Author: jleenaarts

If you know me, you know how much I love music.

You probably also know that I can be unfairly and unreasonably opinionated about music as well.

I remember sometime in the 80s, when I could go to the store and buy cassettes on my own, and start to build my own little collection of music. That transitioned into CDs, mp3s, vinyl and now, it’s just some odd combination of digital and vinyl on hand.

In my heart, rock and roll will always rule the roost: punk, classic rock, metal, Britpop, grunge, power pop, I love so much of it.

But I’ve also held a special place for rap as well.

When it started for me in the 80s, it was rap that was mostly clean lyrically and meant for breakdancing. There was also the rise of Run DMC, Beastie Boys and LL Cool J.

By time I hit middle school, rap was changing into more violent and vulgar lyrical content along with the stamping of: Explicit Lyrics/Parental Advisory on the cover. Most of what I started to listen to then was 2 Live Crew, N.W.A., and Too Short. I typically had to hide these cassettes from my parents because the vast majority of the songs would not have been met with their approval.

In 1990, we were transferred to Brasil with my father’s job and rap music, surprisingly, fell out of favor with me for a handful of years. The early 90s would see the rise and popularity of such artists as: Wu-Tang Clan, 2Pac, The Notorious B.I.G., Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and A Tribe Called Quest (among many others). Most of these, I have to admit, I did not appreciate during their most popular eras. I had given my life (and ears) back to rock music and it would take until the late 90s before I would come back around.

That turning point happened with Eminem, an artist who made his landmark because of the aforementioned Dr. Dre. I’d carry my fascination with Eminem into the next big signing of Dre, 50 Cent, in the early 2000s.

Over the next decade or so, I’d continue my ever expanding palette with different rap and rock artists and in 2012, I heard about the next rap superstar that would be coming up under Dr. Dre: Kendrick Lamar.

Before I go any further, I need to explain a little “problem” I have with music.

For as long as I can remember, if I hear a song and I can’t get into the voice of the person singing or rapping, the song/artist/band/album is a no-go for me. The voice is always the deal breaker.

And, being candid, I’ve backpedaled on artists before. I recall not liking Ian Curtis (Joy Division), Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, Dave Matthews, Jack White (The White Stripes) and probably many others.

And then, sometimes, it’s the amount of exposure, or the circumstance that gets me to turn back and hear someone in a different light, and then: I’m all in. Such was the case of all of those aforementioned artists.

That’s exactly how it came to be with Kendrick Lamar as well. I heard him for the first time in 2012, when his hit album “Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City” came out. I knew that Dre had brought him under as wing, and being someone who had followed Dre from all the way back in his time with N.W.A. in the 80s, I knew that if Dre liked him, I’d like him as well.

Except, I didn’t.

I didn’t like Kendrick’s voice, and, while I could appreciate that he was a talented rapper, it was no-go for me.

In 2015, Kendrick released an album called “To Pimp A Butterfly” and the critics were absolutely raving about it. It combined hip-hop, jazz, funk, r&b and blues and I figured I would give him another chance.

I could tell that it was a different kind of rap album than what I was accustomed to.

But I got a few tracks in and I just couldn’t finish it. His voice, again, was more than I could handle.

Over the next several years, Kendrick would have cameos on songs, release the Pulitzer prize winning album “Damn” and no matter what I heard, I just didn’t like his music.

Until 2022.

In that year, Kendrick released an album called “Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers.” For no particular reason, I listened to it.

And after about 3 songs in, I was floored.

Kendrick’s voice hadn’t changed. In fact, he was utilizing even more changes in the way he would rap his lyrics.

What did change, for me, was the content.

Kendrick was writing an album dealing with depression, mental health, childhood trauma, marital discourse, fatherhood, therapy, and much more.

And he did it within the context of an album that arguably has no “hit” songs on it.

It is, even to this day, a profoundly uncomfortable album to listen to.

Never mind the fact that the music and the production is beautiful.

The lyrics are uncomfortable to digest almost from beginning to end.

And, if I’m being honest, there is probably not a rock album that can compare to the subject matter.

At that point, what I heard made me go backwards and try to listen to the other albums with a fresh set of ears.

And when I did, then I became a fan.

I’d listen to Kendrick on and off over the next couple of years but “Mr. Morale” remained the album I would come back to.

That is, until his well-publicized feud with pop/rap superstar Drake happened this year.

