Eleven years…

Marissa and I will be celebrating eleven years of marriage this week.

Several months ago, we were invited to join two other couples (shout out to Audrey, Sean, Keon and Rachel) for a photo shoot at a restaurant.

The photos were going to be among a selection of shots to be used for a travel guide, detailing spots to visit and places to dine at, in and around Canton, Ohio.

Our location that evening was Social At The Stone House.

We were encouraged to bring more than one outfit for the evening, and I normally have to prepare for the fact that my wife can outdress me any day of the week.

I just have to do my best to keep up.

This particular night, Marissa had more than one argument with her closet (something I’m sure no other woman can relate to), but she found a few dresses to bring along.

Fortunately for her, the one she came in with got some great comments from the photographer and the art director so she kept that dress going for the night.

Each couple took turns in the bar, with a variety of poses, and a selection of drinks.

We were given instructions where to look, when to smile, what to imagine, anything that would make the pictures do justice to the location.

Afterwards, we were brought into a private dining area for more shots of us being served with dinner, more drinks, and different angles of us enjoying our meals.

Early on, in the bar, I caught a glimpse in my wife’s eyes and I can struggle to put it into words…

I think back to every vacation we’ve been on, every unforgettable experience we’ve shared, every bit of joy we’ve been photographed with, and some experiences go well beyond a price tag.

They’re about a feeling.

And this night in particular was very much about a feeling.

There are those moments when you look at the person you’ve committed your life to and remind yourself: Yes, this is why I adore you.

It wasn’t just the dress, although whenever I’ve seen her wear it, it never fails her.

It wasn’t just the limelight of the photography and the couples we were enjoying the night with.

It wasn’t just having delicious drinks and delicious food served our way.

It was where my wife could, for just a bit, forget about the stresses of life and just be in that moment.

And the look in her eyes was out of this world.

And I reminded myself…yes, this is why I adore you.

I was so taken with my wife right then, that when I had the chance to speak to the art director later on, I thanked her profusely.

There are some feelings and some moments that no amount of planning and expectation can give you, they just happen.

And when they do, it’s up to all of us to capture those moments, cherish those moments and do what we can to never forget them.

So I have some thanks to give out.

First to Jessa Hendershot, our art director and the owner of Root & Folio. I encourage you to look up her work and she how she can help you. Thank you, Jessa for being part of the inspiration for how and why my wife lit up my world that evening.

Second, I want to thank Megann Galehouse of Lady Luck Studio for capturing all of those moments. The picture below is one of many I remember that will help me keep my memory of my wife that night for posterity. Give Megann a follow and see how she can help you.

Third, a special thank you to the staff at Social At The Stone House. The food, drinks and atmosphere were exceptional.

Lastly, to the woman who I’ve had the fortune to call my wife for eleven years. Here’s to many more memories, planned and otherwise, that remind each of us how we made it this far.

Happy Anniversary, Mrs.

I saw a post on Instagram recently, offering “Eights Snacks Nutritionists Swear By For Gut Health.”

It was a post that went viral and I do have to give it credit because each of the snacks had a reasonable amount of calories, some protein and some fiber in them.

You’ve heard me say a lot about protein on this site, and fiber is arguably just as important but for different reasons.

I believe if you can hit your protein ranges and fiber ranges, you’ll be well on your way to a healthier version of you.

However, because I took the time to discuss low FODMAP options on this site last year and more recently, this year, I offered a spin on the original post to highlight where those same snacks could be problematic for those who struggle with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or IBD (inflammatory bowel disease.)

Here are the eight snacks they referenced. I’ll set in bold the ingredients that might be problematic for those struggling with IBS/IBD and offer alternatives that might be better. If you want to see actual portion sizes to make these snacks, please check out the original post.

