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Growing up, I never recall hearing things from my parents that made me doubt my own abilities. Neither my mother nor my father would tell me things about myself that made it seem like I was incapable of being someone of value.

All of my unhappiness with myself seemed to come from other places. I would take every example of unrequited love with a desired or actual girlfriend and form some narrative that I just wasn’t good enough. I would fan those flames more every time I wasn’t picked for an athletic event at school. I would continue to think less of myself if I felt I didn’t have the intelligence to understand a class I was required to take.

And that inner voice would just gnaw at me:

“She doesn’t like you because you’re ugly.”

“You weren’t picked for the team because you can’t aim when you throw.”

“You don’t understand the equation because you’re stupid.”

No one told me these things directly. I told myself these things. Over and over and over again.

And every time Goodyear would transfer our family to a different state/country, I’d go through all of these feelings again.

I could even find a way to craft the narrative to say: “They don’t want you as a friend because you’re not cool enough and you don’t wear the cool clothes.”

I recall living in one place in particular where the social norms were so specific, even my mother had to convince my father that if he didn’t buy me a certain brand of clothing and/or get me involved in certain social functions, that I would never fit in in that town.

This would have been circa 1988.

Even my mother knew they had to play the game. The cliques were that apparent, so ingrained in that city.

And when you spend the better part of your adolescence telling yourself these stories, these fabricated stories about yourself, you not only start to believe them…you become them.

So, it should come as no surprise that as I got older these stories became my life. And my life became a mess.

Now I could take the fuel of that feeling of being unattractive, uncool, and lacking in talent and become something different. Now I was someone who believed all the bad things I said about myself. That fuel became the desire to want to end my life and the words I told myself were: You are not good enough, you have no value, your parents will be better off when you’re gone.

It didn’t matter (at the time) that I did indeed have some talent, that I was attractive (or more so than I told myself) and that people actually did care about me.

The story I began to craft for myself made it easier to self-destruct.

And in hindsight, it explains all of the drugs, all of the promiscuity, all of the infidelity, all of the lies and all of the misery.

I became the person even I could no longer trust or look at in the mirror.

For me, the coping mechanism was drugs. All of my unhappiness could vanish behind substances. For my clients (many of them), the coping mechanism is food, maybe alcohol, maybe medication or some combination of each.

Many of my clients suffer from those same feelings of inadequacy and it manifests into a body they can no longer be happy with and emotions they can no longer live with.

So, it shouldn’t surprise me when some of my clients can’t reach their goals. It’s a lot of self talk…a lot of very bad, very dark, very destructive self talk.

For them, it’s the voice that says “You are not worthy of success. You don’t deserve that body that you are working towards.”

And it paralyzes them. Just like it did me.

People ask me how I got clean. I got clean because I couldn’t live with that piece of shit human being I had become.

I stop lying because no part of my life improved due to my dishonesty with myself and with others.

And slowly, very slowly, I tried to focus on self-improvement.

Fitness started it for me but fitness didn’t save me. It just helped me get one foot in front of the other. Then I started eating better, then I started feeling better. So, my external appearance changed.

And then became the even slower change with what was inside me. I had to kill off this person who could find no value in himself and start asking myself that million dollar question:

How will you choose to live in this world?

When I became a father, that answer became a little bit clearer. I could not be the person I had been and raise a son in good conscience to be anything like me. I had to love myself first. Even if it was a fraction more than I could muster the day before.

Then I started this business and it was my opportunity to move the needle forward again. I had to be the person who transformed. I had to be, to some degree, a success, so I could coach my clients to success.

And my life, as I write this, is so much better. It’s so much more fulfilling.

I still fight that voice though. There is that nagging whisper in my mind that says “It can all come crashing down.”

And maybe that’s what keeps me going. I’ve lived a life where the only person who could tear me down was me. So, I had to start controlling the impact that voice had on my life.

It started with recognizing that maybe I wasn’t as bad of a person as I thought. Maybe I could put enough good back out into the world and establish some value, some worth, and get just a little bit of my dignity back.