Drake is an artist that I’ve admittedly never been crazy about. I’d find a couple of songs of his that I could get into but his unique combination of rapping/singing just didn’t resonate with me.

However, he has had a wildly successful career and is without question one of the most popular artists of this generation.

When the feud between Kendrick and Drake began in March of this year, I wasn’t quite sure what to think of it and by time it hit it’s boiling point in May, I got so thoroughly engrossed in the beef that I made little time for any other type of music. It was the most excited I’d been to be engaged in rap music in years.

While the rap genre has historically had a colorful association with two artists who can lyrically spar with each other, this particular battle made national news.

And it led to me spending hours and hours digesting analyses of the lyrics, the impact that it was having on the genre, loads of conspiracy theories and countless replays of the diss tracks themselves to understand what was happening.

I got so lost in all of it, that I kept going back through Kendrick’s albums and circulating through each one over and over again.

The beef itself appears to have ended but my fascination with Kendrick’s work has only been amplified.

While it’s never been uncommon for me to find a song or artist that I like and listen repeatedly to for days on end, usually after a couple of weeks I’ve worn myself out and I have to move on to something else.

That has not happened with Kendrick’s music.

Each album has a completely different feel and each one takes you on a very different journey. Every time I’ve felt the need to skip a song on an album (something I would do under any normal circumstance), I just get lost again in the actual feel of what that album represents. So, I continue in the sequence it was meant to be in.

This may seem rather silly to you. I know that I tend to geek out on music more than most people I know. That part I’m accustomed to. What’s been the strangest for me is not tiring out on what is genuinely a small catalog of music to pull from.

I can’t promise that if you like rap music that you’ll like what Kendrick has to offer. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.

I can’t promise that if you’re not a rap fan, that listening to Kendrick will make you change your mind. The problem is, if you like what he’s doing, you’ll be hard pressed to find others who can compare.

At some point, I know that I’ll need to start expanding my listening again. I’ve felt almost apologetic to the rest of my collection because I’ve basically ignored it over the last several months.

And if you want to understand the magnitude of not just Kendrick’s place in rap music but also what that Drake feud could mean to the genre, I’d encourage any music fan to check out this video on YouTube for further explanation. Yes, it’s 3.5 hours long. Yes, it’s totally worth watching. As of this writing, it’s been viewed 2.7 million times and it’s only been out for three weeks.

I don’t always take these kinds of detours on this blog but every so often I need to step out of the fitness/health/nutrition topics to expand on something else.

So, in many ways, Kendrick’s music has changed me because I can’t recall the last time I put so much of a time investment in any one artist. The fact is, I am not Kendrick’s target audience. I’m a white, middle class guy who grew up in the suburbs. I don’t have much connection to Kendrick’s life experience.

But I think, as any true artist should, they can inspire a multitude of people regardless of who they are and where they come from.

If this experience has “ruined” me, in any way, it’s because I’ve yet to find a way to stop listening.

My only hope for you is that you find an artist that you can thoroughly get engrossed in as well. I genuinely feel bad for folks who can’t say something along the lines of: “That album changed my life.”

Our tastes don’t have to be aligned but if you have that experience, then we’re more alike than otherwise.

In my mind, I’m telling myself that this will be a short post this week.

I know that many people either currently are tracking or have tracked macros before for fat loss success.

One thing I’ve found over the years is that it’s easily over-complicated and not only can it ruin your relationship with food but you find yourself playing “macro Tetris” (Credit to my friend and client, Theresa for that one).

So, let’s start with a quick foundation.

Using an online calorie calculator to estimate what your body burns in a day, find a deficit that works for you.

I’ll use myself as an example.

I burn approximately 2800 calories in a regular work day. If I wanted to lose fat but I wanted to keep up with a higher activity level, I would aim for a smaller deficit (let’s say 10%). That would put me loosely in line with 2500 a day.

If I wanted to lose fat but I wasn’t particularly active, I would experiment with a larger deficit (let’s say 20-30%). That puts me in line with 1960-2240 per day.

The very first macro I want to set (regardless of the size of my deficit) is my protein. I personally like macro ranges as opposed to macro targets. For one, agonizing over each and every gram isn’t worth the frustration and in all honesty, close enough is good enough.

To find a decent protein range, I’ll take my bodyweight in kilograms, multiplied by 1.2-1.6g. In my case, that puts me somewhere between 76-102g per day. I know myself pretty well and I’m well acclimated to a high(er) protein diet, so on average I already consume 120-140g per day. That’s an amount that satisfies me.

