better strategies for a 30-day lockdown program and considerations for how and why to approach exercises to keep from losing ground if you can’t access the gym. It would have been nearly impossible to cover the breadth of information Gregg could have discussed. I highly recommend that you check out his work, and more importantly (for the coaches), join the LTB community to see more of what we discussed in this week’s show.
Ask any music fan the albums they can’t live without and you’ll find where their passions and sentiments (and a story) lie.
For me, my desert island listens aren’t necessarily by my favorite bands/artists. Truth be told, I couldn’t tell you I have a favorite band, the list is too long.
While my Top 10 is mostly consistent on any given year (give or take one or two which may rotate out of favor), my Top 3 remain unchanged and that’s only because I know that without them, I likely wouldn’t be alive to write this.
Music has always been profoundly important to me. I grew up with parents who, by their own right were both musical and music fans. My father was in bands in high school and college and would still tinker on guitar well into my adolescence and my mother was a singer. I grew up in a rock and roll household, so everything from Top 40 radio to folk and stadium rock would fill our house.
By time I was in the 6th grade, I had an allowance and enough of an opinion of what I liked to start purchasing cassettes or records with my own money and due to my obsessive leanings towards collecting things, I’ve always had a music collection (whether physical or digital) of note.
However, this article is just about those Top 3: the albums I wouldn’t be able to live without and why.
In the mid-90’s I was going through what would prove to be the most difficult years of my life. It started in college, circa 1996 and would reach something of a conclusion by the spring of 1998. This was when I was hospitalized 5 times for either suicide threats or suicide attempts.
Music was always there for me.
If a relationship went bad, I had music.
If I was struggling in school, there was music.
As I was writing and performing in bands, it was music that was in my eardrums inspiring me to keep writing, keep playing and to just stay alive.
In no particular order, if I were stranded on a desert island, I would need these three albums to get me through:
Jane’s Addiction-Nothing’s Shocking
Few bands, certainly of this era, successfully managed to combine rock, metal, funk and even jazz into something cohesive. While I do like all of the music the band has put out, I’m not sure that Jane’s would even make my Top 20 in terms of favorite bands. However, there’s just something about this album that has always blown my mind.
Like a lot of albums that came out in the 80’s, the mastering on it is quieter than I’d like, and I’d love a more dynamic version to come out that still keeps some integrity to the original quality of the music.
If you’re not familiar with the band, you may have heard either of the two “hits” from this album: Mountain Song and Jane Says.
Mountain Song, if memory serves, was my introduction to the band. I would have been about 13 years old when it came out. I’m 45 now which means this album has been a part of my life for over 3 decades (more so than the other two albums I’ll mention).
Perhaps because there are so many different styles of music on this album and it gives me at least a small taste of nearly every genre I already like, it’s nearly perfect in that regard.
Somehow, when The Smiths were still a functioning unit, I never paid attention to their music. While the original album, The Queen Is Dead, actually came out before the previously mentioned Jane’s Addiction album, it didn’t become a part of my life until 1992.
I remember walking into a music store around that time which carried new and used CDs (RIP Manhattan Music) and while I was perusing the recently acquired used section, there was a huge selection of Depeche Mode, The Cure and The Smiths CDs which had just been brought in.
I asked the associate why someone would want to get rid of all of those discs. He told me that the guy who traded them in had just gotten out of the psych ward for attempting suicide and he said that those albums completely depressed him so he wanted to sell them off.
“Hmm, his loss…my gain.” I remember thinking to myself.
While I can see that music like what those three bands were putting out was anything other than happy music, there was something about The Smiths that struck a different chord with me.
It was once I got to college, that I actually dived into the album, The Queen Is Dead, and more importantly, the song “I Know It’s Over.”
I know a lot of people who just can’t handle the singing or the writing of The Smiths former frontman, Morrissey. For me, I don’t know what I would have done without him. Yes, he’s dramatic. Yes, he’s mopey. And yes, for me, I needed to hear the words of someone who I felt was at a lower point than I was to help me see a light to get out.
