A few months ago, psychologist Dr. Lisa Lewis and I were speaking on my podcast. She was referencing Tara Brach’s popular book “Radical Acceptance” when it comes to how we view the food we eat as it relates to our goals.
While simplified, Dr. Lisa remarked that radical acceptance is the ability to say “It isn’t fair” as well as “It is what it is”.
I have thought a lot about those words since that conversation and I wanted to draw out a list of some of the most common things I hear with regard to the unfairness of the foods we eat and the circumstances under which they affect us.
It’s my hope for you that you’ll take a cue from this lesson of radical acceptance to change how you view food and exercise.
-It isn’t fair that I only have 1300 calories to eat just to be able to lose weight.
-It isn’t fair that my husband can cut out beer for a week and can lose 6 pounds when I have to cut out wine for a month to see the same results.
-It isn’t fair that the diet that worked for me in my 20s no longer works for me in my 50s.
-It isn’t fair that I have to work out 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week to see changes in my body.
-It isn’t fair that my diabetes forces me to eat differently.
-It isn’t fair that my injuries take longer to recover from.
-It isn’t fair that my hormones affect my cravings.
-It isn’t fair that menopause affects my sleep, my mood and my ability to stick with a diet.
-It isn’t fair that my neighbor lost 30 pounds on the keto diet and I only lost 8.
-It isn’t fair that I have to take medication for my cholesterol/high blood pressure.
-It isn’t fair that my thyroid isn’t normal.
-It isn’t fair that I have so much loose skin under my arm.
-It isn’t fair that I have love handles.
-It isn’t fair that my spouse brings home cookies and chips and I can’t have them because I’m trying to watch my weight.
-It isn’t fair that my genetics make it harder for me to lose weight.
-It isn’t fair that I have PCOS/IBS/Hashimoto’s/Crohn’s Disease
-It isn’t fair that foods which used to agree with my body now make me sick.
I could make the list longer, but chances are, you’ve said some of these things to yourself and to others before.
When you take Brach’s perspective (as translated through Dr. Lisa), you can look at any of these concerns and add…but it is what it is…
There are many avenues with which to take your training and your diet that can benefit your life and often, the biggest obstacle is simply accepting your realities and understanding what you can change versus what you can’t.
Accept the areas that are less than ideal for you as it relates to your goals. Take any of these statements in this list to reframe with the words “it is what it is” and see how your behavior changes as a result.
Your life is not static, it is dynamic and your individual circumstances change on a daily, and weekly, and monthly, and yearly basis.
Focus carefully and attentively to what you can change and start shifting your energy there.
Kate Galliett is back with me for Part 2 in our 4-Part series together. In this episode, we talk about how to be more aware and respectful of the pain that we’re feeling. Kate walks through a process (also detailed in her upcoming book, “Becoming Unbreakable”, where you can take a step-by-step approach to understanding what pain you’re experiencing, how to work around it and the variety of treatment options depending on the severity of the pain.
Make a commitment to be kinder to yourself and others in 2022.
If you get sideways on your diet, forgive yourself and move on. There’s another meal coming shortly thereafter where you can right the course again. The words you use to berate yourself for a less than ideal choice of food or portion of food can send you down a path that could take days to recover from. This is a simple kindness to make.
If you don’t make it to the gym all three days that you told yourself you would, remind yourself that it’s fine. Two days is better than zero and you can try again next week or you can try different days than what you previously had planned. Do the best you can with what you have time for and practice that kindness frequently.
Don’t argue with strangers on the internet. You’ll never get that time back. If that person you’re going back and forth with doesn’t pay your bills or help you raise your family, you’re letting them take up too much space in your mind. Chances are that stranger needs a dose of kindness, too.
Be punctual. If you don’t respect your time, you’re probably not respecting the time of others either. That kindness goes both ways.
The Coronavirus isn’t the only thing to be concerned over. I just lost two people I’ve known for most of my life just before Christmas. One to a drug overdose and one to suicide. If that doesn’t scare you, it should. Be kind to others. The unkind word you say to someone (on the internet or otherwise) could be the last words they hear.
Remember that perfection only sounds good on paper. In real life, progress (even miniscule progress) is everything. Progress is a kindness.
You are allowed, (let me write that again), you are allowed to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself.
Find joy in simple pleasures. Find joy in others. Create kindness where you don’t see it.
Social media is not your therapist. Your therapist is your therapist. Erase that post you were about to blow out into the world and save it for your therapist (which is why you hired them). That’s kindness to yourself and others.
Make commitments to yourself that you have a greater likelihood of keeping. Look at your current life commitments: obligations to work and family as well as your current goals. Look at where you have gaps to create successful moves. When are you less busy? Are those days/times fixed each week or do they change from week to week? Find the gaps, plug in your steps towards goals there (the days or times you’ll prep a meal, the days or times when you’ll train, how you’ll streamline your sleep schedule). Be kind to yourself when it doesn’t go as planned. Pivot and modify on the fly.