And I don’t have it all figured out yet. I still look at this guy in the mirror and say: “You’re not what you should be.”

But I keep trying. I’m constantly in awe of these painfully small bits of improvement.

I guess it started with hating myself a little bit less every day so I could be less distracted by my negative self talk and motivated by helping others do the same.

And when you see this picture below of Jackson and myself, it’s another reminder (as it is for Sebastian): he deserves better than the person you used to be. Be the person you were meant to be.

“We Make Great People Greater”

 

 

 

He remains one of my most popular guests so I’m always honored to bring back Dr. Yoni Freedhoff to the show. His previous episodes were #37 and #136 respectively. On this week’s episode, we dive into the sensitive subject of the diets our children are exposed to and the best ways to navigate the food they eat for their health. If you’re a fellow parent, I can’t recommend this episode enough. To learn more about Dr. Yoni’s work, please check out his book “The Diet Fix” and his website www.weightymatters.ca To learn more about your host, check out www.jasonleenaarts.com and www.revfittherapy.com You can also like our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/revolutionaryou Download, subscribe, share with your friends and please take a moment to leave us an iTunes review.

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Confession: I am a stubborn asshole.

And I’ve realized over all these years here at RevFit that many of my clients are as well. (I mean that affectionately!)

Let me try and dig myself out of this one…can you hand me that shovel?

Male, female, young, old, most of us have this stubborn quality about us. It’s that side that says “I can do what I want, when I want!”

Especially if you are over the age of 18 which means that you are officially #adulting.

But with weight loss, this behavior can backfire tremendously.

It’s this side of stubbornness that says “Because my diet tells me I cannot have the cookie, I WILL EAT THE COOKIE! Screw you, diet! I am a grown-ass adult and I DO WHAT I WANT!”

And yes, you are a grown-ass adult and you CAN do what you want.

It’s a free country and you have free will and you are free to do anything you please. You just aren’t free from the consequences of those actions (or so says your waistline.)

I say…use your stubbornness to your advantage.

Rather than let your stubborn side demolish the fridge or the pantry, re-frame the quality to have a different type of defiance.

As in:

Because I am stubborn, I will follow the plan.

Because I am stubborn, I can say “No” without feeling guilty.

Because I am stubborn, I can succeed where others might fail.

Because I am stubborn, I’ll post a proverbial middle finger to the stats that say I can’t lose weight and keep it off.

Allow me to use my own stubborn asshole self to illustrate the point.

When Marissa was pregnant with Sebastian, it was the perfect environment for me to gain weight. After all, most men gain weight when their wives are expecting. But I had different goals for myself. I was at a weight I was comfortable with but I wanted to drop a few pounds and some body fat so that I could slowly rebuild and put on more muscle mass.

Here I was, in my wife’s third trimester, and as her cravings were increasing, I was pulling my calories back.

How did I do it?

Well, I kept a tighter eye on the calories I ate throughout the day so that I could still have a “normal” dinner with her at night. Most of her cravings for sweets and such were affecting her throughout the day while I was at work so it wasn’t within my field of vision anyway.

Even when she was admitted into the hospital to deliver Sebastian, I was at the mercy of the hospital food. Thankfully, they had the calories posted for each of the menu items and that made it easy to stick to the plan.

How much weight did I lose? About 9 pounds in about 6 weeks. Not too shabby for a skinny bastard like me!

Calories aside though. Every person has the perfect storm of events to derail them when they want to lose weight. Every person has friends, family, social lives, holidays, etc. that take the best of intentions, flip them upside down and say “Nope! You’re not gonna lose weight this week either!!”

Many of us are also pleasers. We want to say Yes to every opportunity thrown in our face:

“Wanna grab a beer and wings on Friday?” YES!

“Wanna go to the movies and get some buttered popcorn?” YES!

“Wanna help me bake some cookies for the kids so they can take them to school?” YES!