For the purposes of fat loss, setting calories and protein are the two most important variables. Literally anything can be done with carbs and fats to fill out the rest of my daily intake and as long as I stay in a deficit, I’ll be fine.

I’ll slip in a few little details which can make fat loss more sustainable during the dieting process:

-Try not to let fat drop below 20-25% of total calories. Ideally, saturated fat should make up less of the total intake with more fat coming from poly/mono-unsaturated fats.

-Within carbs, aim for a variety of fiber sources and limit your added sugars.

-If you’re not losing fat, you are not in a deficit. And, it is much easier for some people to stay in a deficit than it is for others.

-Calorie counting and macro tracking have been found to be contraindicated for those who struggle with disordered eating. Please consider the help of a therapist to work through the disordered eating behaviors first.

Need my help? Drop me a line.

(Photo courtesy of Gardie Design)

You’re reading this on the week of Sebastian’s 7th birthday.

I asked him what he was looking forward to about turning 7 and his best answer was: first grade.

So, here’s the scoop on what Sebastian’s life has been like since his last birthday…

He had a complete blast during kindergarten and made friends he will likely continue to connect with for years to come.

He took up baseball, tennis, swimming and it’s looking like he’ll be playing flag football in the fall. So far, he loves all of it but it’s hard to tell if he loves the activity itself or just being around other kids.

He is still obsessed with video games, namely Minecraft and Roblox on his Nintendo Switch and Metaquest.

And, when he’s not playing video games, he’s watching streaming shows where he can see “influencers” conquer levels and teach command codes that help him get better at his favorite games.

He is still very much into science, science projects, the solar system and the weather.

He’s not as much into playing his records as he used to be, but he does still like to tinker with an acoustic guitar and his electronic drum set. Those of you who may remember the line in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Ferris himself claims: Never had one lesson! Yep, that’s how it is in our house too. Sebastian seems perfectly content to find his own groove and make music that sounds good to him. You can pray for our neighbors…

Frankly, Sebastian is quick as a whip and it’s with a fair amount of frequency that his mother and I make the statement that he’s probably the smartest person in the house.

Within the year, we had to say goodbye to our pitbull, Bowser, but we weren’t without a pet for long. The last four months have been acclimating to our boxer puppy, Bubbles, who just turned seven months old. Sebastian loves her.

He still adores his big brother, Jackson, and he just seems to love all kids in general. He can be shy from time to time, but once he gets comfortable, it’s hard to break him away from playtime.

I know that basically every parent is biased about their child(ren) but I have to say (in speaking for both of us) that Sebastian is just a really sweet little guy.

So, Sebastian, as there will be many ways we’ll celebrate your birthday this month, know that we love you and know how proud we are to call you our own.

My friend and fellow coach, Shane McLean, is shutting down his garage gym as he and his family prepare to move to a different state.

He recently made a post about it and I sent him a message giving some love and support his way.

If you don’t know Shane, let me share just a small bit about him. From my time knowing him in the fitness industry, he’s a guy who rarely has a negative thing to say about anyone. He supports a wealth of people in this industry and (from what I can tell), Shane’s the kind of guy you always want on your side. He’s caring, compassionate, smart and he always wants to see you succeed.

Reading that he had to shut his business down was a tough thing to digest. I know how hard it can be to run a successful fitness facility.

In his post, he began to question what success meant to him as he embarks on this next chapter of his career and life.

Within the context of my message to him, was something else I wanted to share with all of you.

Many of us (myself included) can find ourselves using the success of others as a gauge for where we should be.

We can easily forget that the success of someone else might come at a price we are not willing to pay.

I know, for example, what the revenue is of my business and I know that, based on size alone, that number is something to be proud of (especially since we’re not in a metropolitan area). It would be easy for me to look at another gym and ask: Why can’t I be as successful as them?

But in asking that question, I have to consider other factors:

-What did they sacrifice to get there?

-What square footage do they have?

-How many coaches work there?

-How long have they been profitable?

-Does the owner have a life or is the gym their life?

I could ask other questions too, but the answers to those first questions can tell me a lot.

In my message to Shane, I knew that he had to look at success through a different lens. Did he improve the lives of the people he worked with? Did he grow as a man, a husband, a father and a coach? Did he learn valuable skills which he can later utilize in shifting his business into another state or into online coaching?

And this post isn’t just about Shane, or me, or fitness business owners.