Get better at saying “No”. Your first commitment is to yourself, a healthier version of yourself. If you can’t take care of you, you can’t take care of others. This is a kindness.
Keep your sleep schedule as consistent as possible. If you want to improve dietary adherence, reduce cravings, and recover better from your workouts, your sleep is one of the biggest factors to get in control of. If need be, get ear plugs and black out curtains. I can’t possibly overstate the importance of your sleep. A well-rested you is a kinder you. You deserve that…
Watch.The.Way.You.Talk.About.Your.Body. How you feel about yourself informs how you eat and how you train. Pick your verbiage wisely. This is a kindness.
If you want 2022 to be different from any year prior to it, you need to be different.
Choose your kindness, then act on it, enforce it and set boundaries around it.
I’m very excited to welcome back Kate Galliett to the show for our next 4-part series. Kate was previously on Episodes #123 and #272. This time, we’re reconnecting initially in promotion of her new book “Becoming Unbreakable” which we’ll be chatting about throughout the series but our first episode actually takes a few steps back. Kate and I talk a little bit about our origin stories into this industry and how the way we treated our bodies and evolved with them has shaped the way we coach.
Here we are nearing another end of year and 2021 showed only certain differences from 2020. I won’t go too far down any COVID rabbit holes except to say that we are still “dealing with it”. I, myself, had a breakthrough case this year which was anything but pleasant and I’m glad to be on the other side of it.
As for RevFit, we continued our trajectory over last year and I can say, happily, that 2021 was our best year ever. To every single person, client and coach, who made that happen, thank you. I certainly could not have done this on my own.
So, as I’ve been known to do at year-end, here’s my annual list: My Top 5 most downloaded episodes of Revolutionary You, the podcasts I was featured as a guest on, my Top 5 most read articles, and all of the books I consumed in 2021.
The Top 5 Most Downloaded Episodes Of Revolutionary You in 2021
I took my podcast in a different direction this year after my milestone 300th episode. I wanted to challenge myself as a host and I wanted to highlight more of my guests. As a result, I pivoted the show to 4-part miniseries. With the exception of a 4-part client spotlight, each segment featured coaches and health professionals for 4 episodes in a row to give you the topics they were most passionate speaking on. I’m not sure how far I’ll take the direction, but I’ve enjoyed the change of pace and I can see myself doing this up until at least episode 400 and then I’ll decide where to go after that. Here are the Top 5 most downloaded of this year:
I wrap up this 4-part series with Dr. Susan Kleiner this week on a fascinating topic regarding nutrition. In this episode, we talk about how the food we eat affects not just our bodies but our moods and our performance. Dr. Sue offers an example of an elite athlete she had the privilege of working with in efforts to highlight how our diets affect not just the way our bodies move but how brain function and emotions are affected as well. This is a highly recommended episode and series!
Maybe it’s because I’ve been speaking about this with a couple of my coaches lately who are each trying to build their own coaching businesses up, but I wanted to take some time to write about how I’ve marketed my business.
I began marketing RevFit on social media, and specifically on Facebook in 2016. I had already been in business for 7 years and nearly all of my leads for new clients up to that point had been through face-to-face interactions, business to business (B2B) networking groups and word of mouth referrals.
I didn’t understand how to use Facebook for marketing beyond having someone do graphics work for me and then pay Facebook for ad exposure.
At the time, it wasn’t money I was certain would present a good return on investment for me and I didn’t have a great deal of discretionary income to put that direction anyway.
It somewhat innocently began when I posted some pictures of our Richard B., (we’ve always affectionately him called “King Richard”) who was 75 when he started and is now 81 and still training with us.
Richard was training with battle ropes and the trapbar deadlift and everyone who watched him was inspired by him.
I would post pictures of Richard training, post them on my personal wall on Facebook (privately not publicly) and then tag him.
Over time, it not only brought attention to my wall but Richard’s friends would comment outside of his gym time about the work he was doing. It was getting my business name out there, slowly but surely.
Then, I started posting pictures of clients who were succeeding with their weight loss goals. The same system would apply: take the picture, post the picture, tag the client, get the post engagement. Rinse and repeat.
It didn’t take a lot of time, it was fun to do, I got to brag about my clients, and, it was free.
Fast forward six years, and I’m still aggressively marketing my business and the work we do in a similar, but different way.
I post personal bests on the big lifts (assuming that I have the permission of the client), weight loss success and random “quotables” that clients say during their training sessions.
Typically, the quotes are intended to be humorous and since there are many things that a client might say in a workout that has sexual innuendo, it’s good for a laugh. Some of the quotes are inspiring, some risqué, and some can be taken however the reader finds them (especially when presented without context).
There’s a risk in posting some of them because there is always a chance that the quote might offend someone, which is never the intended effect but a possibility. Of course, I could edit them more but I feel it shows a true glimpse of conversations that actually happen in the gym and people can determine if it suits their flavor or not.