Fiber Chocolate Chip Cookies: Almond Flour (try rice flour, buckwheat flour or oat flour), Flaxseed, Butter, Maple Syrup, Egg, Dark Chocolate Chips

Sauerkraut Hummus Wrap: Whole Wheat Tortilla (try corn tortillas), Hummus (try a carrot-based dip with mashed carrots, tahini, lemon juice and cumin), Sauerkraut (try fermented red cabbage), Shredded Carrots, Spinach

Kefir Smoothie Bowl: Kefir (try a lactose free variation), Mango (try papaya or pineapple), Chia Seeds, Shredded Coconut

Mediterranean Chickpea Salad: Chickpeas (try lentils or edamame), Cucumber, Tomatoes (try red bell peppers), Olive Oil, Dill

Kimchi Rice Cakes: Rice Cakes, Kimchi (try fermented red cabbage), Cottage Cheese (try lactose free), Sesame Seeds

Probiotic Berry Parfait: Greek Yogurt (try soy or coconut yogurt), Mixed Berries (blueberries and raspberries are okay but blackberries or strawberries may be problematic), Honey (try maple syrup), Pistachios (try sunflower seeds or chia seeds)

Apple Tahini Bites: Apple (try an unripe banana), Tahini, Cacao Nibs, Hemp Hearts

Sardine Avocado Toast: Sourdough Bread (try rye, oat or kamut variations), Sardines, Avocado (try tahini paste), Lemon Juice, Sea Salt

As always, it’s important to note that every person struggling with IBS/IBD will have different dietary triggers. Some people may have to do complete eliminations of certain foods and some people can tolerate small amounts.

I defer to the excellent low FODMAP app by Monash so that you can see the list of red light, yellow light and green light foods as well as finding alternatives to foods you normally like but need a safer option for.

It does take some trial and error to get it all right but unfortunately, not all snacks that are good for gut health are universally good for all.

(Photo courtesy of Heather Ford)

As we’ve nestled comfortably into fall temperatures in Northeast Ohio, my wife and I have been making our way through many of the hikes and trails the state has to offer.

In 2023, around the time of our wedding anniversary (and her birthday), we took a trip to Hocking Hills with our youngest, Sebastian, to see the trails in that area.

That was my first real experience getting a grasp on hiking in the state and I’ve been growing more and more fond of it ever since then.

To that, we’ll be heading back to the area this year to commemorate the same events and to soak in some more of the environment.

For Marissa and I, especially this year, being on the trails together isn’t just about the movement practice (although it definitely helps). It’s about time to catch up, talk through issues we’re thinking about (personally and professionally), and to just “be” together.

I find myself keeping this practice at the forefront of a lot of my conversations lately because I drastically underestimated how beneficial it would and could be.

In a day and time where the cost of basically everything is increasing, walking nearby trails is 100% free of charge. All it costs is the gas to get to and from the location of choice.

So, if you find yourself getting stressed out about any number of things that might be bogging you down right now, I’d encourage to start hitting the trails.

Be aware that some trails have not only greater distance to cover but may have more difficult terrain, so if you struggle with ankle, knee, hip or back issues, you may want to scope out the ratings of the trail(s) before you hit them.

If you live in the general area, two trails of note that we both found surprisingly fun to cover: The Ledges at Liberty Park (in Twinsburg) and Piney Woods in Goodyear Heights (Akron.)

Many Ohio natives are not new to the game when it comes to this information, many of whom have been involved in the hiking sprees that the county offers each year.

But for me, I feel like I’m still in my infancy. It’s been arguably one of the best things I’ve done for my mental health, stress relief, relationship bonding, and just appreciating the world around me.

The latter becoming more and more of a lost art these days…

I’d like to share with you a little bit about where I “come from.”

I am the son of a father who was a Dutch immigrant.

I am the son of a mother who was born in the south (Tennessee, to be exact.)

My father’s father was Dutch and my father’s mother was born a non-practicing German Jew.

She and her parents were captured by the Nazis during WWII, her parents were killed and she served in somewhere between 13-14 different concentration camps up until Hitler died and she was rescued.

Later, she became Catholic to marry my Opa.

On my mother’s side, you only have to go back so far to see that it wasn’t that long ago that we had people of a different color working for the family. My great aunts and uncles had crops of soy and cotton fields.

Also on my mother’s side, you’d find that we have proximity to the Chickasaw Indians.

Suffice to say, there were things that happened on both sides of my family where history as we know it, was not kind.

Nevertheless, I was raised by people who taught me not to hate:

Not to hate people of a different color.

Not to hate people of a different religion.

Not to hate people of a different sexual preference.

Not to hate people of a different political party.

And not just to be without hatred, but to be with them from a place of learning, of understanding, of listening, and of accepting.

I am of a generation where we (as children) thought it was funny to insult people with words like retard and f*ggot.

I am of a generation where we (as children) thought it was funny to tell jokes about the Jewish community, the Polish community, and the queer community.