It’s about you.

It’s about taking inventory of where you are in life: with your health, your social life, your finances, and your relationships.

If you see someone who’s met an ideal that you think you should be at, what price did they pay to get there?

If someone has a body that you compare yourself against, how reasonable is that comparison? Who are their parents? How hard do they have to work to maintain that body? What drugs/supplements do they have to take? What type of diet regimen are they following?

Most importantly, what are you willing to do to get closer to that ideal?

I learned that for me to keep some sanity along the way, I needed to focus on what was in front of me: my family, my clients, my coaches and my business.

While I can look to another gym or gym owner for inspiration or mentorship, focusing on how to inspire, motivate, or improve the people around me will take me further than wondering why my life doesn’t look like someone else’s life.

And to my friend, Shane: Thank you for many years of friendship and camaraderie. I wish you nothing but continued success however you define it.

Many years ago, I saw a couple that I knew go through a particularly rough period.

At the time, my understanding of their circumstances was from the perspective of only one of those two people.

As a result, my opinion on the circumstances, how each person handled it and the way it affected them afterwards was somewhat incomplete and, to be honest, a bit harsh and unfair.

Recently, I gained some insight on the same situation from the other person’s point of view, and it reframed the entire chain of events in a completely different light.

I realized, with the benefit of hindsight, that I was not well informed to live so long with that one-sided opinion.

When the time is right, I’ll need to apologize to the appropriate parties for how I handled that event.

I understand that what I wrote is intentionally vague and I did that to protect the innocent.

But in thinking about it, it’s a broader problem which I think we all struggle with in some capacity.

You’ve likely heard many times before that you never know what kind of battle someone is fighting, and to be kind to everyone since that lack of knowledge could be detrimental.

I’m privileged to run a business which caters to upwards of a hundred people that I interact and engage with on a daily/weekly basis. That’s a hundred different personalities, dynamics, backstories and challenges that all have to be navigated differently so that each person feels heard, accepted, welcomed and respected.

I don’t always get it right.

I try to not only hear different sides of stories but to put myself in the shoes of others, to remind myself about my own challenges and misgivings, and to ask as many questions as I can to understand what it’s like to see the world through someone else’s eyes.

It helps when you hear people talk about politics.

It helps when you hear people talk about religion.

It helps when you hear people talk about their sexual/social preferences and lifestyles.

It helps when you hear people talk about their culture and upbringing.

It helps when you hear people talk about their trauma.

There’s a lot I’m still trying to learn. Not just about myself but the people around me.

The funny thing is, I had another post roughly 80% done that I was going to post today but this thought just kept bothering me.

So, at a time when it seems like people are digging in their heels and demanding to be heard: ask thoughtful questions and learn what you can about why people see the world the way they do.

I might be crazy for thinking it but respect and compassion come a lot easier when you try to view the world from more than just your perspective.

I recently completed a course covering Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and the low FODMAP approach to working with IBS through Monash University.

The course, designed for dietitians, was a wealth of information. Having recently acquired my Level 5 diploma in advanced nutrition through Mac-Nutrition University, I was granted access to the Monash course.

One point of distinction is that, since I am not (nor do I aim to be) a registered dietitian, I cannot claim to be “certified” in the course, only that I passed and completed it.

Since IBS is something that comes up with a fair amount of frequency in my conversations with clients, I wanted to break down the course in as close to layman’s terms as I could for my readers and, hopefully, as a reference for those who suffer with IBS and may be looking for treatment options.

If you believe you need help with this approach, consider speaking with an RD or gastroenterologist for more in-depth care and guidance.

To offer a framework of functional bowel disorders, there are 3 potentially overlapping characteristics: abdominal pain, constipation and diarrhea. Within those characteristics, patients can present with symptoms of bloating and distension.

IBS currently affects somewhere between 3.8 and 9.2% of the worldwide population and there are three factors which may contribute to an increase in seeing the diagnosis: a leaning towards a more “western” diet, the increase of anxiety and depression (which affects how the brain and gut communicate) and more people seeking out treatment for their concerns.

IBS affects 1.5 times more women than men, it does appear more common in people with a lower socio-economic status and appears to be more prevalent in people under the age of 50.

I should mention that symptoms of IBS can improve and then get worse, new symptoms can develop over time and sometimes symptoms can be mild or more severe, all of which can have a direct effect on the quality of life of the patient since there can be periods of more urgency to go and this influencing the social life of each individual struggling with it.