One thing is certain: we train people of all variety of backgrounds/upbringings, political/religious affiliations and romantic preferences. Everyone is welcome which means that there is a wide array of personality dynamics and I try to highlight many of them. I consider us fortunate that we can cater to as many people as we do and as diverse as they are, we embrace all of them.
As a result of what’s been termed as my “relentless” posting on social media, we generally attract people who want to lose fat in a sustainable and fad free way, we attract people who value getting strong and we attract people who want a smaller, “boutique” environment to train in.
Because my business is, and always has been, frequented by at least a 65% female demographic, we’ve attracted the women, especially moms, who want to regain their sense of self, their sense of strength and their sense of confidence. In many cases, they bring their spouses and/or their children to come train here as well.
As far as what else we might attract, I’ll reference something that happened in 2020 (leading into 2021) as an example.
Late in 2020, there was a spike in our area of the coronavirus and this was prior to vaccinations being available. I made a judgment call based on the perceived anxiety levels of my clients and opted to mandate masks for our facility, something I had declined to do when we were allowed to reopen after the initial lockdown.
I wasn’t entirely sure what would happen but within a couple of days of the mandate, I had a very small handful of clients who declined to train with us while the mandate was up. It was disappointing but I respected the decision.
And then, something unusual happened.
We got A LOT busier.
You see, despite the mandate, I kept the marketing up and so, in each picture, you would see clients showing off their weight loss success or hitting a personal record, and everyone was wearing a mask.
I believe, and I could be wrong, that it attracted more people to the gym who wanted a place they could go that was enforcing the masks. When I dropped the mandate, membership continued to climb and some of the clients who initially left came back in with us.
Now, allow me to share with you a time when my marketing effectively “lost” a client.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been posting in one of my closed communities and on Instagram, the meals that my wife and I eat for dinner. Marissa and I are both bourbon/rye fans and I will typically post what we’re enjoying that night. Part of the inspiration to do so was to 1) show my clients what the dinners look like in our household 2) how we moderate our alcohol consumption.
I know that many of my clients partake and my wife and I have bourbon as a complement to the meal, not for the goal of getting drunk or carried away with alcohol.
I have routinely attracted clients to the studio who are actively in recovery for either drugs, or alcohol or both. Part of this is because of my own history as a recovering drug addict (I’ve been clean since 2006). I understand addiction as it has been a very real aspect to my life. Alcohol has never had the same effect on me that drugs did and measuring what we drink is how I maintain things to not get out of control for me.
That being said, not every person who has struggled with substance abuse can say the same. In the words of one of my clients: “I know that one will turn to several and I can’t afford for that to happen.”
I completely understand that.
On one occasion, I had consulted with a potential client who mentioned that they were in recovery. I will typically reference my own past with drugs as a way to establish a common bond and I will also normally ask if it’s triggering for them to see the posts I make with our food and drink of choice. I failed to do the latter with this particular client and after they decided to join, I added them into our closed community.
Unfortunately, the posts were indeed triggering for this individual and they decided to no longer be a part of what we do here. I apologized for any negative experience I gave them and respected their decision. I know that every person in recovery has to forge their own path, as I did for mine. It’s my hope that some day, they might feel comfortable to rejoin us but I am not certain it will happen.
After all of these years of experimenting with how I market the business, I know that what I do works and it works very well. It has remained a free source of advertising for us and I handle all of the marketing myself. Like a lot of things, it’s a slow burn to success but I’m willing to put the time in because I’m proud of what this business and my clients have accomplished, and I am more than happy to put that out into the world.
When I give advice to my coaches, I remind them that how they approach their marketing can work in a similar fashion.
Namely:
–Be willing to try new things and gauge the response.
–Be flexible to change course if you feel that something doesn’t resonate with your intended audience.
–Be genuine, be human, and learn, to the best of your ability, how to market to your desired demographic.
–Be relentless (or aggressively consistent).
–Have fun. If it’s not fun, you won’t stick with it.
Come to think of it…edit just a few words on each of those bullet points (and ignore #3) and you’ve got a pretty good plan for your health, your diet and your training plan. 🙂
Dr. Susan Kleiner is back with me for the third part in our 4-part series together. In this episode, we talk about the differences in knowledge and application of when a registered dietitian would be utilized for the needs of a client versus a nutrition coach and the vast disparity of education that happens between these two options. We also chat about the inclusion of nutritionists who might fall in between these two distinctions (of RD and coach).
In the 2nd part of my 4-part series with Dr. Susan Kleiner, we take a look at how macros have taken over the conversation regarding food. Dr. Sue and I talk about the nuance in that conversation and where it can be perceived as a reductionist view of what we eat. She talks about when it’s appropriate to take a micro-look at food and when simple principles work better for the general population.
Jason Leenaarts 