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Remember Shake Weights?

I’ll do my very best to keep my inner child from going too far down that rabbit hole, but infomercials did their job, and Shake Weights generated millions upon millions of dollars.

All because people believed that a device like that could give them lean, toned arms.

And while studies found that the claims were wildly exaggerated (shocker, I know), are they completely useless?

Consider for a moment that, currently on Amazon, you can buy placebo pills that are filled with an inert substance backed by the belief that if you follow a simple exercise of 1)Setting your intention, 2) taking their pills, 3) visualizing the outcomes, and 4) following through, that YOU TOO can get one step closer to your goals.

The brain is wildly powerful and, often, not always, we can be convinced of the effectiveness of something simply by believing it can be helpful.

When it comes to the Shake Weights, no, they didn’t burn a lot of calories. However, if someone bought a Shake Weight, started using it frequently, and consciously or otherwise, started making other positive changes in their life, like: improving food intake, getting better sleep, going for a walk, or reducing alcohol and processed foods, then the Shake Weight was a powerful catalyst for change.

And yes, maybe after all those changes, that proud Shake Weight owner DID get some lean, toned arms.

I’d say that was a pretty good purchase of $19.95, even if the Shake Weight wasn’t “directly” effective.

And as for those “fairy dust” pills, if you follow all of those instructions, and you get one step closer to your goals, it’s probably worth the $24.99 investment…even though there is exactly no “beneficial” substance in the pills.

Consider also that even with supplements we believe to be helpful for us, in a JAMA study, 40% of the supplements tested had ZERO trace of the effective ingredient in them.

So, when we consider the devices, supplements, treatments, and potions out there trying to optimize our health, sometimes it’s helpful to remember that what we’re paying for might actually be close to useless, but if our minds tell us that it’s effective, and we make other positive changes, then the net result is “potentially” positive as well.

Either way, buyer beware.

Periodically, I’ll have a conversation with clients about values.

And two questions to ask:

1. What are your values?
2. How are your behaviors aligned with your values?

Values can change over time and depending on what might be happening with family, faith, health, finances, etc., your values might shift in priority.

They might also run in contrast to your loved ones…

And truth be told, I hadn’t taken stock of my own values in a long time until recently.

I was given a list (which I’ll adapt and repurpose) and was asked to pick my top 12 values.

Once they were selected, I had to narrow down to 6.

And once those were picked, it was to find the top 3 I couldn’t live without.

Mind you, it’s not uncommon for personal values to align with professional values.

And the non-exhaustive list started with things like:

Achievement

Adventure

Arts

Close relationships

Community

Competition

Cooperation

Creativity

Effectiveness

Efficiency

Excellence

Expertise

Fame

Financial Gain

Freedom

Friendship

Growth

Honesty

Independence

Influencing Others

Inner Harmony

Integrity

Knowledge

Leadership

Loyalty

Meaningful Work

Merit

Money

Nature

Order

Power and Authority

Promoting Personal Development

Recognition

Religion

Responsibility And Accountabilty

Serenity

Stability

Status

Transparency

Truth

Wealth

Wisdom

Work Under Pressure

Working With Others

Work Alone

(Edited and adapted from the work of Peter Senge)

And when I’d finished all of my curating and crafting, I was left with three:

Integrity

Stability

Promoting Personal Growth

As I’ve looked back on my life, the personal and professional aspects, if these three values weren’t in place, everything else suffered.

Integrity and stability encompassed mental health, relationships, professional behavior, and finances while promoting personal growth affected emotional, physical and professional improvements.

When I feel like I’ve prioritized those three, life feels a bit more seamless to me and while it’s never going to be perfect and there will always be gaps that need attention, keeping these values front of mind covers a lot of ground.

I write this on the heels of celebration of our 12-year wedding anniversary and when I told Marissa about my 3 values, she understood completely.

So, my ask of you this week, is to take a look through the list, find your top 12, then your top 6, then the 3 you can’t live without.

Once you’ve found them, ask yourself: Am I living in accordance with these, and if not, what can I do to change that?

It’s common scenario: You put together a meal plan by yourself, or with a coach, and it’s smooth sails for roughly 2-3 weeks (on average).