And hey, there’s nothing wrong with any of those things. They just aren’t the most helpful avenues when weight loss is the goal. I mean, can anyone just stop at one handful of popcorn? Are these people human? Give me that bucket, dammit!

As the proverb goes: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I’d say this applies pretty nicely to dieting. Let’s face it: dieting is hell, nobody likes it and the only people who try to convince you otherwise are worse than stubborn assholes. They’re just assholes!

Look at your stubbornness another way. Ever get into an argument with a loved one? You know, one of those ridiculous over-blown, stamp your feet and wave your hands and poke your mouth out arguments where there is no way in hell that your loved one is right? (I know, I have no idea what I’m talking about here…)

How do those arguments go? Well, while we’re sticking our bottom lip out that’s our stubbornness saying “I’m not going to give in to you. I’m right, you’re wrong. You owe me an apology/hug/kiss and don’t ever do it again!” You know, it’s a fairly unproductive stubbornness. Nobody “wins” when this happens. Let me rephrase that: it’s a short term win that usually requires some level of compromise to bring both sides back to reality.

This is the same stubbornness that leads you to the freezer for the pint of ice cream. It’s the less rational stubbornness. And yes, we all have this (some more than others.)

I’m not saying don’t be stubborn. I want you to be stubborn. But I want you to harness it differently.

Ever see one of those optical illusions where the artwork is designed to have two distinctly different pictures? When you first look at it, it appears to have one picture. But when you look at the caption, they ask can you see “this” or “that?” Same picture, different outcomes.

That’s how I want you to view your stubbornness. It’s not an inherently bad characteristic. It’s just one that gets utilized for ill effect.

If you’re on a weight loss path right now, look at the things you choose to get stubborn about. You can #adult and still follow a calorie plan. You can also pull your big kid pants up and throw away the junk food, stop pouring so much damn creamer in your coffee, drink some more water and stop saying Yes to every event that you know you’re going to blow your daily intake at if you attend.

A stubborn you can be synonymous with a healthier you. It just takes a candid chat with that stubborn inner asshole to say “I’m going to use you to my benefit…this time.”

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention another layer to the stubborn asshole inside of all of us. It’s the one that says “This is so unfair and I don’t want to do the things I have to do to lose the weight.”

I don’t know about you, but growing up I don’t recall liking chores. My parents had different things I could do to earn an allowance and as memory serves none of it was enjoyable. But what were my choices? Pitch a fit and say “No?” That never ended well and I would still be without my allowance.

Dieting is similar. Sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to do for the outcomes that you actually want. Come to think of it, it’s the same reality in our jobs, our relationships, and our lives. It’s just a given that (to quote Dave Tate) you have to “embrace the suck.”

So, my suggestion this week is to unleash your “stubborn asshole” and let him/her win the game. Now you know how to play it differently.

Below is a picture of our last workout crew with trainer, Luke Whittenberger (middle.) Luke is off to OSU to finish his Masters/Phd in physical therapy. He was a great asset to our studio in the year that he was here, he will be dearly missed but he will always be considered RevFit family. Knowing this crew as I do, they all have a healthy dose of stubbornness in them…and that’s just the way we love them.

“We Make Great People Greater”

For her third appearance on the show (see episodes #135 and #142), Dr. Susan Kleiner joins me to discuss some of her presentation from the 2019 Fitness Summit. She had a fascinating take on what’s been happening with grain production, manufacturing and how our bodies have, in turn, responded to them. An episode fully focused on grains had not been accomplished yet on this show and we dove in to it this week. Dr. Susan is always a wealth of great information and I know you won’t be disappointed with this one. To learn more about her work and to purchase her books, please visit http://www.drskleiner.com To learn more about your host, check out http://www.jasonleenaarts.com and http://www.revfittherapy.com You can also like our Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/revolutionaryou Download, subscribe, share with your friends and please take a moment to leave us an iTunes review.

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In theory, the key to weight loss is consume less, move more.

It sounds so simple, so frustratingly and insultingly simple.