I am not above juvenile humor but some things that I used to find funny, just aren’t anymore and you’re not going to hear me use the words retard or f*ggot to describe, much less insult, anyone.

I was raised in a God-fearing home but God was not a weapon in our home.

Nor was the bible.

I take these nearly fifty years of lessons to embrace my brothers and sisters who are BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People Of Color).

I take these nearly fifty years of lessons to embrace my brothers and sisters who are LGBTQIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual).

I keep at distance people who lead with hate, people who lead with violence, and especially, people who hurt children.

I am a survivor of childhood trauma.

Children must be kept safe.

I never thought I would live to see the day where I would fear sending my boys to school.

Both of my boys go to private schools and I understand that they are never truly safe.

Not in this world.

On that, I have very little opinion about guns.

I respect that people like to hunt and feel the need to protect their homes.

I respect that hunting is just as much an American pastime as fishing or football.

I just have some questions…

Why are our schools being shot up?

Why are our children not safe?

What world are we leaving to our children if we cannot keep them safe?

These sentiments are expressed for the children of Charlie Kirk.

And also for the siblings of Tyler Robinson.

I watched as social media was set ablaze last week and both left and right parties were guilty of truly awful sentiments.

Both parties.

Both with violence, both with hatred, both with vengeance and retribution.

We’re leaving a world behind that is dragging us further and further away from hope.

I won’t teach my sons to hate.

I won’t teach them to be disrespectful.

I won’t teach them to use scripture as a way to belittle people.

I won’t be able to control their every move and all of their intention.

But they won’t learn hate in our home.

Not because we’re perfect parents or perfect people, but because we hold space and respect for people of all kinds, races, beliefs, cultures, and socio-economic standings.

I sit here and ask myself, as I ask you, what is more important: that we teach our children how to shoot or that we equip our children with mental health professionals?

I work with and have the utmost respect for members of the police force, trained to protect us.

I work with and have the utmost respect for the veterans who served to protect our country.

I know that we cannot live in a world without their sacrifices.

I saw a lot of people praying for Charlie Kirk and the family left behind.

I didn’t see as many people praying for the school that was shot up by a young man allegedly tied to anti-semitic groups.

Why aren’t these prayer warriors praying for all of this in equal measure?

I don’t have answers, I just have a head full of thoughts.

…I feel as if there’s a strange connection between people who aren’t accepted and understood, who then lash out to attack others.

And that, there’s an equally strange thing that happens where an individual, rather than seeking to be understood, says to themselves, in their darkest hours: I don’t want to be accepted, I want to live in infamy.

And social media makes it so.

I want to understand a world where people approach others with a bible in one hand, a shotgun in the other and expect to be met with kindness.

We have an obligation to keep our children safe.

Whether you’re a parent or not, our children inherit the world we leave for them.

So, what world are we leaving them and when you look in the mirror, are you happy with the direction it’s heading?

And lastly, I know there are gaps in my opinions and gaps in my understanding of the world around me. I hold my door open to hear your thoughts, not to fight with you but to understand you.

I hope that, at the very least, we can agree that hatred has gone too far.

(Photo courtesy of Shane Rounce)

I was responding to someone on social media last week about protein intake and it reminded me of some obstacles that people may encounter when they’re trying to figure out how much to consume, where to fit it into the diet and possible troubleshooting along the way.

Without getting too far into the science with it, protein is made up of essential and non-essential amino acids. Those amino acids are commonly referred to as the “building blocks” of muscle.

To that, high(er) protein intakes are associated with improved immune function, increased feelings of fullness and satiety, and assist with the rebuilding and repair of muscle. The last part being a crucial element if you favor strength training.

Throughout the years, I’ve often given loose guidelines for protein ranges where 100-120g per day would be “ideal” for individuals in smaller bodies and 130g-150g per day would be “ideal” for individuals in larger bodies. You’ll find more precise equations elsewhere on the internet but I’m simplifying here and not factoring in bodybuilders.

While these ranges are not set in stone and do allow for flexibility above or slightly below those ranges, this is where I often see my clients falling into a good rhythm, especially if they’re trying to lose fat as well.

With so many people taking GLP-1 receptor agonist medications for fat loss, protein is not just preferred, it’s essential to helping maintain lean muscle assuming that the person taking the medication is also prioritizing strength training on their fat loss journey.