And then, life happens.

There’s an unplanned lunch, a dinner with too much booze, a sick kid at home who only wants comfort food and snacks, or the business getaway that was catered the entire time.

Often, not always, it’s because the meal plan was too restrictive.

Either the calories were too low, the options were too rigid, or there wasn’t enough protein or fiber to keep you satisfied.

And for a lot of people, they can get away with some of these things during a busy work week in their normal environment but when travel happens or the weekend rolls around, it can be hard to keep the same patterns in play.

And if you’re like the majority, once the “wheels come off”, it can be difficult to get back in the mindset of coming right back to the goal.

One day’s deviation from the norm turns into two, and then a week goes by, you step back on the scale, have a Holy Shit moment, and then swear to whoever will listen that you’re going to get it together and get back to the plan…you know, the plan that you couldn’t stick to before.

So, here are a handful of thoughts to help develop a plan that’s easier to stick to with enough flexibility to be imperfect:

-Try and keep breakfast, lunch and dinner closer to the same size. Skipping breakfast may make you hungrier at lunch and dinner and put you at greater risk of overconsumption. Some people can get by with a protein shake and some fruit because it’s quick and portable. Some people need something more substantial like eggs and toast. Make sure you know yourself when it comes to what food choices give you some protein, some fat, and some fiber-rich carbs.

-Dining out is one of the biggest minefields when it comes to controlling calories. The easiest thing to do is to find the leanest source of protein you can, a vegetable to pair it with, and limit the starchy carbs (rice, potatoes, pasta, bread) unless you have the room for them. Also, consider minimizing or eliminating alcohol if you’re dining out.

-You’re allowed to have fun on the weekends but that’s not the same as a free-for-all. Many people get a little bit too loose with their food plan on the weekends and wonder why the scale jumped up by Monday. Typically, there’s a combination of increased calories (carbs and fats) and sodium that are contributing, but that’s not always the case. A flexible diet allows space for all foods but that doesn’t mean every portion fits the goal.

-Some loose guidelines for protein and fiber: Find a range of protein somewhere between 1.2-1.6g per kilogram of bodyweight. For instance, a 200lb person would be roughly 109-146g of protein per day. Remember that 4 oz of chicken breast (about a palm size) is approximately 30g. The average protein shake is 20-30g. You can overshoot that protein range if you’d like, but you don’t want to dip under the goal often. Follow the adage: Close enough is good enough. A good fiber goal is 12-14g per 1000 calories of intake. If you’re trying to increase fiber, do so slowly. A 3-5g increase may take a few days to get used to. Keep water intake up to help move waste through the system. A range of fiber sources can be helpful: nuts, seeds, whole grains, fruits and vegetables.

-Be forgiving. Sometimes, the diet just goes completely sideways. It happens to everyone. Try to keep the snowball from happening. If the plan goes weird on you, it could be that it’s not the right plan for you or it’s not flexible enough with respect to all of the other things going on in your life right now. Don’t discredit pre-made meals, home delivered meals, and frozen entrees to minimize cooking time when you’re in a pinch. The diet doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to find the right path for yourself.

-You may need more frequent maintenance breaks. Being in a deficit (a fat loss phase) is fine. However, depending on your lifestyle and how sensitive you are to being in a deficit, you may need structured, timed maintenance breaks where you are actively not dieting AND not going overboard. A maintenance break is exactly how it sounds, you’re eating at maintenance to support your body at its current weight and activity level. That could be as little as two days and upwards of weeks before you attack the next fat loss phase.

-Last but not least, be the person who knows that sometimes the most loving and caring thing you can do is to eat the cookie. And sometimes, the most loving and caring thing you can do is pass on the cookie. And if you pass on it, I’ll take yours. I love cookies.

(Photo courtesy of Tamas Pap)

From time to time, you might find yourself taking inventory of different areas of your life to see what’s in a good place, what’s not, and what you’re in position to change.

Maybe that’s financial, social, emotional, etc.

But within the frameworks of health, you have a handful of areas that might be worth focusing on.

You can revisit the list as often as you need, because health and our priorities tend to change over time.