Within that key to weight loss though, is a vast array of complications. Things that we as people and even we as coaches don’t always remember to account for.

Years ago, a former client of mine said “I wish I could lose weight for all the things I’m NOT eating.”

And therein lies the rub.

When you start trying to improve the way you eat, you have a lot of options available to you: food tracking, smaller portions, measuring cups, food scales, habit tracking, food delivery (a la Hello Fresh), reduction of liquid calories, etc.

This doesn’t even go into the ridiculous amount of TYPES of diets: vegan, keto, IF (intermittent fasting), low carb, paleo, carnivore, raw food, Whole30, etc.

But let’s start simply with just change.

One of the first obstacles is the admission that YES, I am eating more than my body can handle…thus weight gain. (I am for the sake of some brevity, removing the rare occurrences of a medical condition(s) that could affect weight gain.)

Because we, as people, are terribly forgetful when it comes to what we eat, sometimes the changes we make are not significant enough.

Let’s look at this from a numbers standpoint for a moment.

Assume that your body, at maintenance, requires 2000 calories to hold steady at your current weight.

If you have been eating over 2000 calories consistently over time, without changing your daily activity level, weight will invariably go UP.

If you have been eating under 2000 calories consistently over time, without changing your daily activity level, weight will invariably go DOWN.

But, what if you’re well over your maintenance? We live in a day and age where portion sizes have gone up so significantly that many of us have literally no idea what a “proper” portion size is. And as portion sizes have gone up, so have our appetites. The hungrier we get, the more we want to eat.

Then you add in things like: stress, poor sleep, hyper-palatable, highly processed foods that are exceptionally easy to overconsume and you have a perfect storm of reasons why weight has gone up.

So, when we, as people, try to improve our eating habits we sometimes only focus on the fact that it is “better” than it used to be.

Let’s go back to our hypothetical caloric intake.

Let’s say that despite the 2000 calories of maintenance you “should” be at or below, you’ve been steadily increasing over time your intake and you, on average consume 3000 calories a day.

Weight has gone up, you are not satisfied with the number on the scale and you elect to make some changes.

What if those changes, significant by most accounts, only adds up to 700 calories a day that you remove?

Now, the 3000 calories that your body has acclimated to has been reduced to 700. You are still in surplus by 300 calories. You are still not losing weight.

And all you can think is: “But I’m doing so much better than I used to!”

And you would be right.

It just wouldn’t be enough.

Not to mention, the drop from 3000 calories to 2300 will be noticeable. You will be hungry. That hunger will aggravate you to no end.

And the truth of the matter, is that this same individual likely needs to be even lower…just.to.lose.weight.

And I’m talking, somewhere to the tune of 1600-1700 calories a day.

Imagine that for a moment. Taking a body that has adjusted to 3000 calories a day and driving it down by nearly 50%. Significant barely touches the surface.

A skeptical person might say: “I hear you. But there’s no way I’m eating 1000 calories above my maintenance.”

Maybe not.

But how closely have you measured?

How exact are those measurements?

How consistently are you there?

Do you eat to plan for three days, overeat for a day or two, get back on plan for two days and then wonder why you haven’t lost weight?

There are other things that matter too: the right amount of water (which is hotly debated by the way), the volume of your bowel movements (are you getting quality fiber in your diet), and the appropriate balance of macronutrients (protein, fats, carbs) that allows you to feel and perform your best.

I recently had this conversation with a client who swears as the day is long that they have been eating the right amount of calories to guarantee weight loss and the weight went up? Why? What gives?

For starters, this same client was chronically dehydrated due to a plethora of events going on with their job. You add dehydration and a lack of regular bowel movements and the body is literally retaining weight in the form of fluids and waste…POUNDS of retention.

Is is frustrating? It absolutely is.

Because we want to believe that it is just a calorie conversation. And it is…mostly.