And it was in that song, I Know It’s Over, where I heard the line: Oh, Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.
Jesus, I thought. There’s a guy who’s clearly more miserable than me. Surely I can see my way out of my own mess so I don’t end up writing lyrics like that to my own music!
It was music like this, that somehow gave me hope. Hope that I could pull through and the feeling that I knew I wasn’t alone with all those muddled emotions. Someone else understood…
I think the entire album is awesome. Even today when I listen to it, I’m able to step outside of how it affected me some 25+ years ago. There’s the person who needed to hear those words back then and the person who has somehow evolved in appreciation for it now. Now, when I listen to The Queen Is Dead, it’s just great music.
Jeff Buckley-Grace
Coincidentally, it’s the last artist/album I mention who will have something of a link to The Smiths. Jeff Buckley released the album Grace in 1994. I was just about to start college then.
Like me, Jeff was also a Smiths fan and he’s got more than one cover version of the aforementioned song, I Know It’s Over, to his credit as well.
I have arguably turned more people on to Jeff Buckley than any other artist I can think of. Sadly, he accidentally drowned in the Mississippi River less than 3 years after the release of Grace.
The first song I ever heard from Grace was his single “Last Goodbye” and while I did like the song at the time, it didn’t exactly reach out and grab me.
What I did notice was that there were several critics talking about how much they loved the album, so I bought a copy for myself in 1995.
I remember being in my college dormitory working on homework one evening with Grace playing in the background. At first, I just let it be background music…and then Hallelujah came on.
I stopped what I was doing and just listened.
It was, without question, one of those unforgettable music moments for me. I played it back again and again and again.
Jeff, as many may know, covered Leonard Cohen’s original song but he was performing a John Cale version which had additional lyrics to it. Since then, it’s only increased in popularity, most notably by Rufus Wainwright’s version from the movie Shrek.
Once Hallelujah took a hold of me, I couldn’t be separated from my Jeff Buckley disc for anything in this world. I think every song on there has been a favorite of mine at some point.
Like the other two albums mentioned, I’ve probably listened to Grace hundreds of times and every time, I can find something “new” that I love about it.
With Jane’s Addiction and the remaining members of The Smiths (Morrissey and Johnny Marr, specifically) there is so much more music to dive into beyond what albums I referenced. Jeff only had one studio album that he was alive to see come to fruition. He died before his second album could be completed although a posthumous release still came out as well as many other live and assorted compilations have come out since.
While the album itself is basically flawless, Jeff was ridiculously good live (often better) than he was in the studio.
If you’re unfamiliar with any of these albums, I invite you to listen to them. You don’t have to like them. They obviously mean something different to me because of the period of life I survived while they were a part of me.
These albums, at my weakest points in life, were the reminders: You’ll get through, you’ll be ok, everything will be ok…
Music may have a different place in your life. Maybe you’re connected to what you were listening to when you got married, or you partied to in high school or what you open your children’s ears up to.
The music that shapes my life stretches far beyond these three albums. I like many things faster or heavier or more dance-oriented or catchier. I love music designed for subwoofers and music that makes you want to smash weights in the gym.
I love music that makes me think, makes me cry, makes me dance with my wife at night, makes my kids jump up and down, and reminds me why I exist in this world and what I lived through to tell the tale.
Music is peace.
Music is salvation.
Music is love.
Music is something I hope you’ll think about as you read this.
And if you have a moment, send me your Top 3. I’d love to hear how and why those albums matter to you even if they don’t mean the same thing to me.
Until then, I’ll be spreading the message to my boys, just like Sebastian gets to be a part of as you see below.
This week, I welcome Chris and Eric Martinez to the show. We cover how trauma in their lives influenced their path into the fitness industry. We also talk about how there are lessons to be learned in 2020 whether you are a fitness enthusiast or a fellow coach who is trying to navigate this year and still be successful in reaching your goals.
You can find out more about the work Chris and Eric are doing at:
Jason Leenaarts 