While the list below is not exhaustive, and you can add from or take away what you need as it applies to you, let’s call these: 5 Pillars of Health.

I’ll give you a snapshot of mine based on where I am as of this writing: 50 (almost 51) years of age, married, with two sons (18 and 9), and I own a personal training business.

Nutrition: My nutrition is fairly balanced. I don’t count calories or track macros (although I would for a short amount of time if I had a physique goal.) My weight remains stable. I only weigh myself once (or less) a month because my clothes tend to let me know if something has changed. I tend to prioritize protein and fiber in my diet and I eat all foods with an omnivorous approach (except onions.) Water intake is good. I keep caffeine to one serving in the morning and my only alcohol consumption is 1-2 servings per week, primarily on the weekends. As for dining out, that might only happen 2-3 times per week. I LOVE cookies but I don’t typically overdo it with them.

Exercise: I am normally good at getting in 3 days a week of strength training. I have been dealing with tendonitis in both of my elbows which makes several movements difficult/painful to do. As a result, I’ve had to modify a lot, reduce how heavy I lift, use straps on certain movements to limit gripping, and just do the best I can. This isn’t strength training for my ego, it’s just getting in as much as I can without beating up my elbows in the process. At this time, I don’t do any traditional cardio.

Daily Movement: When I wore a smartwatch, I would average 7-8 miles a day just in steps at the studio. That includes racking and re-racking weights, and demoing exercises. I do tend to fidget a lot and I know it counts for something but I’m not overly concerned with how many calories I burn in a day. As mentioned above, there is no traditional cardio but I do get in plenty of steps.

Sleep: This is where things get interesting for me. I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune condition a little over a year ago and one of the primary symptoms is fatigue. I am tired often. While it’s functional and I can still get most everything I need to accomplished, I usually feel like I’m running at about 70% on a good day. Sleep is something I try to pay very close attention to and I try to practice as much good hygiene as I can. I am typically not on my phone close to bedtime and if there are any electronics that are on before I go to sleep, it might be the television and that’s it. I am normally asleep sometime between 8-830p and, as much as I hate to admit it, my body has been waking up anywhere between 2a-330a lately. While I “think” I’m getting decent sleep during that time, it is incredibly difficult for me to get a full 8 hours of sleep even though my alarm is set for 415a. Much of this is tied to the autoimmune condition and, according to my doctors, there isn’t much that I can do about it. That being said, we’re still experimenting with some medications and supplements to see if we can make any improvements.

Stress: Aside from the associated stress that comes along with the sleep challenges, most of the stress I have is the good kind. Work is going well, there are so many positive things happening right now, the boys are healthy, Marissa and I are about to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary, and life is pretty damn good. That being said, I do feel as if I have a lot of plates spinning right now. I would be remiss if I didn’t say that if you feel your stress is getting the best of you, having a therapist is probably a good place to get yourself centered. I talk to mine about once a month. I’m in a huge learning mode, so I’m in a business program that will last until the beginning of December, I’m roughly 80% through a continuing ed certification, and I’m re-reading my textbook on menopause even though I got certified three years ago, I feel as if I need a refresher on it. There is SO much to know about menopause, so it’s nice to go back through it again.

In reading back through my pillars, I’d say nutrition and movement are in a good place, my exercise is mediocre but I’m getting it done, sleep needs more attention and stress is high but not negatively so.

How about you?

What do your pillars say about your health at this moment in time?

(Photo courtesy of Mayer Tawfik)

Jake (not his real name) wants to lose about twenty pounds.

We talked about his lifestyle (mostly sedentary), and his current exercise regimen (little except for a daily 3-4 mile walk), and then I asked for a detailed 24-hour recall where he could walk me through everything he’d had to eat and drink over the past day.

He broke down his food which was relatively simple: two meals a day, one smaller and one larger, mostly nutritious options. It appeared to be an amount that would equate to a deficit for him.

He was pretty good with water intake and only had some black coffee in the morning.

“What about alcohol?” I asked.

Ah, well, I do like to have a drink or two each night after my wife goes to bed.

Is that every night?

Yes.

Do you know about how much you’re drinking (portion-wise?)