However, it’s not uncommon to hear clients struggle to meet those ranges, especially if they’re not accustomed to focusing on that part of their diet.

I’ve seen that many women, when they first come to consult with me, are averaging around 50-60g per day. If I were trying to increase that number to get closer to the 100-120g per day range, a very simple addition is a premixed protein shake (like Premier Protein, Core Life, Muscle Milk, OWYN, etc.) which carry upwards of 30g in each container (and roughly 160 calories or slightly higher).

The whey based protein options can be problematic for those who don’t tolerate lactose or dairy products well. In that case, plant-based options like OWYN or Orgain may be a better fit for the digestive system.

Other points of consideration is when we look at what sources of food provide the most bang for the buck when it comes to grams of protein per serving.

Take for example 1 serving of peanut butter which is usually 2 TBSP and nearly 190 calories. You might find 6-8g of protein in that.

By comparison, 4 ounces of boneless skinless chicken breast is 125 calories and just over 30g of protein.

For many vegans and vegetarians, some amount of protein can be found in grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, and some vegetables. Soy is often utilized in tofu, edamame, powder, or yogurt to help boost the macronutrient up.

I’ve found many vegans turn to legumes to increase protein and while the source is of good quality, there is also the increase of carbs and fiber with legumes. If fiber is increased too quickly, it can lead to GI distress and discomfort.

On the flip side, those who turn to low carb, keto and carnivore diets may be reducing carbohydrates to such a drastic low that the lack of fiber in their diets can also lead to GI distress.

If you’re in the senior population, it’s not only that you need to keep protein intake relatively high, but your body is not as efficient at metabolizing protein as you age. To counteract that, you may need one meal a day with a significantly higher amount of protein (think 50-60g in one meal.)

Breakfast can often be a place where people struggle to increase protein intake. Eggs, while a good source, only pack 6-8g per egg. Other breakfast foods like bacon or sausage contain protein but they aren’t lean options. Saturated fat makes up a decent amount of the total fat in those foods. If you struggle to keep protein high at breakfast, consider raising your protein at lunch, dinner and snacks to complement the rest of the day.

I try my best not to overhype any one thing when it comes to improvements for your health. But it’s really difficult to vote against protein in any conversation (barring health issues that may limit how much you can safely consume.) Protein is often the number one macronutrient to focus on if you want to get stronger or leaner. A very close second would be focusing on your fiber intake.

Looking for an online coach to help you navigate your nutrition plan? Respond to the post below and let me see if I can help.

(Photo courtesy of Aleksander Saks)

Does anyone else feel like it’s a mind-numbing exercise in trying to get your health in a better place by trying to optimize every-single-solitary-thing in your life?

It’s not just that you need to drink more water, you need to optimize your hydration: cue more electrolytes, high pH water, hydrogen tabs (for extra hydrogen), a Stanley/Yeti cup for fashion sense and temperature control, and absolutely no plastics because we can’t risk you getting microplastics in your body (they’re endocrine disruptors).

It’s not just that you need to move your body, you have to optimize your time in movement: you need to get at least 10k steps/day (make sure you’re wearing a walking vest), you need 2-3x strength training workouts per week, you need to spend at least 10-30 minutes daily stretching/foam rolling/TheraGun-ning, 2-3 days per week with low intensity cardio or Zone 2 cardio PLUS 1-2 bouts of sprint intervals/plyometrics/Tabata training. Don’t forget to pencil in your yoga, pilates, zumba or barre class as well.

It’s not just that you need more restful sleep, you have to optimize your body’s ability to recover by: taking this proprietary blend of melatonin/magnesium/mushroom, getting at least 7-9 hours of quality Zs (tracked flawlessly with your Oura ring), getting red light therapy, detoxing in a sauna, cold plunging, and meditating because literally any amount of inflammation and cortisol in your body will kill you dead right on the spot (like, for real).