It was noted in the coursework that IBS can affect the desire to travel and attend work events. It can also have a negative effect on sleep, diet and intimacy.

While it’s unclear what causes IBS, proposed mechanisms are: visceral hypersensitivity, changes in gut microbiota, changes in gut motility, anxiety/stress related symptoms, inflammation, immune system response, and intestinal permeability. There may also be a hereditary factor but this may have more to do with exposure and learned behaviors rather than a genetic link.

The most common symptoms of IBS are: bloating, abdominal distension, constipation, diarrhea, lower abdominal pain, excessive flatulence, and alternating bowel habits.

Practitioners who are diagnosing IBS will likely use some combination of the Rome criteria test to look at frequency of conditions and the Bristol stool chart to assess the consistency of bowel movements.

There are a series of red flags which may also contribute to diagnosis or point to something else happening with the body: unexplained weight loss, age of onset greater than 50 years, family history of bowel disease, rectal bleeding/anemia, nocturnal bowel motions, persistent daily diarrhea, recurrent vomiting, fever and progressive/severe symptoms.

Where circumstances can be further complicated is when IBS presents with symptoms similar to other conditions such as: inflammatory bowel disease, celiac disease, intestinal cancers, pelvic floor disorders, bile salt malabsorption, endocrine disorders, pancreatic exocrine insufficiency, endometriosis and diverticular disease. Generally, a family physician or gastroenterologist can administer a series of tests to rule out something more serious or to come closer to a diagnosis of IBS.

As of this writing, the diagnoses of candidiasis and non-celiac gluten/wheat sensitivity are controversial and not backed by high quality evidence. Also, fecal microbiota testing, fecal short-chain fatty acid testing, IgG food intolerance testing, salivary IgA, and intestinal permeability testing is not recommended in routine clinical practice.

Some practitioners may advise breath testing to diagnose conditions but currently the only breath test which appears to have clinical significance is the lactose breath test.

At this time, the therapies available to help with IBS include: certain medications such as anti-diarrheals, laxatives and antidepressants, dietary interventions (more on low FODMAP below), exercise, certain probiotics, psychotherapy (CBT and gut-directed hypnotherapy) and biofeedback therapy.

Anecdotally, some people associate an increase of IBS symptoms with fatty foods (fried foods, pizza, cream, etc.) In addition, certain proteins may also be problematic including β-casein (found in milk), rubisco (found in spinach), wheat-germ lectin, α-amylase/trypsin inhibitors (ATIs), and gluten. While some people may simply try to remove gluten from the diet, it’s unclear whether gluten is totally at fault or if the ATIs or fructans are the issue.

As for carbohydrates, the ones which appear to be implicated in an increase of IBS symptoms include: fiber, prebiotics, and short-chain carbohydrates (lactose, sorbitol, mannitol, fructose and oligosaccharides). Monash University pioneered the low FODMAP approach for IBS symptoms. FODMAP is the acronym for: Fermentable Oligo- Di- Mono-saccharides And Polyols.

For those who want a deeper dive into this approach, Monash has created an app which allows you to see and tailor which foods and servings of foods are most problematic for each individual and helps you tailor a plan specific to your needs. Search for “Monash University FODMAP diet” on your smart device to download.

In Phase 1 of the approach, it’s suggested that you trial for 2-6 weeks and swap “high” and “moderate” FODMAP foods for “low” foods. In Phase 2 (6-8 weeks) you’ll have a reintroduction period to determine what the body can tolerate. In Phase 3, you should have enough data to personalize a plan for yourself.

While this is not a comprehensive list and more options can be found within the app, I’ve given examples of foods which could be excluded in efforts to improve IBS symptoms:

Fructans: grapefruit, dates, onion, garlic, wheat/rye based bread, and falafels

GOS: green peas, black beans, navy beans, kidney beans, cashews, and pistachios

Sorbitol: apple, pear, avocado, apricot, blackberries, and plums

Mannitol: mushrooms, cauliflower, celery, and sweet potatoes

Fructose (in excess of glucose): mango, boysenberry, grapes, watermelon, asparagus, honey and fruit juice

Lactose: cow’s milk, yogurt, and custard

It should be noted again that just because you are temporarily removing a food to test against your symptoms, it does not mean that you can never have the food again. Rather, you may find that in the reintroduction phase, that you can tolerate smaller amounts of a given food and can learn your personal threshold for inclusion back into the diet.