Hard to say. Sometimes I measure, sometimes I don’t. But I definitely drink every night.

Okay, no problem, I’ll never tell you not to drink. Only to consider that this might be a place to look at, especially since there tends to be some associated eating that happens with alcohol. Do you notice that as well?

Yeah, I mean, I do tend to snack a bit and this is when I’m trying to unwind. I also tend to go to bed late and then I have a tough time waking up early in the morning. Otherwise, I’d be able to train with you in the morning rather than the afternoon.

So, focusing on bringing the serving sizes down could accomplish one (or more) of a few things: you’re reducing calories because you’re being more mindful of the alcohol intake, you might also be cutting back on the snacks because you’re not drinking as much, and you might go to bed earlier, having more restful sleep, and you may feel more refreshed in the morning. Is it worth experimenting with?

Absolutely. I know the alcohol is empty calories and it’s probably not helping my anxiety or depression that much either. But I can definitely focus on cutting back. Do you think that’s the reason why I’ve not been seeing progress on the scale?

I think it’s a good place to start.

(Photo courtesy of Thomas Park)

This business program I’ve been in for the last two weeks is wrecking me (in a good way.)

We have about ten weeks left to go, and collectively, our team (6 of a total of 38 scholars) were complete mush after our last module.

The program is designed to help business owners take their respective businesses to the next level by exploring opportunities, risk, finances, legalities, and competition.

We were asked to imagine how we would grow our business if we were given a $50,000 check. They even gave us a fake check to write our name on so we could visualize it.

We drafted up designs and detailed how it would impact our growth.

A few minutes later, the speaker said: Now, imagine it’s $500,000.

Again, a check was brought around for us to write our name on.

I made the gym bigger, with more bells and whistles.

And a few minutes after that, the speaker said: Now, you’re being given $5,000,000.

Another check went around.

I built the gym bigger than I could properly imagine.

And by time it got there, it was a business I no longer wanted.

Sometimes, our goals can seem very similar.

We spend so much effort and time and energy and sweat equity on more strength, less fat, better bloodwork, appropriate VO2 max, etc. that we can lose sight of who we are in the process.

Because all of that effort doesn’t just affect us, it affects those around us, too.

I never want to take someone’s goals away from them and I have all the respect in the world for big, scary, uncomfortable goals.

But the question I’d like you to ask, as you’re doing all of this self improvement is: at what point will I be happy?

For me, I do want to grow this business because I know its potential, but that growth is likely not on a 10x scale, it’s very likely much smaller.

Because one of the things I love the most about this business is a certain degree of intimacy that keeps the community close but also keeps the relationships close as well.

If we get too big, we run the risk of losing both.

So, it’s not just about how big RevFit can get, it’s how big it can become without selling our souls in the process.

Go after your goals.

Go after better health.

Go after strength and strong bones.

Just don’t lose the bits that make you uniquely you.

(Photo courtesy of Tom Allport)

If you’ve ever been to RevFit on a Saturday morning, you’ve likely seen the competitive nature of Gina and her son and daughter (respectively), Dominic and Julia.

It’s all in good fun of course, as Gina likes to remind her kids that she can still run the show if they want to compete against her.

And while Dominic can outlift his mother, there is still a lot of affectionate trash-talking when it comes to how each of them performs in the gym.

As anyone who’s been involved in fitness can attest to, some days you win against the weights, and some days the weights win against you.

One thing we’ve noticed over the years they’ve been with us, is that each of them (and they’re not alone with this), has a distinct mental attitude around lifting.

We’ve watched Dominic not be able to complete a deadlift well-south of his personal best, only to get himself so amped up, that he can pull hundreds of pounds more than what was not moving only minutes before.

Granted, some days, it is purely physical. The body is too tired, or not well-fueled, or recovering from illness, etc.

But “most” of the time, it’s a mind game.

Most recently, both Julia and Gina have been trying to get their next personal best on the trapbar deadlift.

Gina’s current record is 305, aiming for 310.

Julia had been at 270, aiming for 275.

As you can see, the princess has her sights set on passing up the queen for bragging rights around the household.

One Saturday, Gina started her lift first and as she was scaling up that day, each of her lifts were looking solid.