But weight loss, or I should more accurately state, fat loss, is akin to putting pieces of a puzzle together. You might get the sense of the picture of a completed puzzle if you’re missing a piece or two but you won’t see the WHOLE picture.

So, if you’re frustrated with your results, drill down the details. Pull all of your puzzle pieces together and look harder. Ask yourself where anything could be slightly awry.

Sometimes “better” gets you there.

But sometimes, “better” needs to be better than that.

Below is my friend and hybrid (online and face-to-face) client, Scott. Despite a hectic work and travel schedule, he’s down 15 lbs. He’s halfway to his ideal weight. Scott has found his “better” and…it’s working.

“We Make Great People Greater”

 

 

 

 

In this week’s bonus episode, I am joined by author and cancer survivor, Lydia Slaby. Her book “Wait, It Gets Worse” came out in March of this year and her story is beyond inspiring. She discusses how cancer affected her and her marriage, as well as the unpredictable detours that occurred after diagnosis and how she is living her life today. To learn more about Lydia’s work and purchase her book, visit www.lydiaslaby.com You can also connect with her on social media at www.instagram.com/lydiaslaby To learn more about your host, visit www.jasonleenaarts.com and www.revfittherapy.com You can also like our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/revolutionaryou Download, subscribe, share with your friends and please take a moment to leave us an iTunes review.

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When Dr. Lisa Lewis and her husband, Tony Gentilcore, joined me last year for their debut on the show (episode #157) I knew they would be returning again. Having just returned from the 2019 Fitness Summit, Lisa was one of the presenters there. She gave a fantastic presentation on what we know regarding motivation and how to coach our clients to success. There was one slide in particular which I felt deserved an episode all on it’s own. So, I welcome back Dr. Lisa this week to talk about the stages of motivation. We use actual client scenarios to describe where motivation can be in our lives and how it’s serving to get us closer to our goals. To learn more about Lisa’s work, please visit http://www.drlewisconsulting.com To learn more about your host, check out http://www.jasonleenaarts.com and http://www.revfittherapy.com You can also like our Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/revolutionaryou Download, subscribe, share with your friends and please take a moment to leave us an iTunes review.

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Coming back from my second trip down to Kansas City for the annual Fitness Summit, it was great to see faces I had the privilege of connecting with last year as well as people who I had been clamoring to meet for some time.

It was even more exciting for me to see that of the 13 speakers (plus our host, Lou Schuler) over half of those presenting have been kind enough to take time out of their day to join me on the podcast at some point over the last few years.

So, while there are literally hundreds of people operating in and around the fitness industry who I think you should be following, I wanted to give a special shout out to those who I got to connect with this year so that you can learn more about them. As I go through the list (in order of Summit appearance), I’ll link up the episode(s) they did with me on the show if you’d like some more insight into who they are and what they bring to the table.

I will also give honorable mention to those who have not been on the show yet because there is a good chance some of them may be joining me in the future: Ryan Ketchum, Nick Sorrell, Carolyn MacDonald, Bret Contreras, Lee Boyce and Mike T. Nelson. Thank you to all of you for some great presentations!

Our Master of Ceremonies was none other than Lou Schuler. I have been following Lou for the better part of my career in this industry. He has co-authored so many influential fitness books as well as been the author of countless articles contributing no B.S. fitness advice for the fitness enthusiast and my fellow trainers. Our episode together was released way back in December of 2016, which means he’s long overdue to come back on the show. I can’t speak highly enough about the books he’s written and I’ve always enjoyed everything I’ve consumed of Lou’s work. You can hear our episode together HERE

Kelly Coffey was the first to present at TFS this year. I have only been following her work for a few years but I have always found her work something that deeply resonates with me. Like me, Kelly is a recovering addict. She has also successfully maintained over 150lbs of weight loss and coaches people from all over the world in efforts to help them take control over their health. What I love about her approach is she has a greater understanding of addictive behaviors than most coaches and is very habit-focused in what she teaches. She and I have done two excellent episodes together and every time I get to talk to her, I learn something new that makes me appreciate her and the work she does even more. I can assure you, she will definitely be invited back on the show again. You can hear our first episode together HERE and our second episode HERE.