And it’s not just that you need to eat more nutritious food, you need to optimize those nutrients so that nothing is left on the table for your health and longevity, so…: no inflammatory foods (even though no food is inherently inflammatory for all people at all times), no gluten, no dairy, no alcohol, no added sugars, no phytonutrients, no nitrates, no FODMAPS, only grass fed, free range, emotionally coddled animal proteins (give a kiss goodbye to Bessie the Cow before she gets processed for your family’s nourishment), and don’t microwave anything in plastic because again…microplastics…endocrine disruptors, etc. Wait a second, I just heard that microplastics can be found in glass too…wtf? Oh yeah, and make sure that you’re wearing your continuous glucose monitor because you absolutely cannot have any insulin spikes because that immediately increases the fat in your cells and then you’ll get Type II diabetes and by the way, even stress can spike your insulin. Which means…you’re never, not ever, I mean ever allowed to be stressed out. K?

Lest I forget, optimize the rest of your life by: holding down a full-time job, raising perfect little humans, being emotionally and intimately connected to your spouse at all times, doing your chores, being financially stable, keeping a high credit score, and adding a respective 25th and 26th hour into your day, because nearly every paragraph that preceded this one reeks of a certain level of privilege many people will struggle to attain or maintain. Also, isn’t it interesting that the very people using their megaphones talking about the dysfunctional elements of our health, just so happen to be “functional health providers?” I find that interesting…

Did I mention you need to be in therapy too?

P.S. Contrary to what social media tells you:

-You’re doing great

-You’re not broken

-No one needs you to be perfect

-You can’t hate your way to happiness

-“Balancing” and “resetting” are shitty ways to tell you that the way you live isn’t right (but they can be better with this supplement stack priced at $199/month

-A little more: movement, water, protein, fiber, restful sleep, and strength can result in BIG changes. And also, they don’t cost very much to implement into your life.

(Photo courtesy of Emma Simpson)

Several weeks ago, I had an unfortunate incident happen with a service provider.

I won’t go into specifics about it (to protect the name of the business) but if I were a certain type of person, hopping on social media to express my displeasure about the circumstance could have been problematic for them.

I’m not talking about a flagrant mistake, just, the kind of thing that is more of a nuisance than a catastrophe.

I called the establishment up, spoke to a senior member of staff, explained the situation to them and asked them to report it up the ladder so that it wouldn’t be an issue for a future customer.

I explained that I wasn’t going to go on the internet and rant about it, I just wanted them to know privately so it could be handled “in-house.”

Depending on the services you invest your money in, or the products you purchase, your testimonial can hold a lot of weight.

While we have rarely solicited for reviews of RevFit, it’s almost always a welcome feeling.

Right now, there’s a negative Google review on our business from someone who has never trained here and has never had a consultation with a member of our staff. That review was posted about four years ago.

The best I can do, as the owner, is to state the facts, and offer an opportunity to make things right.

Beyond that, the hope, as a business, is that the clientele who is pleased with the service will not just “vote with their dollars” but also with a few kind words about their experience. That volume of positive experiences can outweigh any potential negative ones regardless over whether they were legitimate or not.

No business is perfect, no product or service is without flaw or without room for improvement. It’s how a business respects the opinion of its clientele and adapts over time.

While referrals are a significant way to generate new income for a business, testimonials are the extra little bit that show the world, you’re not just a patron but a fan as well.

My hope is that you’ll take inspiration from this post and think of at least five businesses that you love, seek them out on Google and take a few moments to leave them a positive review.

I know that I am behind in doing the same, myself.

I’ll be leaving positive reviews this week, as well, for businesses that I not only love being a patron of but am happy to refer business to.

Of course, if we’ve taken great care of you or your family, we’d love if you’d spread the word.

At your convenience, you can click HERE to share your review of RevFit.

Hopefully, that little bit of positivity that I’m passing to you, to pass to others, puts a smile on someone’s face, helps them get a new client or lifts them up during a challenging time.

(L to R: Coaches Nick Morton, Marcus Masters, myself and Mike Roder)

(Photo courtesy of Opal Visions Photography…who I will be reviewing as soon as I save this post and schedule to be published)

How stressed out are you right now?

It’s not a rhetorical question.

I’d like you to think about everything you have going on in your life at this moment:

-The stress of kids getting ready for (or just starting) school

-Work related stress

-Relationship stress

-The stress of illness or injury

-Financial stress

-Stress from lack of sleep

-Stress from how you nourish yourself

-Stress from how and if you move your body enough

-Stress from not having enough time in the day to do it all

Take stock, take inventory and re-assess the question.

How stressed out are you right now?

Stress is a quantitative marker I use with my online clients (and often with face-to-face clients) to understand how and why life might be getting in the way of their goals.

