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I hadn’t intended to write another music-related post so soon after my article about Kendrick Lamar but something of interest happened last week and it got me thinking about it on a broader scale.

If you’re here to read something about health, I promise to make a tie in at the end so I hope you’ll stick around for the ride.

Note: I’ve posted a lot of external links in this article so, feel free to click on the bold words for those links as a point of reference.

Last week, Linkin Park made the announcement that they would be reuniting, recording a new album, and touring again, all with a new lead singer and drummer.

If you don’t know who Linkin Park is, that’s perfectly okay. Their debut album, Hybrid Theory, came out in 2000 and I was managing a music store when that album came out. It was a HUGE success. To date, it has sold over 32 million copies worldwide.

Linkin Park was a band that showcased not one, but two vocalists: Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda. Shinoda would provide a combination of singing and rapping while Chester would sing/shout/scream.

I will say that I am not their biggest fan. I really liked their first two albums, the aforementioned Hybrid Theory and the follow-up, Meteora, but my appreciation of them dipped and waned over the rest of their career as much of their sound changed.

What I would like you to appreciate was that Chester had a voice and a presence that was unique. So much so, that when he took his life in 2017, it was a huge blow not only to the fans of the band but the music industry as a whole.

Of note, within a relatively short time frame (2015-2017), we would also lose other iconic frontmen like Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave) and Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver).

When any popular band loses its singer, there are a few points of consideration:

-Do we continue with another singer who will perform all of our hits with us, presumably under the same name?

-Do we disband and start something new under a new name?

-Do we disband and leave the legacy intact?

Consider The Doors who basically never replaced Jim Morrison except to do short stints of gigs with other guest singers.

Or think about Joy Division, who transitioned into the band New Order after the suicide of frontman Ian Curtis and arguably went on to more success without him.

Or, take the case in point with Linkin Park:

They not only opted to reunite after 7 years but they chose a very capable singer in Emily Armstrong (formerly of Dead Sara). Emily has the pipes to replace Chester and even if her voice isn’t a dead ringer for his, it’s close enough to give fans something they’ve been missing since Chester passed.

If we compare against the two examples above, Soundgarden and Audioslave have not tried to replace Chris Cornell since he passed. However, Stone Temple Pilots replaced Scott Weiland with Jeff Gutt. Jeff not only sounds pretty close to Scott, he even emulates some of his stage presence and fashion sense. They’re currently on a world tour performing all of those hits they wrote with Weiland. (As an interesting aside, Chester Bennington actually recorded an EP as the vocalist for STP at one point as well.)

I’m not going to say what I think is the “right” decision to make. A band is more than just their lead singer but depending on that lead singer and the catalog of music left behind, one could make the argument that the remaining band members deserve to go out and make a living doing what they love. There is still an audience who will pay to see the show.

And that’s assuming that you took the news well.

I took a screen shot of a comment that a fan left on social media.

It read:

“No, Linkin Park.

That’s not it. That’s not it by any stretch.

When he sang, we felt that.

When he screamed, we fucking felt that.

He spoke to our tortured souls.

He allowed us to feel what we felt.

Make a new band. And stop shitting on his legacy.”

This is where I will try my best to pull the narrative back to how we might improve our health.

We, as people, are somewhat resistant to change.

Some more so than others.

Many of the people I work with are in committed relationships that have fallen into a pattern of comfort that in many ways provides a sense of security and consistency but might not always be health-promoting.

One person may decide they want to lose fat or get stronger and the other person in their life may not want either of those things (either because they’re not ready or because they don’t want to take the same path).

Friction tends to begin here because the status quo will be disrupted.

There is a part of you that will remain fundamentally unchanged: you will still be a loving, caring, vibrant person BUT you also may look at your diet differently, your body differently and your social life may have to shift to accommodate those changes. That shift will either be accepted by those close to you or met with resistance.

And resistance may not always be evident, but subtle in nature. It’s almost as if you’ve got permission to improve yourself but not if it highlights the insecurities of those around you.

In consideration of the Linkin Park fans, some people are not willing to allow Linkin Park to move on in this way. Any new singer potentially tarnishes the legacy of Chester and they are not going to be okay with that. They might accept the remaining members to move on with a new singer and drummer under a new name but how dare you call it the same project when that person could never fill Chester’s shoes.

I get it.

I am painfully passionate about certain bands and I’m not sure how I would feel if I loved a certain singer but someone else tried to fill their shoes.

Perhaps it’s because I’m not a dyed in the wool Linkin Park fan that (as of this writing) I find the change to be refreshing. The band sounds familiar, yet rejuvenated, and I am certain they will sell a tremendous amount of tickets to their shows.

Somewhat surprisingly, within 24 hours of the band’s announcements, the new singer is already facing some scrutiny for alleged former affiliations.