Dr. Lisa Lewis was next up and, while I was less familiar overall with her work, she had an exceptional presentation with regard to coaching and motivation. She’s married to one of the most acclaimed strength coaches in the industry, Tony Gentilcore, and the two of them were kind enough to join me together on the show several months ago. I will tip my hat in advance and tell you that by time you read this, I will be close to releasing another episode with just Lisa so we can dive further into some of what she presented regarding motivation and goal setting. And for those of you who live somewhat close to RevFit, keep your eyes peeled for the official announcement of Tony and Lisa bringing one of their workshops to our studio. You will NOT want to miss it! You can hear the episode we did together HERE

Melody Schoenfeld put together a great hands-on workshop with focus on isometric work and new twists on range of motion challenges to spice up exercises like push-ups and pull-ups. When she’s not bending steel, tearing up phone books or decks of cards, Melody is wreaking havoc on stage (she’s a musician) and studio with her clients. She is also one of my favorite resources when I have questions about the vegan lifestyle as well, something she wrote a book on and we got to discuss when she came on my show. You can hear that episode HERE 

Greg Nuckols kicked off the second day of the event with an excellent talk about the intersection of strength and relative size. Greg has always had a love of dissecting research and presenting it to the masses in ways that the science geeks can appreciate and the in-depth enthusiast. He heads Stronger By Science (linked at his name) and is part of the team that produces the monthly research review MASS (highly recommended.) I got to see him speak last year as well and his focus was on female strength training. I was so impressed by the information that when I brought him on the show, that was our topic to dive into. You can hear that episode HERE.

Dr. Susan Kleiner is a legend in the nutrition field and she delivered a fantastic presentation on grains and considerations for how they should be in our diet. She has been on my show twice as we were promoting her newest book The New Power Eating. Both episodes are excellent and she is lined up for a third appearance so we can circle back to her thoughts on grain consumption so keep your ears open for that episode. Our first episode together is HERE and the second one is HERE 

Leigh Peele, and I don’t say this lightly, has been my biggest advocate in the industry. When she first came on my show, I was already a huge fan of her work and over the years, as we have gotten to understand more about how each of us coach clients to be the best versions of themselves, my respect and admiration for her has grown by leaps and bounds. I say with privilege that she is not only an inspiration, she is genuinely a friend. Her presentation actually touched on some things we spoke on in our very first episode together, which is critical thinking. We have done three episodes together. Two of which were with Leigh solo (first one is HERE and our most recent is HERE) We also did a joint episode with another fitness professional you should be following, Meghan Callaway That episode can be found HERE 

Last but not least, James Krieger was the keynote speaker. He is one of the most sought after speakers in our industry and for good reason. James, like the aforementioned Greg Nuckols, has a knack and affinity for sifting through mountains of data and research to give the public a clearer understanding of what the latest in exercise science is unveiling. He oversees the research review Weightology which is linked up at his name above. I find it to be a complementary product to MASS and I am personally subscribed to both reviews. James spoke on the principles of hypertrophy in his presentation and gave a considerable amount of thought to the myriad ways that one can train to maximize size and strength. He has been so generous with his time to also be on my show three times. His only solo appearance was HERE We also did a joint episode with Stephan Guyenet, someone else you should definitely be following. That episode, which is to date my second most downloaded show ever is HERE My most recent episode with James also included our buddy, Mike Howard, and that episode can be found HERE. 

If you were to completely unfollow every health professional in your social circle and only be subscribed to the individuals listed above, believe me, you would be light years beyond most with the knowledge at your ear drums and fingertips. I’ve barely brushed the surface of all of the greats in this industry but this is a fantastic “starter pack” if you want a glimpse of some of the people I can call friends, mentors and guides. I will definitely be shouting out more movers and shakers in the future, hence the reason to call this post Part One. For the time being, you’ll have plenty of wisdom to sift through with all of these folks.