It’s also a question I ask when I’m in consultation with potential clients. I want to understand how they measure stress at that particular moment and what contributes to that stress.

It’s helpful to remind people that dieting can be a stressor. Exercise can also be a stressor. Some of that stress is good and necessary and “part of the process” and some of that stress can be taken too far.

For instance, if I have a client who says they’re currently under a lot of stress, that might not be the best time to focus on a dieting process. It really depends on the person.

Throughout my years of coaching, I’ve seen clients under a particular type of stress have very different outcomes from the same type of traumatic event. Case in point: divorce.

Client A was in the middle of a messy divorce and was strapped with their finances. This, in turn, affected how many groceries they could buy and, as a result, they lost desired weight simply because they couldn’t eat what they couldn’t afford to buy.

Client B was also in the middle of a messy divorce, finances were not affected in the short term and food became the coping mechanism for handling the event. As a result, weight increased until there was some clarity over how the future would change.

I think it’s impossible to look at how someone can improve their health by any measure, without also considering how stress plays a factor.

They will always be intricately intertwined.

Having some stress management techniques can be helpful but, bear in mind that not every tool will work for every person with the same degree of effectiveness.

Think about:

-Going for a walk/hike

-Reading a book

-Taking a bubble bath/hot shower

-Doing some form of restorative exercise: yoga, stretching, foam rolling, tai chi, etc.

-Getting a pedicure/manicure

-Listening to/playing music

-Talking to a friend

-Writing/journaling

I’ve found that the clients who are most successful at reaching their goals aren’t the ones who have the least amount of stress, rather they are the ones who are the most accepting of a certain level of unavoidable stress, who have some go-to stress management tools and have a more flexible mindset to the reality that always and without question: shit is going to hit the fan.

And once it does, how do they get through?

So, don’t expect a stress-free life.

Don’t wait until your life is stress-free to start shooting for your goals.

Find a way to navigate stress so that when times are more challenging, you have the ability to pivot, pause, reflect and realign priorities where necessary.

(Photo courtesy of Nik Shuliahin)

Sometime late 1994, early 1995, I was hearing about a singer by the name of Jeff Buckley.

His debut album, “Grace”, came out in August of 1994 and the critics were raving.

I heard one of his singles, “Last Goodbye”, on the radio and I liked it but I wasn’t crazy about it.

Nevertheless, I opted in to a Columbia House offer to get a batch of CDs for next to nothing and I ordered “Grace” from that package.

One night, I was doing homework in my dormroom at Belmont University in Nashville, and I put the CD on to give it a once-through.

The volume was loud enough that I could hear each song but nothing that was too disruptive to break my concentration for my homework.

That was, until “Hallelujah” came on.

I stopped what I was doing, turned the volume up and started the song over.

I’ve been hooked on Jeff Buckley ever since. That’s been thirty years.

A few weeks after I was playing the disc on a near endless loop, I was on campus talking to a friend and I asked: “What did you do last night?“

“Oh man, I went to Exit/In and saw this amazing concert…this guy named Jeff Buckley.”

“Wait, Jeff played Nashville last night?“

“Yeah, man! He was incredible!“

And that was the closest I would ever get to seeing Buckley live myself.

Two years later, he would be gone.

He died in my home state.

This past weekend, my mother, my oldest son, Jackson, and I went to see the new documentary: “It’s Never Over, Jeff Buckley.”

I knew it would be an emotional scene, and it was. In ways I probably didn’t prepare myself for.

Jeff Buckley’s “Grace” was a lifeline album for me; one of three I consider my desert island albums.

“Hallelujah” was the song that reeled me in but every song on the album has been a temporary favorite at one point or another.

To be able to go back to it now, I have to be in the right frame of mind.

Because that album got me through some of the darkest and most vulnerable points of my life.

I have to be in a mental place where I can compartmentalize the past and just focus on the music and what it means to me now.

I’ve found, over the last thirty years, that if you’re someone I meet and you like Jeff Buckley, we’re probably going to agree on a lot.

Fact is, Jeff’s music isn’t for everyone. But for the people who embrace it, music probably means more to you than just: Oh, I like whatever is on the radio.

Recently, I heard testimony from a 13 year old and a 17 year old about how much they like him.

That resonates with me.

Watching the documentary, I was reminded of all the reasons I loved that music and also reminded of how, even if Jeff was still alive, he probably wouldn’t be the most popular star on the planet.