As a result, cancel culture may strike again and time will tell if it’s warranted.

I write this as a drug addict in recovery: Some people accept your change and some people resist your change even if change is in your best interest.

That said, I think a certain rebirth is necessary, if not crucial for the evolution of a person. I would not want to be 20-something Jason again for any amount of money. I want to be the best 40-something (inching towards 50-something) Jason because he’s the one who changed the most, and I believe, for the better.

Out of respect to the legion of Linkin Park fans, those who accept the new direction and those who don’t: You can allow your love for the band to remain with those albums Chester created with them or you can see where the road leads with Emily. Just like when Chester was alive, Mike Shinoda had a lot to do with the music and lyrics you heard and he remains part of this new chapter.

But when it comes to how we change our own lives and the change you are embarking on for yourself, I hope your support system (your dyed in the wool fans) give you the love and support you need with as little resistance as can be.

(Photo edited and adapted from Getty Images)

I spend a great deal of time talking about nutrition, training, fat loss and mental health on this page.

One of the things you may read about as you find the areas that overlap in all of those topics is how you manage your self care.

Many years ago, I had basically two outlets for my emotions: songwriting and drugs.

I gave up the drugs in 2006 and little did I know then, I would only have a handful of years left before the songwriting would fall by the wayside as well.

Fitness became an outlet that started in 1999 but became more prominent after I got clean.

However, as I’ve gotten older and my responsibilities and priorities have changed in life, so too have the coping mechanisms when life throws whatever curveballs it can my way.

These days, self care and stress management skills go somewhat hand-in-hand.

The things that I consider restorative and stress reducing are often synonymous with each other.

Now, I use exercise, writing, reading, playing guitar/singing, listening to music, certain household chores, cooking, going for hikes with Marissa (or Marissa and Sebastian), watching movies, getting a massage, etc. as ways to “fill my cup.”

If you’re struggling with something like fat loss, there’s a good chance that you don’t have effective outlets for your stress or feelings of boredom.

My kind advice to you this week is to make a list of the things you enjoy doing that help you fill your cup.

Those things may change over time (as mine did) but, in the short term, you need a list that you can utilize until you change those default patterns in your life.

For instance, if you’re someone who experiences uncomfortable/unsettling feelings when you’re by yourself and the default is to head to the pantry/fridge/freezer, visit your list and find something that can serve as not only a distraction and a break in the old pattern, but something you actually enjoy doing instead that’s not related to food.

You may hear the advice that it’s important to “sit” with your feelings and I don’t think that’s bad advice but sometimes you may need to put your mind and body into something that doesn’t feel as threatening as sitting with those uncomfortable feelings.

For myself, I no longer need to remind myself what things help me cope with downtime or uncomfortable feelings. I know what works, and I find ways to busy myself so that I’m not turning to food to solve every problem in my life (like I did with drugs all those years ago).

I came late to the game with things like hiking and only just started getting into it last year. Now I love it. It’s the kind of thing I can do that’s a complete distraction from my normal world. It doesn’t make my problems go away but it does give me fresh perspective to be able to handle stress when it’s higher than normal.

You may find something else does that for you and the most important thing is that you find it and use it.

Ask me in ten years what I’m doing for self-care and some of my answers might change.

But many of them will be the same.

Why? Because they work really well and when you have a moment, I’d love to hear what works best for you.

It might sound funny to you but a lot of the clients I work with don’t have an information problem when it comes to fat loss. 

They’re well educated, well read, they’ve likely already been successful more than once losing fat but the weight keeps coming back and now they’re stuck. 

So, the common refrain is: I know what to do I just can’t seem to do it! 

Here are 4 tips to consider:

-Make the goal smaller. Let’s assume you have 50 pounds to lose. Depending on how you view that goal, it may seem like too much of a chore and too daunting of a task. Make it smaller. Change the goal to 5 pounds and see what changes you start to make to get the needle to move. Do you snack less, drink less alcohol, go for more walks, etc.? For many people, 5 pounds can be just enough to give you some momentum, some motivation, and some clarity about what needs to change so that you can tackle the next 5 pounds from there. 

-Examine your schedule. If you’re currently struggling to get started with fat loss, it may be because your current schedule and priorities provide a lot of comfort and familiarity. Disrupting the status quo can be more challenging than you realize. Look at certain areas of your daily life and see what can possibly be improved on. For instance, let’s say that you have been going to bed later than normal. As a result, you’re sleeping in later than need be and you’re rushing around in the morning (when you “should” be trying to exercise). Make a pact with yourself (and probably your significant other) to scale back the time to go to bed by 30-60 minutes. You’re trying to create enough “blank space” in your day to make time for exercise, meal prepping, self care, etc. Sometimes you can do this all on your own and sometimes you need the help of family members to help take some of the load off of your shoulders.