As a reference, certain medications/supplements may present with GI symptoms and this may affect how your body reacts to a dietary intervention. Examples would be: antibiotics, codeine, iron, metformin and magnesium. If you’re currently taking any of these, work with your doctor to see if other options are available to minimize conflicting results.

In some cases, caffeine and alcohol may need to be eliminated to determine if the removal improves IBS symptoms. Since there is a correlation with stress and how stress can effect the digestive system, it should be recognized that exercise can be both a stress reliever and help with gut motility. Bear in mind that intense exercise can worsen symptoms so you may need to reduce intensity to gauge effectiveness of exercise in your regimen.

Also on the topic of stress, cognitive behavioral therapy, gut-directed hypnosis and having a meditation practice can all help improve feelings of stress and may have a correlation to improved IBS symptoms.

I’ll add in closing that due to the restrictive nature of the low FODMAP approach, working with an RD or gastroenterologist is recommended to make sure that you don’t develop micronutrient deficiencies along the way.

This course was of great interest to me due to changes we saw in my wife and her dietary needs over the last couple of years. There was a link to IBS and we frequently heard about the low FODMAP approach while she was seeking help. I’ll recommend again that you download the Monash app to see if it’s helpful for you and reiterate that the information in this post is not meant to replace the guidance of a doctor or dietitian.

Disclaimer: I receive no incentives for the app recommendation.

(Photo courtesy of Maddi Bazzocco)

Last year, Marissa, Sebastian and I got off to Hocking Hills for a little getaway.

While we were at our cabin, we noticed a checkerboard and thought it might be good to teach Sebastian how to play.

I showed him how to move across the squares, how to jump, how to make a king and I showed him the moves a king could make.

Initially, I tried to show him how to read the board at least a pace or two ahead.

I’m no wiz at checkers and admittedly, I have no idea how to play chess, although I recall knowing how to play at some point in my youth.

If he made a move, I’d show him where there was an opportunity to lose a piece. If he was safe from a jump, I’d let him know but I’d also let him know if he was at risk.

He caught on pretty quickly.

Marissa, at one point, suggested that I give him some wins to build up his confidence, but our opinions differed on this.

Growing up, my father taught me how to play a lot of things: checkers, some card games, tennis, basketball, etc.

One thing he never “gave” me, was a win.

A win had to be earned.

At risk of making my Dad sound uncaring or insensitive, he was neither of those.

Dad never gloated if he won a game against me.

He never made me feel bad about not winning.

He gave me tools and tips to succeed on my own merit but the win had to come as my skills increased.

Mind you, I didn’t take all of those losses well. Sometimes, I’d feel sore about it but it taught me some valuable lessons that I’m trying to share with Sebastian.

And much like I did at about the same age, Sebastian can get sore if he feels like I’m winning a game against him.

I remind him to be patient.

I remind him to stay focused.

He plays better when he keeps his emotions in check.

I’ll admit, I’m not a particularly competitive person and perhaps my own take on playing a game wouldn’t be the best approach for an elite level talent and personality.

Also, I always try to tread carefully when I approach tips about parenting. I’m not a perfect parent and I don’t look down on people who do things differently with their own children.

But I do know that in life, the wins that tend to matter the most are the ones we earn.

You can say that about the job you get, the relationships that endure, the changes you want to see in your physique, and the way to improve yourself as a person.

So, be patient, stay focused, and play the game.

-I have a client who’s not averse to counting calories and using a food tracking app. Her weight during our check-ins had plateaued and when I asked to see her food log over a week’s time, every day was “technically” in a deficit. In other words, she “should” have been seeing progress. I asked if there were any areas of her diet that she could think of that maybe weren’t being tracked as diligently. She mentioned that she didn’t track the cream she put in her coffee, the granola she sprinkled on her yogurt, and the assorted drinks she bought when she was working. When I asked her if she could just track those items for a few days and see what the calories came out to, she discovered why the scale wasn’t moving. Long story short: the little details matter.

-I do everything I can to make fat loss easier for people. Much of this comes down to time and convenience. Not everyone wants to make a home cooked meal, either because of the time it takes to do so or because they have to navigate too many different tastes/preferences in the house. As result, many of my tips come down to saying: YES, you should try a meal delivery service, YES, you should try high protein TV dinners, YES, you should buy pre-made meals from the grocery store and warm them up, YES, you should use your crockpot more. Remember that the less brainpower you have to spend on what you’re going to eat the more you can use brainpower for more important things in life.

