The Magnitude Of Effect

Once upon a time, Bella (not her real name) struggled with disordered eating behaviors.

She recalls a period of life where it wasn’t uncommon for her to buy a cake and eat half of it in basically one sitting.

For those counting, that could be upwards of 1000-3000 calories.

And the emotions she would go through, those feelings of guilt and shame or failure for not adhering to a stricter food plan, would have their own consequences.

What many people might not consider is that the very act of indulgence could also bring up feelings of comfort or control, all depending on where Bella was psychologically at that time

Today, she is far removed from those behaviors.

However, some of those same feelings around “good foods” versus “bad foods”, still exist.

Foods that might otherwise be defined as junk foods still hold a lot of negative value in her mind.

So, when she consumes them, regardless of how little she eats, she still sees the very act as a negative one.

And despite the fact that she has been successful and moderately losing fat over the last month we’ve been working together, we’re still trying to unpack a lot of that negative and maladaptive messaging.

She recently was hard on herself for having some sweets and some popcorn, but once we looked a little bit further into the details, it was only a couple of hundred calories worth, a far cry from what the days of cake could contribute.

And I reminded her of a thought around the magnitude of effect.

Emotionally, part of Bella’s mind is telling her that popcorn and sweets are “bad foods” and consuming them is taking her off course.

Logically, they were hardly worth worrying over.

And when we talked about that, about the growth and healing she’s had to overcome to put that one part of her life in the rearview, it still helps to reframe what’s happening with food.

Popcorn isn’t bad.

Sweets aren’t bad.

Cake isn’t bad.

What can make a difference is the story that we can tell ourselves, the mental gymnastics of what that effect is against our goals.

Truth be told, even if she had recently lapsed into half a cake again, it’s not the calories that would be the biggest concern, it’s the emotional weight she’d carry for having consumed the portion she did.

Most food decisions, even the overindulgences, can be corrected and it doesn’t take a 180 degree turn.

But it does take some self-compassion and some patience to remind ourselves that food serves so many purposes in our lives.

Food can be fuel, and love, and comfort, and happiness and often all at the same time.

Sometimes we just need a little reminder that the magnitude of effect may not be quite as detrimental as we once thought.

And we can take a deep breath, step back from the proverbial cliff and get back to viewing food from a lens without quite so much shame, and doubt, and guilt.

(Photo courtesy of Kaouther Djouada)