-Is now a bad time? I keep seeing this well-meaning sentiment from coaches in the industry who are trying to make a case for “putting in the work” no matter what. I understand it. I can appreciate where it’s coming from but I’m going to play to your defense and say that sometimes fat loss might not need to be the top priority. Yes, we all work within the same 24 hours but those 24 hours don’t look the same to each of us. If you have more on your plate than what you can handle right now, give yourself a reasonable and realistic timeframe to put the brakes on fat loss and focus on weight maintenance for the moment. Maybe you’re in a caregiving role for an aging parent, maybe you’re the parent who is doing the majority of the chauffeur duties for children in the home. Whatever the reason that you feel you can’t put the focus on yourself and your goals, look at how long you’ll be in that position. What can be delegated on to others, who can help relieve some of the stress you’re working with, and what’s the amount of time (days, weeks, months) where you can’t physically or mentally handle more? I’ll give you a good example that many people can relate to: trying to focus on fat loss between late November and the end of December. Once you recognize that, you have 11 months out of the year to start prioritizing your needs again. So, zoom out on your current responsibilities and priorities in life. Give yourself a time frame between when you need to pause and handle those priorities and when you can resume what you need to for yourself. I will say: there’s rarely a perfect time so, in many cases, you’ll need to create the opening for yourself OR life will have a funny way of interfering indefinitely.

-Revisit your values. Let me share something with you from many years of working with clients online and face-to-face. There is often a conversation and/or space on an intake form to ask about your values. With rare exception, the two values most often listed (in no particular order): Health and Family. Take a moment to consider how you’re honoring those values. How do your actions and behaviors align with those values? If you value your health, what steps do you take on a daily and weekly basis to focus on improving your health? If you value your family, how does your current health reflect on what you’re able to do for and with your family. I should add that fat loss in and of itself is not always a reflection of health. For some people, a focus on fat loss might coincide with unhealthy behaviors. However, if you take a moment to write down 3-5 personal values and how your current lifestyle supports them, it can provide some clarity for where you currently are vs. where you want to be.

(Photo courtesy of Nik)

1. I’m far more concerned about 3-4 days of a recent food journal (1-2 normal days and 1-2 abnormal days) than I am about the calories you think you need to be hitting to achieve fat loss. Rather than driving yourself crazy trying to weigh and measure every solitary thing in your diet, look at what you’re currently consuming, write it all down for a few days (even things you think don’t count) and try scaling back from there.
2. If you need a protein powder to help you reach your protein goals for the day, any powder and most premixed protein drinks will do the trick. Many women struggle with whey protein so if whey is not an option for you, try the plant-based premixed protein shakes by OWYN that have around 32g of protein per serving.
3. There is no such thing as a “good” food or “bad” food. There is food that you can moderate successfully and food that you don’t moderate as well. Choose which foods you want to have easy access to in your home if fat loss is your goal. If you don’t moderate a food well, decide where and when you’d like to include it in your food plan, so that you don’t feel overly restrictive on the plan. For example, a cookie a day might work really well for someone if they need something to look forward to each day but a cookie every two weeks might work really well for someone who needs to build some momentum before they “reward” themselves with the treat.
4. If you have a stressful life, adding the stress of a low calorie diet and the stress of a high intensity workout is a recipe for disaster. Try reducing the intensity of your training and pushing your calories up a bit.
5. The best supplement for fat loss is better sleep. Poor sleep is strongly correlated to poor dietary adherence and higher cravings.
6. The second best supplement for fat loss is your self talk. It’s the rare occurrence that someone succeeds with their fat loss goals while also shaming their body along the way. Speak with respect about the body that literally performs miracles for you every day.
7. What’s more important for fat loss: calories or hormones? If you want the needle to move on the scale, calories have to be controlled for the goal. However, hormones influence your ability to stick to those calories. Ask any woman in the menopause transition how much easier it was for them to lose fat when they were in their 20s and 30s and you’ll get a shining example of just how important hormones can be in the conversation. That being said, be highly skeptical of anyone who is trying to sell you on a “hormone reset”. Your body isn’t a smartphone. You don’t just power it down and power it back up and expect it to work without issue.
8. You have unconditional permission to eat any food you like. Certain foods (or portions of foods) might slow down your progress but that doesn’t mean you’re not “allowed” to have them.
9. I don’t think there is any demographic that is grossly taken advantage of more than women in the menopause transition. The toughest part about that is that every woman will experience this change differently than the next and there is NO blueprint about the best way to handle hot flushes, night sweats and the “extra” in your midsection. Some women need HRT, some women need an antidepressant, and that may not solve every symptom that you have. Find a great OB/GYN and possibly a great endocrinologist. Eat mostly nutritious foods, limit alcohol, stay hydrated, have a movement practice you can stick with/enjoy and BE KIND to yourself.
10. There is no one-size-fits-all diet that works equally well for everyone. We not only have different interests, different cultural backgrounds, different taste buds, and different financial means to afford food for ourselves but we have different digestive systems, different reactions to food and while keto might have worked fantastically well for your neighbor, you might find that you just really like (and thrive) on a higher carbohydrate diet. Focus on you.