-If your doctor and your therapist are both telling you to put fat loss on the backburner temporarily, that’s a really great sign that you’re putting too much value on the size of your body and not enough value on what it’s costing your mental health.

-A fantastic (but not foolproof) tool for fat loss is asking yourself: How will I feel 20-30 minutes after I eat this? Asked differently: How will I feel tomorrow if I eat this today?

-If my accountant asks me how much money I’ve spent on things I don’t need, I will probably underestimate the number but she can check my bank account and see how much I’ve spent down to the penny. Fat loss doesn’t work that way. If the scale isn’t moving, we don’t know exactly what you’ve consumed, how much you’ve consumed, how much you metabolized, and how much you expended. The only way to do that is to put you into a metabolic ward. Piggybacking off the first tip in this post, pay attention to those little details and look for margins of error. Oh yeah, and don’t ever, ever, ever, ever put your exercise calories burned into your food app. Those numbers are wrong.

-I heard two people talking about how much sugar was in a type of cereal that kids typically eat. They conveniently ignored (or forgot) about the fact that the juice they also serve the child had more than double the amount of sugar. I think this type of thing happens more often than we give it credit for. Sugar, frequently demonized, isn’t the monster people think it is. Can a lot of people benefit by reducing it? Sure. Do people need to be maniacal about every single gram of it? No.

-A lot of diet plans work well because they find a way to restrict a significant portion of foods. Some might tell you to remove all highly-processed foods, others might tell you to remove all white starchy carbs, and another still might suggest that you remove potentially inflammatory foods. A diet I was recently reminded of was so strict that it requested (among other foods) to remove carrots. Yes, carrots. A medium carrot has 25 calories. If you’re struggling with fat loss, your problem is not carrots. And whoever approved that meal plan to be sent out to the masses may need to sit in a warm corner of hell.

-How you speak about your body speaks volumes about how you feed and train your body. If you speak about your body with disdain and disrespect, there’s a great chance how you nourish and train your body aligns with those feelings. This sentiment is common regardless of the size and shape of the person. So, if you do anything today (and hopefully every day thereafter), speak about your body with kindness. It may not look or perform exactly the way you want it to, but what you’re capable of doing with it is a marvel in and of itself. Treat it that way.

The next intake of my 8-week online group coaching program, Fat Loss Simplified, begins the first week of July. The regular price is $189/month for two months. If you join between now and June 30, you’ll get in at $159/month for two months. If you’re interested in joining, drop me a message below.

(Photo courtesy of Fumiaki Hayashi)

To My Sons,

Some day I won’t be in this world to share it with you (and I hope that day is far into the future).

When my father (your Opa) passed, he was far too young, and that left me with a lot of life left to live without his guidance.

You are brothers with a common bond of me as your father and you share the commonality that you each have a mother devoted to making your lives the best they can be.

Opa always had a way to inspire people with his words and some day, you may be able to look back on this blog and find it full of insights I left here for each of you.

Being the father to a son with autism and a son without autism, I never know how these words will be interpreted but perhaps you can both find something of value here.

Coming off the heels of Father’s Day, I wanted to share a handful of lessons and wishes for both of you.

-Be Good Men: I will never ask you to be perfect because I was never perfect and it won’t be a standard I hold for you. I’ll ask you to be kind and fair. I’ll ask you to never fear love and to never hold grudges. I’ll ask you to always seek ways to improve who you are. That journey never ends. I’ll ask you to be considerate, compassionate and holding open, safe space to those who confide in you.

-Be Honest Men: If there is one thing that can tear down a household, ruin a relationship and damage the way you view yourself, it is dishonesty. I’ve seen it first hand and while sometimes dishonesty can seem convenient or a way to spare pain to others, it rarely ends in the places you want it to. Be honest, be true, and, perhaps most importantly, apologize with sincerity if you hurt someone through dishonesty.

-Be Loving Men: They say that the first love you ever know is the love of your mother, and in the case of each of you, I’d say that first love is right. Knowing each of your respective mothers, you have been showered with a love like no other. Who you are today is a direct reflection of the love those mothers have given you. That’s in no way meant to discredit my love for you. As a result, I ask that when you fall in love, that you do it fully and without keeping score. That doesn’t mean you’ll never be hurt. You likely will have your heart broken more than once, but it will teach you valuable lessons. When you find the person who loves you the way you love them in return, it’s not that it will be a perfect love without friction, rather it will be the kind of love worth fighting for. Stay true to that love.