We set the weight up to 285 and she couldn’t budge it.

She walked away from it, tried again, nothing.

So, she took her weight belt off, and continued with the rest of her workout.

Julia was up next and we did a steady build up for her, as well.

This was a particularly sharp day for her.

We loaded the bar for 275 and she nailed it.

We added 5 more pounds to push for 280 and she got that one, too.

We added another 5 pounds to match the weight that Gina had just attempted and I told her: You know, if you hit this, it’s the same weight that your mom had to bail on.

Julia stepped back in the bar and…nothing. No movement.

She tried again, same result.

Gina put her belt back on, walked in to the bar, and tore 285 off the ground.

Sometimes, we just need a fire under our asses to perform.

And on that day, Gina just needed to see that her daughter was closing the gap to get her mind back on task.

Of course, strength training isn’t “all” mental. Some days, the focus and the energy are there, but the body just doesn’t do what it’s supposed to.

But when we think about all the things we want to try and influence in making progress with our bodies, with our health, and against our goals, the mind can be a wildly powerful tool to use.

As Henry Ford has been credited for saying: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

My loving suggestion to you this week is to look at the ways your mind guides you, and the way your mind stands in your way.

Consider the ways you speak about yourself: silently, too yourself or loudly, to others.

Are those words true or are you crafting a narrative that needs attention?

We often talk to and about ourselves based on stories others have told us: stories of success, of failure, of redemption, and of despair.

And whatever story we allow to tell ourselves on a loop can be informative, can be persuasive, and can be completely incorrect.

Remember that the brain adapts and you can form new patterns of thought towards something more encouraging.

Sometimes, it’s work you can do on your own, sometimes you need a coach, and sometimes you need a therapist.

Just as Gina and Dominic and Julia have benefited from the right mindset around what their bodies are capable of, the brain can play strange tricks to make you think: Not today you won’t…

The right mindset doesn’t guarantee success, but it can inspire more positive outcomes than negative ones.

Be flexible, be patient, be persistent, but most of all, be kind with the way you allow your brain to work for you.

The goals you set for yourself may take time, physical fortitude, and patience but how you perceive them, well, it’s all mental.

Recently, I was speaking with my therapist, Charlotte, and it was one of those conversations where I felt as if there was nothing pressing to talk about.

There was no major drama happening in work or life, no traumatic events, and no vulnerable areas I needed to work through.

Everything felt “good”.

With just one nagging little thought in my mind, and it’s one that I think many people can relate to: Why does it feel like, at any moment, the rug’s going to get pulled out from underneath me or that I’m waiting for another shoe to drop?

It’s as if, success or happiness is so fleeting and so temporary that I’m waiting for the next catastrophe to hit.

And as I told the story to Charlotte, I had read once (and have experienced), the feeling that when all is going well, some people just self-sabotage the good in their lives because, deep down, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the happiness or success that they have.

She admitted that the sentiment is very much “a thing.”

And she pushed back on me to redefine what success means to me.

So, this week, I’m attempting to do that with the hopes that you’ll take a few moments and work through the exercise yourself.

Work: As of this writing, RevFit is going great. 2026 has been an exceptional year for us, and that’s saying a lot when we’ve been in business for over 17 years. Success with work is about more than revenue or profits, though. It’s about the feel of the community, the “vibe” during training sessions, and being a spectator to the conversations between clients. It’s about how the staff is connected to the business, if they feel supported, if what they do at the studio is complementary to the goals they have in their lives. Success is also about if the service we offer is quantitatively and qualitatively improving the lives of the people who belong to the studio.

Family: Success with family is about the time we spend together, whether we’re cooking, cleaning, talking, listening, or enjoying leisure time together. It’s watching the boys grow and evolve with school. Do they have access to a good education? Do they feel seen, heard, and cared for? Success is about how we get through tough and sensitive conversations. If we disagree, can we do so respectfully? If there is turmoil, can it be overcome effectively? It’s managing health, aging, and the world around us.

Finances: Success is our ability to afford necessities, it’s our way of reducing and/or eliminating debt. It’s a way that we can have candid conversations about the ebb and flow of income versus expenses and how different times of a month or of a year impact what we are able to provide for one another.