(Photo courtesy of Artur Rutkowski)

If you know me, you know how much I love music.

You probably also know that I can be unfairly and unreasonably opinionated about music as well.

I remember sometime in the 80s, when I could go to the store and buy cassettes on my own, and start to build my own little collection of music. That transitioned into CDs, mp3s, vinyl and now, it’s just some odd combination of digital and vinyl on hand.

In my heart, rock and roll will always rule the roost: punk, classic rock, metal, Britpop, grunge, power pop, I love so much of it.

But I’ve also held a special place for rap as well.

When it started for me in the 80s, it was rap that was mostly clean lyrically and meant for breakdancing. There was also the rise of Run DMC, Beastie Boys and LL Cool J.

By time I hit middle school, rap was changing into more violent and vulgar lyrical content along with the stamping of: Explicit Lyrics/Parental Advisory on the cover. Most of what I started to listen to then was 2 Live Crew, N.W.A., and Too Short. I typically had to hide these cassettes from my parents because the vast majority of the songs would not have been met with their approval.

In 1990, we were transferred to Brasil with my father’s job and rap music, surprisingly, fell out of favor with me for a handful of years. The early 90s would see the rise and popularity of such artists as: Wu-Tang Clan, 2Pac, The Notorious B.I.G., Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and A Tribe Called Quest (among many others). Most of these, I have to admit, I did not appreciate during their most popular eras. I had given my life (and ears) back to rock music and it would take until the late 90s before I would come back around.

That turning point happened with Eminem, an artist who made his landmark because of the aforementioned Dr. Dre. I’d carry my fascination with Eminem into the next big signing of Dre, 50 Cent, in the early 2000s.

Over the next decade or so, I’d continue my ever expanding palette with different rap and rock artists and in 2012, I heard about the next rap superstar that would be coming up under Dr. Dre: Kendrick Lamar.

Before I go any further, I need to explain a little “problem” I have with music.

For as long as I can remember, if I hear a song and I can’t get into the voice of the person singing or rapping, the song/artist/band/album is a no-go for me. The voice is always the deal breaker.

And, being candid, I’ve backpedaled on artists before. I recall not liking Ian Curtis (Joy Division), Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Dave Matthews, Jack White (The White Stripes) and probably many others.

And then, sometimes, it’s the amount of exposure, or the circumstance that gets me to turn back and hear someone in a different light, and then: I’m all in. Such was the case of all of those aforementioned artists.

That’s exactly how it came to be with Kendrick Lamar as well. I heard him for the first time in 2012, when his hit album “Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City” came out. I knew that Dre had brought him under as wing, and being someone who had followed Dre from all the way back in his time with N.W.A. in the 80s, I knew that if Dre liked him, I’d like him as well.

Except, I didn’t.

I didn’t like Kendrick’s voice, and, while I could appreciate that he was a talented rapper, it was no-go for me.

In 2015, Kendrick released an album called “To Pimp A Butterfly” and the critics were absolutely raving about it. It combined hip-hop, jazz, funk, r&b and blues and I figured I would give him another chance.

I could tell that it was a different kind of rap album than what I was accustomed to.

But I got a few tracks in and I just couldn’t finish it. His voice, again, was more than I could handle.

Over the next several years, Kendrick would have cameos on songs, release the Pulitzer prize winning album “Damn” and no matter what I heard, I just didn’t like his music.

Until 2022.

In that year, Kendrick released an album called “Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers.” For no particular reason, I listened to it.

And after about 3 songs in, I was floored.

Kendrick’s voice hadn’t changed. In fact, he was utilizing even more changes in the way he would rap his lyrics.

What did change, for me, was the content.

Kendrick was writing an album dealing with depression, mental health, childhood trauma, marital discourse, fatherhood, therapy, and much more.

And he did it within the context of an album that arguably has no “hit” songs on it.

It is, even to this day, a profoundly uncomfortable album to listen to.

Never mind the fact that the music and the production is beautiful.

The lyrics are uncomfortable to digest almost from beginning to end.

And, if I’m being honest, there is probably not a rock album that can compare to the subject matter.

At that point, what I heard made me go backwards and try to listen to the other albums with a fresh set of ears.

And when I did, then I became a fan.

I’d listen to Kendrick on and off over the next couple of years but “Mr. Morale” remained the album I would come back to.

That is, until his well-publicized feud with pop/rap superstar Drake happened this year.