-Be Hard Working Men: You will not love every job that you do but put your best effort into the work you do. You’ll find people who are easy to work for because they know how to guide you and give you room to grow. You may also find people who are difficult to work for and those people can show you the type of person not to be. Some of my most lasting and enduring lessons in work came from people who were the most difficult to work with and for. It taught me how to be different than them. If you’re fortunate, you’ll find a career that you love but what you may find instead is a career that you’re good at which provides you a life that you love.

-Find Men To Look Up To: Let me say this first, you’ll learn a lot about being a better man through the women in your life. But aside from that influence, find men who you can look up to. Not every man who can positively influence you will be your elder. Some will be your age, some will be younger. Look for attributes you don’t already have. Absorb what you can about the way they work, the way they handle personal challenges, the way they are as fathers to their own children, the way they treat their significant others and the way they respect you for being in their life. You can learn more from your personal relationships than any book can teach you (but you need the books too).

Lastly (for now), continue to love one another. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you two are the greatest gifts I’ve given to this world. Take care of one another. Dad loves you.

To provide some backstory on this post, I was recently reading a book that was a small collection of transcripts from a podcast.

In this book, the hosts are making some small talk and the one host mentions that he’s eating grapes.

His co-host says that compared to something like Cheerios, grapes are a good option.

And it got me thinking: I wonder what my clients would say about that?

So, I asked the majority of the clients that we saw on one day of business this question: What’s worse for your health: A serving of Cheerios or a serving of grapes?

I’ll give you the results first.

Of 24 people asked, 13 said that Cheerios were worse and 11 said grapes were the worst.

What’s the truth?

Well, part of that depends on your perspective.

Here’s a breakdown of each (1.5 cups is the serving size):

Cheerios: 140 calories, 2.5g fat, 29g carbs, 4g fiber, 2g sugar, 5g protein

Grapes: 166 calories, 44g carbs, 2g fiber, 37g sugar, 2g protein

Let’s look at this from a few angles.

If fat loss were your goal, the 26 calorie difference between the two is basically a non-issue.

The difference is carbohydrates is somewhat significant and the grapes have considerably higher sugar content (that might matter if you’re a diabetic).

Most (not all) people would prefer to eat their Cheerios with milk or a dairy alternative and this would raise the calories (and macronutrients accordingly) for the serving.

We often hear people say that you should a) eat more fruits and vegetables and b) eat mostly whole, minimally processed food. Neither of these suggestions is inherently incorrect.

But what I found, in getting my clients to choose between the two is that some people hesitated in their response or would second-guess their choice. Some people think that cereal (in general) isn’t a healthy choice and others look down on grapes for the sugar content.

The reality is, neither of these options is particularly unhealthy and what you choose to include in your diet leans into personal preference and enjoyment of a food, your ability to moderate the portions you need as it pertains to your goals, and how that food may affect your performance and/or your digestive system.

If you’ve been following my work for awhile, you know what side of the fence I sit on: Don’t demonize foods. Unless you’re allergic or intolerant to something, there’s no need to keep something out of your diet. There may be foods you don’t enjoy, foods you don’t moderate well and foods which may not be helpful to keep around the house if you’re trying to succeed at something like fat loss.

I also decided to pose the Cheerios vs grapes question on Instagram over the weekend and an interesting comment came up: “This is the stuff that gives us parents so much anxiety…saying that grapes are worse than Cheerios. What are we left to feed our children?”

And I love this question. It leans right into one of my biggest problems about the information we receive on social media about our food: too many people spend their time creating content that makes viewers fear their food choices.

The unfortunate thing about that is there are far too many logical and intelligent people out there who are getting misled by poor information.

I’ll address this directly to Julie, who commented on my post: Rest assured that you can feed your child Cheerios or grapes and feel like you’re making an appropriate decision. There’s enough parent shaming and parent guilt out there about the decisions we make for our children. I’m not going to add to the mix with fear-mongering comments.

And the same sentiment goes out to the rest of you too: enjoy your Cheerios and enjoy your grapes.

If you’re struggling to make sense of all this nutrition stuff, I’ll be opening up the doors to the next intake of Fat Loss Simplified, my 8-week online group coaching program at the beginning of July. If you’d like to be on the waiting list, drop a comment below.