Marriage: Success isn’t just about how long we’ve been together as we celebrate each year of marriage. It’s about honoring and recognizing who we are, who we’ve become, how life, health, parenting, and stress affect how we walk side by side with each other. It’s maturing with one another and grasping how each new year brings it’s own set of challenges both mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially.

Health: Success is managing how our bodies feel, both with what we can see versus what’s happening inside us. It’s being able to stay up with bloodwork, doctor’s appointments, medications, and attitudes around our imperfect bodies. It’s about accepting physical limitations, pivoting towards how to make the best of less than ideal circumstances, and having a flexible mindset around what we can change and what we can’t. It’s embracing what we have now, because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring us.

And these are just some of my random thoughts around success, not at all exhaustive. I don’t know how you will define it for yourself and how you measure what’s working and not working for you.

What I would ask of you, is to write down the areas of your life that matter most to you. You don’t have to follow my template. This exercise took me about 20-30 minutes to complete and I hope that you can carve out a similar amount of time for yourself to do the same.

Because what qualifies as success now, may look very different five years from now.

And if you won’t want to fall in the trap that myself and others have fallen into, it probably helps to get a sense of grounding around what matters, why it matters, and what you’re going to do to influence it.

(Photo courtesy of Nicholas Sampson)

Last year, I enrolled in a certification course that would expand some of my nutrition knowledge.

I knew it would be challenging and that was part of the interest in learning that aspect of how our bodies react to the nutrients we give it.

And while it has been an interesting course, it has also pushed me far outside of my comfort zone because so much of it has to do with the brain.

I was making good progress in the course until I got sidelined by Lyme disease late last year and I just couldn’t focus on the course at that time.

Every time I would sign back in to the program, I felt the need to start all over again because I wasn’t retaining the information.

In the meantime, work has been getting busier (a great thing to see) and the course kept ending up on the backburner.

It was easy for me to fill my available time with pleasure activities like audiobooks, music, podcasts, etc.; basically, “easy” things to do instead of the “difficult” coursework.

Fast forward almost a year, and I’ve just been accepted into a business program designed to help me look at the strengths and weaknesses of RevFit to see how I can take the business the next step forward.

That program will last 12 weeks and will require me to step outside of the studio one day each week to be in a classroom with other business owners looking to do the same thing for their respective businesses.

And, of course, this will be one more place in my life that’s potentially taking my attention away from the continuing education course I started last year.

The problem is, I only have so much time to complete the coursework before I start paying additional fees to extend the timeline.

So now, it’s an effort to shift my priorities less around the pleasurable, easy activities and put more time into both the certification and the business program.

And I only have myself to blame for dragging my feet this long.

Nevertheless, it’s been an eye-opening fire under my ass to finish my commitments.

Recently, a client of mine and I were talking about things we needed to do for ourselves: the difficult, uncomfortable things.

For my client, they’re going down the road of therapy. In our conversations together, they realized that after a lifetime of taking care of other people’s needs over taking care of themselves, mental health was, let’s say “compromised.”

And in our conversations, therapy has opened a lot of doors that my client was not mentally prepared to open or walk through…the difficult tasks that therapy so often asks of us.

It all seemed so timely.

We tend to forget that the difficult tasks in front of us are often the ones we need to focus on the most.

Instead, we vanish into other tasks, distractions, and/or pleasurable activities instead of putting time and effort into the uncomfortable bits that can actually transform where we are now into where we ultimately want to be.

And for some people, the difficult thing might look like:

-Getting consistent with a workout regimen

-Having sensitive conversations with a loved one.

-Leaving a toxic job.

-Leaving a toxic relationship.

-Talking to a therapist.

-Adhering to a food plan.

-Establishing boundaries amongst your support system.

My ask of you this week is to take a look at the places in your life that you’ve been avoiding; the places of discomfort, the places you might otherwise avoid, delay, or hope might resolve on their own.

And find where you need to focus, prioritize, pay attention to, process, reflect on, and work through, to do the difficult things.

Because if we don’t actually do them, who will?

(Photo courtesy of Ian Chen)