Drake is an artist that I’ve admittedly never been crazy about. I’d find a couple of songs of his that I could get into but his unique combination of rapping/singing just didn’t resonate with me.

However, he has had a wildly successful career and is without question one of the most popular artists of this generation.

When the feud between Kendrick and Drake began in March of this year, I wasn’t quite sure what to think of it and by time it hit it’s boiling point in May, I got so thoroughly engrossed in the beef that I made little time for any other type of music. It was the most excited I’d been to be engaged in rap music in years.

While the rap genre has historically had a colorful association with two artists who can lyrically spar with each other, this particular battle made national news.

And it led to me spending hours and hours digesting analyses of the lyrics, the impact that it was having on the genre, loads of conspiracy theories and countless replays of the diss tracks themselves to understand what was happening.

I got so lost in all of it, that I kept going back through Kendrick’s albums and circulating through each one over and over again.

The beef itself appears to have ended but my fascination with Kendrick’s work has only been amplified.

While it’s never been uncommon for me to find a song or artist that I like and listen repeatedly to for days on end, usually after a couple of weeks I’ve worn myself out and I have to move on to something else.

That has not happened with Kendrick’s music.

Each album has a completely different feel and each one takes you on a very different journey. Every time I’ve felt the need to skip a song on an album (something I would do under any normal circumstance), I just get lost again in the actual feel of what that album represents. So, I continue in the sequence it was meant to be in.

This may seem rather silly to you. I know that I tend to geek out on music more than most people I know. That part I’m accustomed to. What’s been the strangest for me is not tiring out on what is genuinely a small catalog of music to pull from.

I can’t promise that if you like rap music that you’ll like what Kendrick has to offer. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.

I can’t promise that if you’re not a rap fan, that listening to Kendrick will make you change your mind. The problem is, if you like what he’s doing, you’ll be hard pressed to find others who can compare.

At some point, I know that I’ll need to start expanding my listening again. I’ve felt almost apologetic to the rest of my collection because I’ve basically ignored it over the last several months.

And if you want to understand the magnitude of not just Kendrick’s place in rap music but also what that Drake feud could mean to the genre, I’d encourage any music fan to check out this video on YouTube for further explanation. Yes, it’s 3.5 hours long. Yes, it’s totally worth watching. As of this writing, it’s been viewed 2.7 million times and it’s only been out for three weeks.

I don’t always take these kinds of detours on this blog but every so often I need to step out of the fitness/health/nutrition topics to expand on something else.

So, in many ways, Kendrick’s music has changed me because I can’t recall the last time I put so much of a time investment in any one artist. The fact is, I am not Kendrick’s target audience. I’m a white, middle class guy who grew up in the suburbs. I don’t have much connection to Kendrick’s life experience.

But I think, as any true artist should, they can inspire a multitude of people regardless of who they are and where they come from.

If this experience has “ruined” me, in any way, it’s because I’ve yet to find a way to stop listening.

My only hope for you is that you find an artist that you can thoroughly get engrossed in as well. I genuinely feel bad for folks who can’t say something along the lines of: “That album changed my life.”

Our tastes don’t have to be aligned but if you have that experience, then we’re more alike than otherwise.

In my mind, I’m telling myself that this will be a short post this week.

I know that many people either currently are tracking or have tracked macros before for fat loss success.

One thing I’ve found over the years is that it’s easily over-complicated and not only can it ruin your relationship with food but you find yourself playing “macro Tetris” (Credit to my friend and client, Theresa for that one).

So, let’s start with a quick foundation.

Using an online calorie calculator to estimate what your body burns in a day, find a deficit that works for you.

I’ll use myself as an example.

I burn approximately 2800 calories in a regular work day. If I wanted to lose fat but I wanted to keep up with a higher activity level, I would aim for a smaller deficit (let’s say 10%). That would put me loosely in line with 2500 a day.

If I wanted to lose fat but I wasn’t particularly active, I would experiment with a larger deficit (let’s say 20-30%). That puts me in line with 1960-2240 per day.

The very first macro I want to set (regardless of the size of my deficit) is my protein. I personally like macro ranges as opposed to macro targets. For one, agonizing over each and every gram isn’t worth the frustration and in all honesty, close enough is good enough.

To find a decent protein range, I’ll take my bodyweight in kilograms, multiplied by 1.2-1.6g. In my case, that puts me somewhere between 76-102g per day. I know myself pretty well and I’m well acclimated to a high(er) protein diet, so on average I already consume 120-140g per day. That’s an amount that satisfies me.

For the purposes of fat loss, setting calories and protein are the two most important variables. Literally anything can be done with carbs and fats to fill out the rest of my daily intake and as long as I stay in a deficit, I’ll be fine.