And, I have to assume, that’s the way he would have wanted it.

What was also remarkable to me, was that my neurodivergent son, who doesn’t know Jeff’s catalog, was lip-synching every single word to “Hallelujah” when it came up in the film.

Not because he loves Jeff’s rendition, but very likely because he first heard it through Rufus Wainwright’s cover of the song from the “Shrek” soundtrack.

And isn’t it fascinating that the one song that Jeff is probably universally known for wasn’t written by him either? Rather, it was a Leonard Cohen song with a John Cale interpretation.

And make no mistake, no disrespect to Cohen or Cale or Wainwright, but no one holds a candle to Jeff’s version.

There were parts of the documentary that brought me to tears, because I can’t know Jeff’s story without knowing what his music got me through.

Watching Jackson mouth the words to that song was the reminder I needed that music can touch people in ways we will never fully comprehend.

Jeff’s music, to me, will always feel deeply personal.

And when I connect with anyone on that level, especially someone who’s never delved into his music, it’s a gift to give: Here I want you to have this. And I want you to have a special experience with it.

For me, that experience came thirty years ago in my dorm room and the experience evolved over time.

The last time my wife and I slow danced together, it was to Jeff’s cover of Nina Simone’s “Lilac Wine.”

Trust me when I tell you, I couldn’t wait to share Jeff’s music with her when we started dating.

Over fifteen years later, he flavors the soundtrack to our marriage.

I’ve spoken ad nauseum about my love of music on this site.

There is nothing like the album “Grace.”

So, whether you see the documentary or not, I leave that up to you.

I won’t spoil any details.

But when you get the chance, dim the lights to the room you’re in, put on your headphones, or turn up your speakers, and start the album.

When you’ve finished it, shoot me message.

I want to know if you’re a different person than you were before you started it.

To finish this with words of one of his songs: “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”

It’s never over
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It’s never over
All my riches for her smiles
When I’ve slept so soft against her

It’s never over
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter

It’s never over
She is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

(Photo credit Kevin Westerberg)

Our little man turned eight over this past weekend.

As summer is starting to wind down and he (begrudgingly) gets ready for second grade, the last year of Sebastian’s life has been full of excitement.

He’s still very much into science, making experiments, outer space and the weather.

He loves his video games about as much as most kids his age spending a fair amount of time playing Minecraft and Roblox with his friends.

When he’s not actively playing those games, you might find him watching YouTube videos giving him ideas and walk-throughs for how to complete certain tasks or finish levels of games where he’s gotten stuck.

In the past year, he’s participated in flag football (short-lived), baseball, basketball and tennis. We’re still trying to figure out what sport he likes best and I think it’s still to be determined.

Now that he’s just tall enough to do so, Sebastian’s turned into a bit of a thrill seeker and the season pass he and his mother have for Cedar Point has been the best investment for the place they’ve ventured to on an almost weekly basis to get on nearly every rollercoaster and water slide he can find.

When he’s not on the rides, Sebastian loves to swim and, thanks to an abundance of YouTube shorts, he’s stumbled across videos showing him how to plant fruit and vegetable trees that he’s hoping will actually work in spite of the Ohio weather.

Throughout the school year, he became a voracious reader, devouring chapter books at a frantic pace and then, more recently, venturing into Manga graphic novels.

This has opened up a lot of interest into anime and Japanese culture (another nod to YouTube for showing us what life is like over there compared to the U.S.)

When he’s not trying to set up playdates with friends from school, Sebastian has little problem finding other ways to busy himself: drawing, writing, making forts, and still occasionally playing with Legos.

Over this past weekend, he said goodbye to being seven and welcome the age of eight with several of his classmates and friends as they partied through gel blasters and glow dodgeball at NEO Extreme Games in Brunswick.

As a birthday surprise, Sebastian (who says he has aspirations of being an astronaut) was treated to his first plane ride. Our “Uncle” Ned, took Sebastian, Marissa and myself on a private plane to fly around Akron and Canton on the day of his birthday. Despite being a little bit nervous at first, he absolutely loved the experience.

All in all, as the saying goes: eight is great and it’s certainly getting started that way for Sebastian.

We love you, little man, here’s to another year to fly high.

(Pictured below with the Cirrus aircraft right before takeoff)