It’s been an honor to have the aforementioned on my show and is yet another reminder of why it’s been a pleasure and labor of love to continue to put it out week after week.

Here’s the lineup as we were finishing the seminar. Thank you to all who came down, put in the time and continued to lead the industry to better places.

 

As many of my fellow trainers know, sometimes we have to refer out to other health and wellness practitioners to get more in-depth care when issues arise beyond our scope of practice. Locally, I’ve been fortunate to have chiropractors, massage therapists, physical therapists, etc. to refer out to when needed. I am joined today by Colorado based chiropractor, Dr. Ann Barter to talk about this type of collaborative care. She recognized in her own field where different approaches could be complementary and effective. Using professionals like I mentioned above as well as medical doctors to work in unison to help patients thrive, Dr. Barter has been extremely successful in understanding how several parties can work together for the same end goal of the patient. To learn more about Dr. Barter’s work, visit www.altfammed.com and www.fearlesshealthpodcast.com To learn more about your host, check out www.jasonleenaarts.com and www.revfittherapy.com You can also like our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/revolutionaryou Download, subscribe, share with your friends and please take a moment to leave us an iTunes review.

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I was raised by a father who loved and respected his mother.
I was raised by a mother who loves and respects hers.

It’s been the rarest of occasions that I have ever seen a man on either side of my family disrespect the matriarch.

In full transparency, I definitely had my ages where I was more defiant than others, more selfish than others and more inclined to argue with my mother rather than listen to her. Most of that happened in my adolescence but some of it carried on.

It’s been over eight years since my father left this world and, in many ways, his passing brought me closer to my mother. She has always been a symbol of strength, compassion, selflessness and love to me and for me.

So, when I’ve heard the term “mama’s boy”, I’ve seen it as a term of endearment.

Whenever I hear stories from people who no longer speak to or associate with their mothers, it makes me feel legitimately sorry for them. The truth of the matter is that some people are truly toxic individuals and just because you brought a child into this world, doesn’t mean you were fit to be a parent. That is a sad and unfortunate reality.

Then of course, there are all of those people who have lost their mothers. My deepest condolences if your mother is not here in this world today.

I can’t imagine my life without my Mom.

And this goes far beyond my own relationship.

I look at Jackson and the relationship he has with his mother, Megan. He adores her and she him. She has sacrificed and compromised greatly to give him as much as any boy could possibly need. I love that he loves his mother. And he will never hear me speak a disrespectful word about her. On those few occasions where I have seen him act out around her, I have to remind him: “Jackson, be nice to your mother. Be sweet to your mother.”

And with Sebastian, it’s no different. He is the light in his mother’s eyes. Sebastian loves Marissa and Marissa loves being his Mom. The same circumstances apply. Marissa sacrifices and compromises a great deal to be able to spend time with Sebastian and give him what he needs to mature and grow. I’ll never forget the night before he was born in the hospital when Marissa went into AFib and the thought crossed my mind “What if she leaves this world and I have to raise him by myself with no mother to care for him?” Marissa would have made that sacrifice. Thankfully, we never had to see that result occur.

I’ll raise my boys to the best of my capacity to love, cherish and respect their mothers. I will, when the time is right, share with them times when I was not respectful to women so they can better appreciate that it was not appropriate behavior.

I think a world where men have more appreciation for women leads to a better world, a more loving world, and a kinder world. My mother taught me those lessons. My father did too. And it went beyond what they taught me. They treated their own mothers with the same love and respect they passed on to me.

Knowing all of these things is what makes it extra special at RevFit when we can make our own impact by making our moms stronger, more confident and more capable.

If you are in position to remind your mother of how much you love her and how thankful you are that she brought you into this world, I encourage you to do so. Not just because it’s Mother’s Day this weekend but because she very likely gave up more of her time, effort, energy and love to make you the person you are today.

Which means, in a roundabout way, every day is Mother’s Day.

To my Mom, I love you. I thank you.