I’ll slip in a few little details which can make fat loss more sustainable during the dieting process:

-Try not to let fat drop below 20-25% of total calories. Ideally, saturated fat should make up less of the total intake with more fat coming from poly/mono-unsaturated fats.

-Within carbs, aim for a variety of fiber sources and limit your added sugars.

-If you’re not losing fat, you are not in a deficit. And, it is much easier for some people to stay in a deficit than it is for others.

-Calorie counting and macro tracking have been found to be contraindicated for those who struggle with disordered eating. Please consider the help of a therapist to work through the disordered eating behaviors first.

Need my help? Drop me a line.

(Photo courtesy of Gardie Design)

You’re reading this on the week of Sebastian’s 7th birthday.

I asked him what he was looking forward to about turning 7 and his best answer was: first grade.

So, here’s the scoop on what Sebastian’s life has been like since his last birthday…

He had a complete blast during kindergarten and made friends he will likely continue to connect with for years to come.

He took up baseball, tennis, swimming and it’s looking like he’ll be playing flag football in the fall. So far, he loves all of it but it’s hard to tell if he loves the activity itself or just being around other kids.

He is still obsessed with video games, namely Minecraft and Roblox on his Nintendo Switch and Metaquest.

And, when he’s not playing video games, he’s watching streaming shows where he can see “influencers” conquer levels and teach command codes that help him get better at his favorite games.

He is still very much into science, science projects, the solar system and the weather.

He’s not as much into playing his records as he used to be, but he does still like to tinker with an acoustic guitar and his electronic drum set. Those of you who may remember the line in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Ferris himself claims: Never had one lesson! Yep, that’s how it is in our house too. Sebastian seems perfectly content to find his own groove and make music that sounds good to him. You can pray for our neighbors…

Frankly, Sebastian is quick as a whip and it’s with a fair amount of frequency that his mother and I make the statement that he’s probably the smartest person in the house.

Within the year, we had to say goodbye to our pitbull, Bowser, but we weren’t without a pet for long. The last four months have been acclimating to our boxer puppy, Bubbles, who just turned seven months old. Sebastian loves her.

He still adores his big brother, Jackson, and he just seems to love all kids in general. He can be shy from time to time, but once he gets comfortable, it’s hard to break him away from playtime.

I know that basically every parent is biased about their child(ren) but I have to say (in speaking for both of us) that Sebastian is just a really sweet little guy.

So, Sebastian, as there will be many ways we’ll celebrate your birthday this month, know that we love you and know how proud we are to call you our own.

My friend and fellow coach, Shane McLean, is shutting down his garage gym as he and his family prepare to move to a different state.

He recently made a post about it and I sent him a message giving some love and support his way.

If you don’t know Shane, let me share just a small bit about him. From my time knowing him in the fitness industry, he’s a guy who rarely has a negative thing to say about anyone. He supports a wealth of people in this industry and (from what I can tell), Shane’s the kind of guy you always want on your side. He’s caring, compassionate, smart and he always wants to see you succeed.

Reading that he had to shut his business down was a tough thing to digest. I know how hard it can be to run a successful fitness facility.

In his post, he began to question what success meant to him as he embarks on this next chapter of his career and life.

Within the context of my message to him, was something else I wanted to share with all of you.

Many of us (myself included) can find ourselves using the success of others as a gauge for where we should be.

We can easily forget that the success of someone else might come at a price we are not willing to pay.

I know, for example, what the revenue is of my business and I know that, based on size alone, that number is something to be proud of (especially since we’re not in a metropolitan area). It would be easy for me to look at another gym and ask: Why can’t I be as successful as them?

But in asking that question, I have to consider other factors:

-What did they sacrifice to get there?

-What square footage do they have?

-How many coaches work there?

-How long have they been profitable?

-Does the owner have a life or is the gym their life?

I could ask other questions too, but the answers to those first questions can tell me a lot.

In my message to Shane, I knew that he had to look at success through a different lens. Did he improve the lives of the people he worked with? Did he grow as a man, a husband, a father and a coach? Did he learn valuable skills which he can later utilize in shifting his business into another state or into online coaching?

And this post isn’t just about Shane, or me, or fitness business owners.

It’s about you.

It’s about taking inventory of where you are in life: with your health, your social life, your finances, and your relationships.

If you see someone who’s met an ideal that you think you should be at, what price did they pay to get there?

If someone has a body that you compare yourself against, how reasonable is that comparison? Who are their parents? How hard do they have to work to maintain that body? What drugs/supplements do they have to take? What type of diet regimen are they following?

Most importantly, what are you willing to do to get closer to that ideal?

I learned that for me to keep some sanity along the way, I needed to focus on what was in front of me: my family, my clients, my coaches and my business.

While I can look to another gym or gym owner for inspiration or mentorship, focusing on how to inspire, motivate, or improve the people around me will take me further than wondering why my life doesn’t look like someone else’s life.

