Recently, I was speaking with my therapist, Charlotte, and it was one of those conversations where I felt as if there was nothing pressing to talk about.
There was no major drama happening in work or life, no traumatic events, and no vulnerable areas I needed to work through.
Everything felt “good”.
With just one nagging little thought in my mind, and it’s one that I think many people can relate to: Why does it feel like, at any moment, the rug’s going to get pulled out from underneath me or that I’m waiting for another shoe to drop?
It’s as if, success or happiness is so fleeting and so temporary that I’m waiting for the next catastrophe to hit.
And as I told the story to Charlotte, I had read once (and have experienced), the feeling that when all is going well, some people just self-sabotage the good in their lives because, deep down, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the happiness or success that they have.
She admitted that the sentiment is very much “a thing.”
And she pushed back on me to redefine what success means to me.
So, this week, I’m attempting to do that with the hopes that you’ll take a few moments and work through the exercise yourself.
Work: As of this writing, RevFit is going great. 2026 has been an exceptional year for us, and that’s saying a lot when we’ve been in business for over 17 years. Success with work is about more than revenue or profits, though. It’s about the feel of the community, the “vibe” during training sessions, and being a spectator to the conversations between clients. It’s about how the staff is connected to the business, if they feel supported, if what they do at the studio is complementary to the goals they have in their lives. Success is also about if the service we offer is quantitatively and qualitatively improving the lives of the people who belong to the studio.
Family: Success with family is about the time we spend together, whether we’re cooking, cleaning, talking, listening, or enjoying leisure time together. It’s watching the boys grow and evolve with school. Do they have access to a good education? Do they feel seen, heard, and cared for? Success is about how we get through tough and sensitive conversations. If we disagree, can we do so respectfully? If there is turmoil, can it be overcome effectively? It’s managing health, aging, and the world around us.
Finances: Success is our ability to afford necessities, it’s our way of reducing and/or eliminating debt. It’s a way that we can have candid conversations about the ebb and flow of income versus expenses and how different times of a month or of a year impact what we are able to provide for one another.
Marriage: Success isn’t just about how long we’ve been together as we celebrate each year of marriage. It’s about honoring and recognizing who we are, who we’ve become, how life, health, parenting, and stress affect how we walk side by side with each other. It’s maturing with one another and grasping how each new year brings it’s own set of challenges both mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially.
Health: Success is managing how our bodies feel, both with what we can see versus what’s happening inside us. It’s being able to stay up with bloodwork, doctor’s appointments, medications, and attitudes around our imperfect bodies. It’s about accepting physical limitations, pivoting towards how to make the best of less than ideal circumstances, and having a flexible mindset around what we can change and what we can’t. It’s embracing what we have now, because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring us.
And these are just some of my random thoughts around success, not at all exhaustive. I don’t know how you will define it for yourself and how you measure what’s working and not working for you.
What I would ask of you, is to write down the areas of your life that matter most to you. You don’t have to follow my template. This exercise took me about 20-30 minutes to complete and I hope that you can carve out a similar amount of time for yourself to do the same.
Because what qualifies as success now, may look very different five years from now.
And if you won’t want to fall in the trap that myself and others have fallen into, it probably helps to get a sense of grounding around what matters, why it matters, and what you’re going to do to influence it.
(Photo courtesy of Nicholas Sampson)
Jason Leenaarts 
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