Everything

Once upon a time…

There was a certain amount of independence that came from us being opposites.

You had your life, your passions and your career that were so different than mine, that it didn’t matter if we didn’t have a lot in common.

We loved each other and that got us through a lot.

We took each struggle that came our way, and they were numerous, and they came early and we just kept pushing forward.

As time passed, that independence, that same thing that seemed almost a benefit to each of us because it allowed us to operate in our own little spheres of the world began to put distance between us.

It wasn’t a conscious thing. It was…you’re over there thriving and I’m over here thriving and, although we didn’t really know how to understand what the other was going through, we were supportive, if not simply distant…until that chasm opened.

It almost felt as if a force we weren’t totally aware of was starting to work against us. When you adapt to a certain life of obstacles and overcoming them, you develop a resistance that can be equally empowering and destructive.

And it became both for us.

You look back and you start to ask yourself…in hindsight, how exactly did we function?

We had a marriage, we had a child, we had our jobs, and the marriage became just that thing we were attached by, not completely involved in.

And when that hole opened up and damn near swallowed us both, we each had to step back and ask: what’s left?

The answer became clear…although not immediately…we are what’s left.

So, we started to pull that gap closer and it took time and it took tears and it took trust and it took being able to look at each other and say: I know we’ve changed over these years, but there’s something good here and we need to find that again.

We are still opposites. You have your life that is very different than what it was when we met. Mine is, very similar, but amplified exponentially and we took that chasm and narrowed it, sealing it closed.

Our life, when together, has turned into something of shared experience. We find the few things we know we enjoy together, that we enjoy doing as “us” instead of as one coming along for the ride, and we do them as often as possible.

I never wanted to change you. I loved you as you were, I just didn’t know how to relate to you beyond loving you.

However, the chasm taught us a lot.

While the life we have lived through these years has served to push and pull us in equal measure, we’re still here holding the same hands, looking through the same sets of eyes, sharing something that I think surpasses what either of us thought we were capable of. Well, maybe you knew we were capable of it…I sometimes miss those details.

Today, and each day forward, remains about the memories we’re creating, many of which we are making with just the two of us and many of which with the children who have been a part of our story.

You are my love. I owe you everything.

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