And to my friend, Shane: Thank you for many years of friendship and camaraderie. I wish you nothing but continued success however you define it.

Many years ago, I saw a couple that I knew go through a particularly rough period.

At the time, my understanding of their circumstances was from the perspective of only one of those two people.

As a result, my opinion on the circumstances, how each person handled it and the way it affected them afterwards was somewhat incomplete and, to be honest, a bit harsh and unfair.

Recently, I gained some insight on the same situation from the other person’s point of view, and it reframed the entire chain of events in a completely different light.

I realized, with the benefit of hindsight, that I was not well informed to live so long with that one-sided opinion.

When the time is right, I’ll need to apologize to the appropriate parties for how I handled that event.

I understand that what I wrote is intentionally vague and I did that to protect the innocent.

But in thinking about it, it’s a broader problem which I think we all struggle with in some capacity.

You’ve likely heard many times before that you never know what kind of battle someone is fighting, and to be kind to everyone since that lack of knowledge could be detrimental.

I’m privileged to run a business which caters to upwards of a hundred people that I interact and engage with on a daily/weekly basis. That’s a hundred different personalities, dynamics, backstories and challenges that all have to be navigated differently so that each person feels heard, accepted, welcomed and respected.

I don’t always get it right.

I try to not only hear different sides of stories but to put myself in the shoes of others, to remind myself about my own challenges and misgivings, and to ask as many questions as I can to understand what it’s like to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

It helps when you hear people talk about politics.

It helps when you hear people talk about religion.

It helps when you hear people talk about their sexual/social preferences and lifestyles.

It helps when you hear people talk about their culture and upbringing.

It helps when you hear people talk about their trauma.

There’s a lot I’m still trying to learn. Not just about myself but the people around me.

The funny thing is, I had another post roughly 80% done that I was going to post today but this thought just kept bothering me.

So, at a time when it seems like people are digging in their heels and demanding to be heard: ask thoughtful questions and learn what you can about why people see the world the way they do.

I might be crazy for thinking it but respect and compassion come a lot easier when you try to view the world from more than just your perspective.

I recently completed a course covering Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and the low FODMAP approach to working with IBS through Monash University.

The course, designed for dietitians, was a wealth of information. Having recently acquired my Level 5 diploma in advanced nutrition through Mac-Nutrition University, I was granted access to the Monash course.

One point of distinction is that, since I am not (nor do I aim to be) a registered dietitian, I cannot claim to be “certified” in the course, only that I passed and completed it.

Since IBS is something that comes up with a fair amount of frequency in my conversations with clients, I wanted to break down the course in as close to layman’s terms as I could for my readers and, hopefully, as a reference for those who suffer with IBS and may be looking for treatment options.

If you believe you need help with this approach, consider speaking with an RD or gastroenterologist for more in-depth care and guidance.

To offer a framework of functional bowel disorders, there are 3 potentially overlapping characteristics: abdominal pain, constipation and diarrhea. Within those characteristics, patients can present with symptoms of bloating and distension.

IBS currently affects somewhere between 3.8 and 9.2% of the worldwide population and there are three factors which may contribute to an increase in seeing the diagnosis: a leaning towards a more “western” diet, the increase of anxiety and depression (which affects how the brain and gut communicate) and more people seeking out treatment for their concerns.

IBS affects 1.5 times more women than men, it does appear more common in people with a lower socio-economic status and appears to be more prevalent in people under the age of 50.

I should mention that symptoms of IBS can improve and then get worse, new symptoms can develop over time and sometimes symptoms can be mild or more severe, all of which can have a direct effect on the quality of life of the patient since there can be periods of more urgency to go and this influencing the social life of each individual struggling with it.

It was noted in the coursework that IBS can affect the desire to travel and attend work events. It can also have a negative effect on sleep, diet and intimacy.

While it’s unclear what causes IBS, proposed mechanisms are: visceral hypersensitivity, changes in gut microbiota, changes in gut motility, anxiety/stress related symptoms, inflammation, immune system response, and intestinal permeability. There may also be a hereditary factor but this may have more to do with exposure and learned behaviors rather than a genetic link.

The most common symptoms of IBS are: bloating, abdominal distension, constipation, diarrhea, lower abdominal pain, excessive flatulence, and alternating bowel habits.

Practitioners who are diagnosing IBS will likely use some combination of the Rome criteria test to look at frequency of conditions and the Bristol stool chart to assess the consistency of bowel movements.

There are a series of red flags which may also contribute to diagnosis or point to something else happening with the body: unexplained weight loss, age of onset greater than 50 years, family history of bowel disease, rectal bleeding/anemia, nocturnal bowel motions, persistent daily diarrhea, recurrent vomiting, fever and progressive/severe symptoms.

Where circumstances can be further complicated is when IBS presents with symptoms similar to other conditions such as: inflammatory bowel disease, celiac disease, intestinal cancers, pelvic floor disorders, bile salt malabsorption, endocrine disorders, pancreatic exocrine insufficiency, endometriosis and diverticular disease. Generally, a family physician or gastroenterologist can administer a series of tests to rule out something more serious or to come closer to a diagnosis of IBS.

As of this writing, the diagnoses of candidiasis and non-celiac gluten/wheat sensitivity are controversial and not backed by high quality evidence. Also, fecal microbiota testing, fecal short-chain fatty acid testing, IgG food intolerance testing, salivary IgA, and intestinal permeability testing is not recommended in routine clinical practice.

Some practitioners may advise breath testing to diagnose conditions but currently the only breath test which appears to have clinical significance is the lactose breath test.

At this time, the therapies available to help with IBS include: certain medications such as anti-diarrheals, laxatives and antidepressants, dietary interventions (more on low FODMAP below), exercise, certain probiotics, psychotherapy (CBT and gut-directed hypnotherapy) and biofeedback therapy.

Anecdotally, some people associate an increase of IBS symptoms with fatty foods (fried foods, pizza, cream, etc.) In addition, certain proteins may also be problematic including β-casein (found in milk), rubisco (found in spinach), wheat-germ lectin, α-amylase/trypsin inhibitors (ATIs), and gluten. While some people may simply try to remove gluten from the diet, it’s unclear whether gluten is totally at fault or if the ATIs or fructans are the issue.

As for carbohydrates, the ones which appear to be implicated in an increase of IBS symptoms include: fiber, prebiotics, and short-chain carbohydrates (lactose, sorbitol, mannitol, fructose and oligosaccharides). Monash University pioneered the low FODMAP approach for IBS symptoms. FODMAP is the acronym for: Fermentable Oligo- Di- Mono-saccharides And Polyols.

For those who want a deeper dive into this approach, Monash has created an app which allows you to see and tailor which foods and servings of foods are most problematic for each individual and helps you tailor a plan specific to your needs. Search for “Monash University FODMAP diet” on your smart device to download.

In Phase 1 of the approach, it’s suggested that you trial for 2-6 weeks and swap “high” and “moderate” FODMAP foods for “low” foods. In Phase 2 (6-8 weeks) you’ll have a reintroduction period to determine what the body can tolerate. In Phase 3, you should have enough data to personalize a plan for yourself.

While this is not a comprehensive list and more options can be found within the app, I’ve given examples of foods which could be excluded in efforts to improve IBS symptoms:

Fructans: grapefruit, dates, onion, garlic, wheat/rye based bread, and falafels

GOS: green peas, black beans, navy beans, kidney beans, cashews, and pistachios

Sorbitol: apple, pear, avocado, apricot, blackberries, and plums

Mannitol: mushrooms, cauliflower, celery, and sweet potatoes

Fructose (in excess of glucose): mango, boysenberry, grapes, watermelon, asparagus, honey and fruit juice

Lactose: cow’s milk, yogurt, and custard

It should be noted again that just because you are temporarily removing a food to test against your symptoms, it does not mean that you can never have the food again. Rather, you may find that in the reintroduction phase, that you can tolerate smaller amounts of a given food and can learn your personal threshold for inclusion back into the diet.

As a reference, certain medications/supplements may present with GI symptoms and this may affect how your body reacts to a dietary intervention. Examples would be: antibiotics, codeine, iron, metformin and magnesium. If you’re currently taking any of these, work with your doctor to see if other options are available to minimize conflicting results.

In some cases, caffeine and alcohol may need to be eliminated to determine if the removal improves IBS symptoms. Since there is a correlation with stress and how stress can effect the digestive system, it should be recognized that exercise can be both a stress reliever and help with gut motility. Bear in mind that intense exercise can worsen symptoms so you may need to reduce intensity to gauge effectiveness of exercise in your regimen.

Also on the topic of stress, cognitive behavioral therapy, gut-directed hypnosis and having a meditation practice can all help improve feelings of stress and may have a correlation to improved IBS symptoms.

I’ll add in closing that due to the restrictive nature of the low FODMAP approach, working with an RD or gastroenterologist is recommended to make sure that you don’t develop micronutrient deficiencies along the way.

This course was of great interest to me due to changes we saw in my wife and her dietary needs over the last couple of years. There was a link to IBS and we frequently heard about the low FODMAP approach while she was seeking help. I’ll recommend again that you download the Monash app to see if it’s helpful for you and reiterate that the information in this post is not meant to replace the guidance of a doctor or dietitian.

Disclaimer: I receive no incentives for the app recommendation.

(Photo courtesy of Maddi Bazzocco)